“And Then Sweden Happened” – 8 Days of Dreaming, Walking & Wandering in Sweden (Day 3)

^ 🎧 Now also available as audio! To listen, play the track above and at the beginning of each chapter.

🙋🏻‍♀️ Hello everyone and welcome to a new post about my Sweden hike in September 2025!

Today’s post is about day three of my hike — a day that’s slower than yesterday’s adventure, but much lighter on the soul (and the knees). A day of slow mornings, careful steps, (b)rain fog, moments of quiet wonder, and unexpected humor awaits you.

So sit back, relax and wander with me through all those little moments that make a hike unforgettable. And as always — don’t hesitate to laugh at my chaotic moments. Absolutely no hard feelings there! 😁

Would you prefer to read this post in Egyptian Arabic? Then click here.

(Estimated read time: 20 minutes)

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September 21, 2025 – Day 3
(Hike from Gnesta to Väsby)

🍃 Part I – Attempts To Reconcile With My Muscles

03:00 AM.
What’s happening? What am I doing here?
Darkness surrounds me, as I open my eyes in confusion, trying to make sense of where I am. My body answers before my memory does: I feel a heavy, aching exhaustion that reminds me of the adventure I had only just survived a few hours ago. Oh right, that!

But what time is it now?
I grab my phone to check and realize with quite a shock that it’s still 03:00 AM. Oh my… there’s NO way I’m waking up now already. I bury myself deeper into the blankets like a human burrito, trying to calm the anxious thoughts racing through me. It’s vital that my body recharges before the next hike.

It’s okay, just close your eyes. Things are fine.

When I open my eyes what feels like a few minutes later, the room is already much more lit. I stretch an arm towards the phone resting on the wooden cupboard opposite the bed. 07:00 AM. Oh, thank God.

As I sit up, the memory of yesterday’s experience comes back in vibrant flashes: the horror of the most demanding hike of willpower I’d ever embarked on, the desperate limp into the cabin at 10:00 PM, the collapse onto the couch before forcing myself upright fifteen minutes later to eat something, anything. I remember shuffling around like a malfunctioning robot, moving the spoon into my mouth with a level of exhaustion and low mobility I didn’t know I could feel. And then, the surprise I’d just needed: discovering that the bed was on the top bunk, which I had to climb steps to reach. With every step, I genuinely wondered whether I’d ever be able to walk again normally.

So, while driving down memorylane with my head still on the pillow, the big question comes to mind: how am I actually feeling today?

With hesitation, I push myself forward to the edge of the bed, carefully place one foot down the ladder, then another, carefully descending the stairs with baby steps… and I realize, miraculously, that I do feel much better!

Sure, there’s the constant pain in my ankle, the swelling in my hip joints, which refuse to believe it’s time to move again and the incredible tension in my shoulders. Nonetheless, this really is at least 60% improvement compared to yesterday. And that’s enough to give me a little hope that today might be gentler.

My thoughts, however, are still foggy and uncooperative. It takes ages to make coffee and a simple breakfast, and my eyes keep drifting back to my phone in that meaningless way that says “I refuse to start the day, and I’ll do everything useless that I can do to waste my time”.

And when I finally do manage to make coffee, I somehow spill coffee grounds everywhere and need to start again. Attempt two goes a little better, but I can now definitely confirm: It’s going to be one of those days.

I peek outside a small window above the kitchen sink and see the sky is heavy with clouds. It must have just rained, as the wood of the floor outside is glistening wet. Still, I need some fresh air, so I decide to take my coffee outside. My short excursion outside shall also serve as a proper low-key test to the weather, before I start my hike. Let’s do it.

Once outside, I drop into a cushion-less dark rattan chair and just… stare quietly. The air smells of rain — fresh, cold, but alive. No one else is around; the campsite is silent.

My eyes wander to a tree standing calmly next to the cabin, and I spot a pair of blue chickadees, a chaffinch and two wood pigeons hopping around the branches. To my surprise, they seem totally unbothered by distant gunshot noises echoing through the forest.

Well, if the birds can remain unbothered, so can you, I try to convince myself, as I on the other hand, feel quite annoyed. But watching them is the most beautiful and calming meditation and works wonders after a few minutes. They remind me of that childhood version of myself who once wanted to become a birdwatcher. After “vet” had been the front-runner for years, “birdwatcher” finally made it as my standard answer to what I’d like to be when growing up. And sitting there, with the coffee warming my hands, feeling grounded and calmed by those sweet birds, I wonder why I ever abandoned that passion. Maybe I’ll take it up in the near future again… well, let’s put a mark on that.

Then, my eyes wander to the outdoor shower — yes, there is an outdoor shower! — and I wonder whether I can muster the courage to have one in this weather. I’m very tempted to give it a try. I mean, look at all that green around it!

Honestly, I had completely forgotten this Airbnb had one, before I spotted it outside, and I briefly wondered what on earth my past self had been thinking, booking this for the end of September. Then I remembered: Past me booked this cabin while in Egypt, chilling by the sea, surrounded by 35°C heat. Well, mystery solved! 13°C was just not fathomable to her in that moment…

🍃 Part II – A Steamy Panoramic Forest View

09:00 AM.
Feeling more energized by the coffee and the outdoor freshness, I finally make the decision to try out the outdoor shower. It’s 13°C and the air fills my lungs with the most beautiful scent: wet pine leaves, fresh grass and moist soil. And I just can’t resist the chance to take a shower, while I’m surrounded by those wonderful smells and that panoramic view of the trees being hugged by the sky.

Adding to that, my muscles are desperately craving the feeling of hot water for some release, highly in need for anything that could loosen yesterday’s tension. Obsessively stretching can only do so much.

So, as you can guess, there’s really no way I’m saying no to this shower!

With big excitement, I prepare for this small adventure. The only entirely unexpected obstacle: I can’t find any shower towels… How is that possible?

A quick double-check on Airbnb confirms it — this listing does not include towels. Or bed linens for that matter. Umm… wait, what? No bed linens?

A glance at the bed and pillows confirms: yes, no linens. I should have brought my own. Well, oops…

I consider myself lucky that I was so exhausted the night before that I actually didn’t notice. Otherwise, I probably would have ended up sleeping on the couch. Sorry in advance, host and next guest…

Back to the shower endeavour: what do I do now? It’s too cold to just air dry! So, I look around again… and find that I have no choice but to use two tiny, barely 30 cm large hand towels that are included in the listing. Okay! I can make this work. Surely that’s better than drying my skin with toilet paper, right?

Ten minutes later, I’m standing under the shower, feeling utterly blissful. The hot water relaxes my muscles and my soul incredibly, and I feel held by the sight of the sky and the trees surrounding the cabin. In the chilly air, the hot water creates a dreamy cloud of steam around me. I close my eyes and take my time, letting the warmth massage every tired part of my body — truly, a much needed sensation after yesterday’s hike.

Surprisingly, the water also has quite the interesting smell, one I’ve never encountered before. The closest description I can think of is: freshly ironed linen with a hint of nature. Don’t ask me why. But that strange, yet comforting smell, combined with the occasional gentle breeze, gives this whole experience the feeling of a much needed warm hug. So worth it!

After finishing, I dry myself off with the two tiny towels, somehow still feeling warm despite the low temperature, and I head back inside — half awkwardly, half amusedly covering whatever the two towels can manage to cover… then I realize, there isn’t anyone around who could see me anyway. And even if — who cares?

🍃 Part III – Carefully Prepared, Carefully Resistant

10:20 AM.
Back inside, I continue preparing for the day ahead — way too carefully. I notice how much time I need for even the simplest tasks, with the exhaustion from yesterday still weighing heavily in my body, but I accept it. It was tough, and I want to start today’s adventure feeling as well prepared and rested as possible.

My original plan is to walk 21 kilometers along a section of trail I had been genuinely excited about. But yesterday taught me to be realistic and gentler with myself. So, with quite some resistance, I sit down and adjust the route to 17 kilometers instead. That’s four kilometers less — not much, but that saves an entire hour of walking. And when you’re tired, that difference really matters.

As part of this improved preparation, I decide to give that peculiar invention called kinesiology tape a try for the first time. It’s an elastic cotton strip with acrylic adhesive, designed to support muscles, joints, and soft tissues without restricting movement. Athletes and physiotherapists use it to reduce pain, improve circulation, and assist muscle function. At least, my Perplexity search says that.

I had never used it before, but I packed some with me just in case. And today definitely feels like a day worth trying this out!

With a vague memory of a YouTube tutorial I’d watched between the hecticness of packing a day before my trip, I apply strips to my shoulders, thighs, knees, and ankles. Even if they end up doing nothing, it’s worth a try. And at least I feel like a real professional now!

Just kidding…

10:30 AM.
To my surprise, the host of my next Airbnb offers to pick me up earlier with her car as soon as I mention that I’m coming on foot. My immediate reaction is resistance — it feels like admitting defeat. But a quiet, gentle voice manages to get through to me: come on… this is a little gift. You know it would help you greatly. Take it.

So, with quite some hesitation mixed with a bit of shyness, I accept her offer. We agree to meet in Rynäs, which is (just) 13 kilometers away instead of 17 — a good compromise! I still have some distance to walk, but not so much that I’m energetically back to square one by the end of the hike.

I continue to take ages to feel ready, constantly rethinking my plan. Maybe I should stretch again? Maybe another painkiller… What about a second breakfast? Or another coffee…

Also, just when I least need it, I get distracted watching two wasps fly into the cabin and completely fail to figure out how to leave again. I definitely cannot leave while they’re stuck inside and just hoping my host wouldn’t sit down on one of them hiding on the couch by mistake later on.

But then — finally — at 11:15 AM, I feel ready to head out.

Goodbye, little cabin. Thanks for keeping me safe after such a difficult day, I think silently, as I close the door behind me and return the key to the lockbox. I then take a deep breath in and head towards those stairs I climbed up with tears held back yesterday. We meet again

🍃 Part IV – Gently, Gently Take Your Steps

Surprisingly, I find going down the stairs more painful than going up the stairs yesterday, even though I feel better overall. Sharp pinches of pain can be felt in my feet and knees with every step. But I do feel the tension of the kinesiology tape exert a gentle pressure on my muscles, as I go down every step, and I like it — it’s like a gentle background massage.

Once downstairs, I take a moment to look around. Still no one in sight. This campsite seems abandoned. But I’m not one to complain! I need all my energies focused on the path ahead of me.

The air feels slightly cooler now, and a delicate breeze moves through the trees. I press “Navigate” to officially start recording my hike on Komoot and follow a wide gravel path into the forest. After a couple of minutes of walking, I realize it’s the same path I walked last night in complete darkness and despair! How distant that version of myself feels, as I walk on the same ground, but now bathed in daylight.

Around a hundred meters later, a bridge guides me over a narrow canal, and I stop for a moment to look around. Water lilies spread across one side of the surface, while reeds dominate the other. I also spot some trees with protruding roots spread along the shore. In the distance, a small motorboat moves slowly with two people inside, who seem to be looking at something in the reed.

I continue walking, leaning on my hiking poles for support. Only now do I notice how sore my hands are from yesterday’s heavy usage. Maybe I shouldn’t use them today? After trying a few steps without, I immediately feel the additional pressure onto my knees and realize there’s no chance. I’ll need my knees more than my hands in the coming days.

Cars occasionally pass as I try to maintain a steady pace along the gravel road. I quickly discover that walking on the thin strip of soil at the edge is much easier on my feet than walking on the uneven gravel itself — a good learning. My body is still tired and slow, but I try to stay positive and take everything gently, at a pace that feels sustainable to walk.

11:45 AM.
Before long, I’m walking alongside long, wide fields — a typical countryside scene. But one I absolutely cherish! Open landscapes tend to make me feel less suffocated than I sometimes feel surrounded by thousands of trees, as beautiful as they are. On days with heavy thoughts, they can sometimes feel heavy, rather than relieving to be around. When I then encounter an open space, it feels almost like relief, like I feel more spacious inside, like I can breathe.

With that in mind, I pause for a moment to enjoy the view, looking forward to a day of walking, while mainly surrounded by fields. I let the lush green sweep into my eyes, along with the hay bales spread evenly across the field and cows scattered in the distance. I take in the view with a happy heart, and I do my best to ignore the light drizzle settling over and around me. It’s supposed to rain today — heavily, in fact. But that’s a later problem!

Continuing yesterday’s good practice, I decide to put on some music to stay motivated and keep my thoughts under control. Spotify’s daylist decides oldies with a hint of indie pop shall be the best soundtrack to this moment. Fine by me — getting out of my comfort zone seems to be the theme of this hike anyway. And this is definitely better than the sound of passing cars.

🍃 Part V – Catching My Breath With A Bit of Hay

12:15 PM.
The drizzle has now grown heavier, so I decide to take a super short break at a crossroads and put on my rain jacket. It would absolutely suck to get wet and catch a cold. That I know for sure by now.

At 12:18 PM, I continue.

12:30 PM.
After 3.5 kilometers, I reach a large red barn, next to which lie a few huge hay bales wrapped in white plastic sheeting. I admire the confidence the owners must have to leave the doors open like that, right by the roadside. The doors are huge — maybe four meters high. Inside, hay and all kinds of equipment are neatly arranged. I could just walk in. Take a little break there in a nook… *just kidding, everyone*

In front of the barn, to the left of the sidewalk, there is a small, well-kept garden without a fence, where a few stones lie under a willow tree. It is the perfect place for a short break to rethink my plan. I plop down on a stone and catch my breath for a few moments.

I’d agreed with my host to meet at Rynäs at 03:00 PM, but I still have about nine kilometers to cover, and I know I’m already much slower than expected. With only 2.5 hours left, I doubt I’ll make it. I contemplate accepting her secondary offer: to pick me up at the Vängsö Flygfält — the local airfield — which would save roughly four kilometers. But before taking her up on that offer, I decide to observe my pace a bit longer.

At 12:45 PM, I get up and continue. I am led through more fields and then into a small wooded area overgrown with bushes. I don’t encounter a single person. All I hear is faint car noises in the distance and some strange sounds the trees make every time the wind moves through them. Every time I hear the sound, I think a car is passing, and I brace myself — only to turn around and find nothing. It was just the wind playing with the trees once again.

Not long after walking two more kilometers, I find myself in need of another break. My body’s achy, in need of gentleness and patience. So I pick a quiet spot, next to a path, overlooking a field. A perfect place for catching my breath.

There’s a slight breeze, but it’s not too cold. The rain has stopped, but the air is very humid, and I can tell it’s a matter of time, before I find myself right inside another outdoor shower.

A couple of snacks and selfies later, I try to get up to continue my hike. And I’d really like to emphasize the part about trying to. For — to my pleasant surprise — I notice it’s a bit of a problem to push myself back up. My knees just keep loosening and I fall back down midway. But with some focus, I manage to push myself up the third time.

This hike is not making me feel younger for sure… I realize with the bit of humor I can summon in this situation. But more importantly, I make a mental note to sit in a position I can better get up from next time.

A few steps later, I’m delighted by more countryside scenery — horses peacefully nibbling at the grass, cows curiously following me with their gaze and spaciousness surrounding me everywhere.

2:15 PM.
Soon, I join a wider gravel path that skirts another large field with hay bales and another red barn. I now notice a pattern: all the barns I’ve passed are painted red, and I don’t know why. I make a mental note to look it up later.

Side note – I looked it up! A quick search using Perplexity reveals that Swedish barns are traditionally painted with Falu red, a pigment derived from byproducts of the Falun copper mine. This mine, operating for nearly a thousand years until 1992, produced up to two-thirds of Europe’s copper and became a UNESCO World Heritage Site. The iron-rich Falu red protected wooden buildings from rot and harsh Nordic weather, while resembling prestigious European red brick facades. Originally used on castles and manors, the paint became affordable for ordinary Swedes in the 19th century and eventually become a cornerstone of Swedish cultural identity.

I continue down a very long road, crossing two wide fields. My motivation is very low at this point, and my knees and hip joints ache. Every time Komoot announces, “Follow this way for one more kilometer,” I feel a wave of demotivation, reminded of the distance left and my painfully slow pace.

At some point, I realize I’m moving at around 2.5 km/h — even slower than last night, with 27 kilometers behind me. In the middle of what feels like an endlessly long path, I stop, feeling small and tired. I can’t help but ask myself: Why is this trip so painful? What am I doing wrong?

I find no immediate answer, but I remind myself that I have to do everything in my power to recharge properly today and make sure the rest of the hike is easier somehow.

2:30 PM.
I take my next break in a little grassy area at the edge of a field, just after passing another red barn. I find a small gap and let myself collapse onto my backpack, staring into the gray sky. A much-needed rest, suspended between surrender and the desire to give up. I close my eyes for a minute, letting my mind float.

With pressure mounting to meet my host, I decide to just message her and accept her offer to pick me up earlier at the airport — roughly 1.5 kilometers away. I know I won’t make it to Rynäs (our originally agreed upon meeting point) by 3:00 PM on foot, and taking this chance to rest feels wise. To my relief, she replies within a minute that she’s totally fine and could even be there in fifteen minutes. And she won’t have signal as soon as she’s in the car. Which I assume she is now. Oh God! Okay, okay. That’s all the motivation I need to get and move now!

🍃 Part VI – Rain Fog To Spice Things Up

With backpack tightly strapped and hiking poles in hand, I pick up a steady rhythm and continue walking. Out of nowhere, I find a group of cyclists passing me, all riding in a neat line. The one at the front flashes a cheerful “hej,” and the last one gives me a peace sign. What is a mere instant of an encounter gives me quite a good boost of energy.

And just a few seconds after, it starts to drizzle… just what I needed. But I’m almost there! At least, that’s what I keep telling myself — mainly as an excuse not to stop and put on my rain jacket, if I’m being honest. But within thirty seconds, the drizzle grow heavier and denser. Fast. And just like that, it turns into a full-on shower. Wonderful, just wonderful!

I quicken my pace towards a tree I spot fifty meters ahead and immediately take shelter underneath it. A little stress creeps in: my host must already be waiting at the meeting point, so I pull the raincoat from around my waist and put it on as quickly as I can. And just like that, another surge of energy hits me, as soon as I take the first step. I find myself walking fast and keeping up a steady rhythm, despite the pain I feel in my legs. The rain lashes down around me like a fog made of water. Everywhere I look, it’s just painted white with rain.

Finally, I spot the little street crossing I’ve been waiting for: a couple of two-laned streets joining, with fields stretching out on every side. I head toward the intersection and, to my relief, spot the yellow houses my host had mentioned as a meeting point. Okay, that’s five minutes away. I quicken my pace, scanning all passing cars, wondering if one of them could be hers. I really can’t be missed in this outfit, but I realize I should’ve asked which car she drives. Too late now.

As I approach the intersection, I see a car pulling out of a parking spot and driving toward me. Could this be her? A right-turn signal flashes, indicating a stop — oh, what relief! She then honks loudly for at least a second, which slightly embarrasses me, but honestly, the relief overshadows everything. I walk toward her with a wide smile, the rain shower drumming all around us.

She steps out of the car, completely unbothered by the rain, and greets me with a hug, while laughing at the downpour. I love how she just stands there, shirt wetting more and more with every passing second, totally at ease. I laugh, she laughs, and I apologize profusely in advance for getting her car wet. She assures me it’s no problem — it’s her friend’s car anyway. I jokingly apologize to her friend, which sets her laughing again.

Success!

🍃 Part VII – Sure, Let’s Call It A Sea View

As soon as we’re on the road, I proceed to thank her what feels like a thousand times for her help, before turning into a total blabber-machine about the chaos of yesterday. She listens amusedly, with a laugh here and there, and then asks me why I’m going on such a hike alone. A question I’m so used to hearing, yet every time I find it difficult to answer. Still, I tell her that I like having space for my thoughts, walking at my own rhythm, and that it’s always an adventure, which helps me grow. She asks if I got scared when it got dark, and I answer honestly, though with some resistance: yes, I got a little scared. But I immediately add that I was comforted, when I called someone for support and that the fear didn’t last too long. I don’t know if she believed me.

I also tell her it’s my first time in Sweden, which surprises her tremendously. With wide open eyes, she exclaims, “What?! This is your first time in Sweden! Well… Welcome to Sweden!,” and she adds that this is the Swedish S ummer. I laugh and admit that I came at not such an ideal time, and that I probably deserve this little discomfort.

We drive to the house, and I feel comforted by her light spirit and easy-going nature. She tells me that she works with older people and that she also does foot treatments. “Ah, Podologie!” I find myself exlaiming in German, like my mouth has a brain of its own. I proceed to tell her that I love what she does and admire her work. She smiles and says that she loves doing it very much herself.

She then asks me a couple more questions about my trip: what path I’m taking, where I’ve stayed, and where I’ll be going next. I try to pronounce “Sörmlandsleden” with as much confidence as I can, failing epically, but she gets it on the second attempt. She briefly wonders if she could take me along tomorrow, but then remembers she’s going in the opposite direction for her swim training. I say it’s totally fine — the plan still is to hike after all.

Soon after, we turn onto a small pebbled street leading to a house, then curve left through a path surrounded by dense bushes, all the way to the back. From there, she walks me across a wide grass-filled space to the cabin I’ll spend the night in. Dreamily, I follow her, amazed by the surrounding and wondering what it’s like to live here, trying to keep my “wows” under control. Still, one or two manage to escape.

She unlocks the door, and I set my soil-covered hiking poles aside and slip off my shoes. Immediately, the cabin’s coziness comforts me. I can tell I’ll have a good time here.

She starts showing me around, saying I can sleep upstairs or downstairs, whatever I like. But I know for sure I’m not climbing any more stairs today…

Opening another door, we’re led to a back terrace of the cabin, and she opens her arms to present what she excitedly calls a sea view. I match her enthusiasm, but inwardly, I chuckle — it’s more of a “sea glimpse” than a sea view. A tiny strip of lake peeks over a field, barely visible. But sure, let’s call it a sea view. I absolutely love it — and seeing horses in the field makes me even happier.

As soon as she leaves, I sink onto the couch to rest my legs. It’s only 3:15 PM, so I have plenty of time to enjoy the day in whichever ways I desire.

I know I’ll definitely want to enjoy that view. So first off, I preparte a small treat — some vanilla-flavored porridge with peanut butter and chocolate pieces to set the mood straight. I take the bowl outside, wiping some rain off yet another set of rattan furniture, and sit down. Oh, finally… I can now breathe.

To my surprise, the weather feels a little warmer now, and the sun starts slowly peeking out from behind the clouds. I recall the weather forecast showing that tomorrow shall be sunny — perfect! I look forward to using yet another outdoor shower tomorrow before my next hike. Yes, I’d also forgotten about this one here…

The rest of the day is simple bliss — eating, resting, napping under two blankets, comforted by a couple of hot water bottles. I unexpectedly wake up for the sunset, and — of course — I use the chance to take a photo.

And other than that, I spend a lot of time letting the quietness calm me. I only hear the sounds of birds chattering and trees swaying in the wind. The outside mirror clinking against the wall adds a small, unnoticed rhythm. And funnily, the trees sound a little like waves — so much that later, the sound transforms into an actual sea just outside the cabin in a dream that visits me. But when the deep night hits, there’s only the sound of my breath and my pulse. Other than that, absolute calmness.

And with that, I say goodnight for the day.

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Quick view of hike stats:

🥾 Distance hiked: 9.61 km
⏱️ Time in motion: 2h 9 min
🏃🏻‍♀️ Average speed: 4.5 km/h
⛰️ Elevation hiked: 110 m

🏅 Distance hiked overall (day 1 & 2): 37.51 km

More detailed stats of today’s trip on Komoot (click on the photo to go to route):

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The next post shall be up in 2-3 weeks – stay tuned!

🖼️ If you liked the photos and would like a print or to use any of them as a wallpaper, please feel free to reach out to me! 🫶

💛 If you enjoyed reading my daydreams and would like to support me or express a small thank you, maybe you’d like to buy me a coffee? ☕ I LOVE coffee, and be assured it’s a guaranteed way to give me a BIG moment of happiness. ☺️ 💁🏻‍♀️

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«وبعدين… لقيت نفسي في السويد»

٨ أيام من المشي والأحلام والتوهان في السويد (اليوم الثالث)

أهلاً بيكم في بوست جديد عن رحلة التنزه بتاعتي في السويد في سبتمبر ٢٠٢٥!

بوست النهاردة بيحكي عن اليوم الثالث في رحلتي — يوم هادي شوية، وروحه أخف من رحلة إمبارح.
يوم مليان خطوات محسوبة، عضلات لسة بتعيّط شوية، ضباب مطر، لحظات دهشة ساكتة… وضحك مش معمول حسابه.

تعالوا نتمشى مع بعض ونستمتع بالتفاصيل الصغيرة اللي بتدي كل رحلة طعمها…
ولو حسيتوا انكم عايزين تضحكوا على مغامراتي… ولا يهِمُّكم — خدوا راحتكم 😁

مدة القراءة: حوالي ٢٠ دقيقة

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٢١ سبتمبر ٢٠٢٥ – اليوم الثالث
من غنيستا إلى فاسبي 🌧️

🍃 الجزء الأول — محاولات تصالح مع عضلاتي

٠٣:٠٠ فجراً.
هو أنا فين؟ إيه اللي جابني هنا؟

صحيت على ضلمة كحل وبحاول أفهم أنا نايمة فين وبعمل إيه هنا. بس جسمي فكرني أسرع من مخي:
حسيت بوجع ثقيل وتعب أثقل في كل منطقة في جسمي…

بصيت على الموبايل ولقيت الساعة لسه ٠٣:٠٠ الفجر.

… يا خبر. لأ طبعاً، مينفعش أصحى دلوقتي!
ضميت نفسي في البطانية زي بوريتو بشري وحاولت أسَكِت أفكاري اللي عمالة تجري ماراثون في أكتر وقت مش مناسب.
لازم أنام تاني… لازم أشحن قبل ما أكمل رحلتي بكرة… بكرة اللي هو يعتبر بدأ من ثلالثة ساعات

قفلت عيني وحاولت أهدى وأفكر نفسي إن أنا بأمان وكله هيعدي على خير.

فتحت عيني بعدها بشوية (أو يعني ده كان إحساسي)… ولقيت الدنيا منوّرة!
مديت إيدي بالعافية للموبايل اللي على دولاب خشب قدامي.
٠٧:٠٠… ياااه للراحة اللي الرقم ده قدر يحسسني بيها! 🙌

فجأة كل ذكريات امبارح رجعتلي:
الطريق اللي دمَّر نفسيتي ورجلي، دخلة الكوخ الساعة ١٠ بالليل وأنا ماسكة الدموع بالعافية، ووقوعي على الكنبة كإني محتاجة إعاشة… وبعد ربع ساعة بالظبط قيامي بالعافية أعمل حاجة دافية آكلها.

وأحلى لقطة؟ إني أكتشف إن لازم أطلع للسرير بسلم!
دلوقتي؟ بجد؟
كل خطوة حسيت ركبتي خلاص هتودعني للأبد.

بعد السحلة دي حاولت أرجع أفكاري للحاضر وأنا لسه في السرير… فكرت نفسي إن النهاردة يوم جديد… ويا ترى جسمي عامل إيه دلوقتي؟

بدأت أقوم بالراحة… زقيت نفسي بالراحة لطرف السرير، وحطيت رِجل على أول درجة من السلم… وتاني رِجل… وواحدة كمان
أوكي، في وجع… كتير… بس بالرغم من ذلك أخدت بالي إني أحسن بكتير من امبارح! يمكن ٦٠٪ أحسن.
ده كان كفاية يديني أمل إني أقدر أكمل مشي النهاردة كويس.

وبالرغم من هذا الإكتشاف لقيت أفكاري مش متعاونة أول ما بدأت اليوم بجد… أو حاولت بالمعنى الأصح.
الفطار والقهوة أخدوا سنة علشان أعملهم… وكل شوية ألاقي نفسي ماسكة الموبايل بلا هدف.
ولما أخيرًا عملت القهوة… وقعت البُن كله على الأرض 🤦‍♀️

المحاولة التانية نفعت… بس بالعافية
واضح اليوم من أوله

قررت أطلع أشرب القهوة بره — مع إن الدنيا برّه مغيّمة جداً وخشب التراس مبلول من المطر، حسيت إن جزء مني محتاج هواء بارد يصحصحني… وجزء تاني محتاج يختبر الجو كده على خفيف قبل ما أبتدي رحلتي.

قعدت على كُرسي رَتّان من غير مخدة وفضلت أتفرج على الدنيا وأحس بكل التفاصيل الحولي.
ريحة المطر لسه في الهواء… والبرد منعش.
المخيم ساكت خالص… كإن مفيش غيري

قعدت أتفرج شوية على العصافير: اتنين قرقف أزرق (أيوا اسمه كده بجد) ، عصفور حسون (آه والله اسمه كده برضه)، واتنين ورشان (حمامة شكلها مختلف عن النعرفها، دوسوا على اللينك وهتشوفوها).
عايشين حياتهم عادي… حتى مع صوت ضرب نار مسموع من بعيد في الغابة.
قلت لنفسي: لو العصافير دي مش متضايقة من الصوت… أنا أتضايق ليه؟ مليش عذر…
افتكرت نفسي وأنا صغيرة… لما كنت بقول في المدرسة إن حلمي لما أكبر أبقى مراقبة طيور، بعد ما “دكتورة بيطرية” قعدت كتييير من السنين قدام.
فعلاً مراقبة الطيور حاجة مريحة للأعصاب جداً…

بعد تقريباً خمس دقايق من تأمل الطيور وجهت نظري للدُش اللي برّه (أيوه… فيه دُش برّه!)
وقعدت أفكر… أدخل… أو بالمعنى الأصح أخرج أستحمي؟

كنت ناسية أصلاً إن المكان ده فيه دُش برّه وحاولت أفتكر هو أنا كنت فاكرة إيه وأنا بحجز المكان ده لآخر شهر سبتمبر؟…
بعدين افتكرت: دي كانت بني آدمة ثانية مأنتخة في مصر اللي حجزت… في درجة حرارة ٣٥° والبحر قدامها.
طبعاً ١٣° ماكانتش في التخيل خالص وقتها.

بس أهو… كلها خبرة جديدة

🍃 الجزء الثاني – منظر الغابة البانورامي بالبخار

٠٩:٠٠ صباحاً.
بعد ما القهوة والهواء المنعش فوقوني شوية، أخدت القرار إني هجرب الدُش اللي برّه. الجو كان برد لكن الهواء مليان ريحة حلوة… ريحة أوراق صنوبر مبلولة، عشب نظيف، وطينة رطبة. ماقدرتش أقاوم فكرة الدش وسط الريحة دي، تحت السماء وهي مرسومة زي لوحة فوق راسي، ووسط منظر الأشجار البانورامي ده. كمان عضلاتي كانت محتاجة مياه سخنة تفك الشد اللي لسه حسة بيه من امبارح. بصراحة… ماكنتش حاسة إن إمكانية إني أقول لأ كانت موجودة أصلاً.

بحماس، جهزت نفسي للمغامرة الصغيرة دي. المشكلة الوحيدة؟ مش لاقية أي فوط… إيه الحكاية؟ بصة سريعة على Airbnb أعطتني الإجابة… فعلاً الحجز مش متضمن فوط. ولا حتى ملايات… ثانية كده! ولا حتى ملايات؟ يعني إيه

بصيت على اللحاف والمخدات… فعلاً، مفيش ولا حاجة مغطياهم. كان لازم أجيب معايا… تمااام. كويس جداً إني كنت تعبانة بالليل وماخدتش بالي… لو كده كنت هنام على الكنبة. آسفة مسبقاً للهوست والضيف اللي جاي بعدي…

بالنسبة للفوط: أعمل إيه دلوقتي؟
قعدت أدور حولي… وملقيتش حل غير إني أستخدم فوطتين لليد صغننين جداً، طولهم حوالي ٣٠ سم.
أوكي… نقدر نعملها. أكيد ده أحسن من إني أنشف جسمي بورق تواليت، صح؟

بعد عشر دقايق من التجهيز النفسي بقيت أخيراً واقفة تحت الدُش وحاسة بسعادة ممتعة جداً. المياه السخنة نازلة على عضلاتي ومدفياهم كإنها بتحضنهم… وأنا مستمتعة بمنظر السماء والأشجار حولي جداً… والبخار الكثيف في الجو البارد عامل تفصيل جمالي رائع. قفلت عيني وأخدت وقتي، وسيبت الدفء يلمسّ كل جزء تعبان من جسمي — شعوركان فعلاً روعة.

كمان أخدت بالي إن ريحة المياه كانت مميزة جداً، بس بطريقة حلوة… أقرب وصف قدرت أفكر فيه: ريحة ملايات مكوية بس مع شوية ريحة طبيعة. متسألوش ليه… بس الريحة دي مع الهواء الخفيف عملتلي إحساس كده بحضن دافيء مع شحنة طاقة إيجابية.

خلصت ونشفت نفسي بالفوطتين الصغيرين، ولسه حاسة بدفء رغم ١٣°… ورجعت على جوه وأنا مستمتعة جداً ومبسوطة إني قررت أجرب.

🍃 الجزء الثالث – تحضير بعناية ومقاومة شديدة

١٠:٢٠ صباحاً.
كملت تجهيز لليوم، ولاحظت قد إيه أبسط الحاجات عمالة تاخد مني وقت… بس ملقتش قدامي حل غير إني أقبل بكده.
مهم إني أبدأ اليوم وأنا متحضّرة كويس ومستريحة قد ما أقدر.

قعدت وفتحت الموبايل لمراجعة الخطة… الخطة الأساسية كانت إني أمشي ٢١ كم على طريق كنت فعلاً متحمسة عليه جداً. بس مغامرة إمبارح علّمتني أكون واقعية وأخف على نفسي. فبشوية مقاومة، قعدت وعدّلت الخطة بحيث إني أمشي ١٧ كم بس… يعني ٤ كم أقل. مش كتير، بس هيوفروا ساعة كاملة من المشي. ولما تكون/ي تعبان/ة، فرق الساعة ده بيفرق بجد.

كجزء من التحضير الجديد، قررت برضه أجرب شريط الكينيسيولوجي لأول مرة. هو شريط قطن مطاطي، فيه لاصق، المفروض يكون بيساعد العضلات والمفاصل من غير ما يقيّد الحركة. الرياضيين وأخصائي العلاج الطبيعي بيستخدموه لتخفيف الألم وتحسين الدورة الدموية ومساعدة العضلات. عمري ما استخدمته قبل كده، ومش متأكدة لو وهم ولا فعلاً بيجيب نتيجة… بس كنت جايباه معايا إحتياطي وحسيت إن النهاردة يوم مناسب جداً أجربه فيه.

بحبة ذكريات يا دوبك قادرة أستوعبها من فيديو على يوتيوب، لصقت الشرائط على كتفي وفخذي وركبتي وكواحل رجلي. حتى لو مكنش هيعمل فرق، على الأقل جربت. وأهو مديني احساس بإني بقيت حريفة…

بستظرف… 😏

١٠:٣٠ صباحاً.
لدهشتي لقيت مستضيفة المكان اللي جاي بتعرض علي تقابلني في نصف الطريق بالعربية و تاخدني أبدر شوية أول لما قلتلها إني جايه على رجلي. أول رد فعل لي؟ طبعاً رفض… حسّيت كأني بستسلم. بس صوت هاديء في دماغي قاللي: بلاش عند… دي هدية صغيرة. خديها وريحي نفسك… ما انتي لسة قدامك أيام مشي كتير!
فبمزيج من تردد وخجل، قبلت عرضها. اتفقنا نتقابل في قرية اسمها ريناس على بعد ١٣ كم بدل ١٧ كم.
ده بالنسبة لي حل وسط لذيذ: لسه في مسافة طويلة كفاية أمشيها، بس مش لدرجة إن طاقتي ترجع لنقطة الصفر.

إرتحت بهذا القرار وكملت تجهيز… بس برضه أخدت وقت طويل جداً لحد ما حسّيت إني جاهزة كل شوية أعيد التفكير في تفاصيل كثيرة قوي… مش أحسن أعمل شوية تمارين ثانية؟ وآخد دواء مسكن؟ وآكل فطار ثاني… طب أشرب قهوة ثانية؟
كمان حبك يشغلني حاجة مش وقتها خالص: اتنين دبابير دخلوا الكوخ وتاهوا توهة سيئة ومعرفوش يطلعوا غير بعد ييجي ثلث ساعة… وأنا مضطرية أستناهم يخرجوا علشان أقفل الشباك وأكون مطمئنة إن صاحبة المكان متعضش على واحد بالغلط مثلاً ويبقى الموضوع… مش لطيف.

وأخيراً… الساعة ١١:١٥ ظهراً حسّيت إني جاهزة أسيب المكان وأبتدي رحلتي.

وداعاً يا كوخ يا صغير… و شكراً إني قدرت أحتمي بيك بعد يوم صعب كده.

🍃 الجزء الرابع – خطوة خطوة، بالراحة بالراحة

النزول من على السلم طبعاً كان مغامرة، لكن عدت على خير. وأهو حسيت بشوية مساچ خفيف في عضلاتي من الشرايط العلى رجلي… علامة كويسة!

بعد ما نزلت ولقيت نفسي واقفة على حشيش ورحلتي أخيراً بتبدأ بصيت بصة حولي… برضه مش شايفة حد خالص. جميل جداً!
فتحت كوموت (الأبليكيشن البستخدمها للتوجيه) وبدأت تسجيل الرحلة… وعمالة أقول لنفسي إن النهاردة هيكون يوم أحسن وأخف من إمبارح.

الجو أبرد شوية دلوقتي وحسيت بنسمة لطيفة بتسلم علي وعلى الشجر. بدأت أمشي على شارع معمول من ظلط وأخدت بالي إن ده نفس الشارع الأنا مشيته امبارح بالليل في عز الظلام ومنتهى اليأس… ياااه! قد ايه حسيت إن نفسي الإتبهدلت امبارح دي بعيدة دلوقتي وأنا باخد خطواتي في ضوء النهار… كويس، كويس. خلينا مركزين في القدامنا أحسن.

وصلت لكوبري بيعدي فوق مجرى مائي وطبعاً وقفت أتفرج على المنظر— ناحية مفروش فيها زنبق مائي على سطح المياه والناحية الثانية مليانة قصب. وكمان شفت شجر جذوره بارزة فوق المياه… منظر مميز! وعلى بعد شوية شفت مركب عليها شخصين بيبصوا على حاجة في المياه بس معرفتش أفهم بيبصوا على ايه بالظبط. ويلا بينا نكمل!

كملت مشي وأنا ساندة على عصيان المشي بتاعتي كمساعدة صغيرة. المشكلة إني حسيت بألم في إيدي من إستخدامي الشديد للعصيان امبارح — كنت ساندة عليهم جامد وأنا بمشي بالعافية في الآخر… بلاش أستخدمهم النهاردة؟

غيرت رأيي في خلال دقيقتين من تجربة المشي من غيرهم. مش هينفع خالص. حسيت بفرق الوزن على ركبي على طول وأخدت بالي إن الموضوع مش مستاهل… أحسن إيدي توجعني عن ركبي — بما إني لسة هحتاجهم بشدة الأيام الجية.

من حين لآخرألاقي عربيات بتعدي جنبي وأنا بحاول أكمل مشي بسرعة ثابتة. إكتشفت إن المشي على الشريط الرفيع من التربة على طرف الشارع أريح بكثير على رجلي من المشي على الظلط المستواه بيتغير مع كل خطوة — درس مفيد جداً… طول ما فيه تربة يتمشي عليها.

١١:٤٥ صباحاً.
بعد قليل من الوقت لقيت نفسي ماشية بجانب حقول ممتدة لمسافات بعيدة جداً وحسيت بإرتياح زي ما أنا متعودة أحسه عند مشاهد زي دي. بحب أشوف مناظر مفتوحة والسماء تكون باينة فيها — زي في الصحراء أو البحر برضه.
أخدت نفس عميق وخليت المنظر يفوقني شوية… كل ده وأنا بحاول أطنش لإكتشافي بإن الدنيا بدأت تندع… المفروض تمطر جامد النهاردة.

بس طول ما الدنيا تمام هستغل الفرصة إني أخلي عيني تسيح في المناظر الجميلة البتقابلني في كل اتجاه وفي تفاصيلها: حزم القش، بقر، خيول متوزعة على الساحة الواسعة القدامي.

عشان مخليش أفكاري المتعبة تاخد راحتها قوي شغلت موسيقى تشاركني اللحظات دي زي امبارح… لقيت سبوتيفاي بيقترح علي أولديز (أغاني أيام زمان) وشوية إيندي (موسيقى مستقلة) كموسيقى تصويرية لهذه اللحظة… وماله؟ حلو برضه. ما هي الرحلة كلها عبارة عن الخروج من مجال الراحة بتاعي. وأي موسيقى أكيد أحلى من صوت العربيات!

🍃 الجزء الخامس – ناخد نفسنا من حبة ريحة قش

١٢:١٥ بعد الظهر.
المطرة زادت شوية، فقررت آخد استراحة صغيرة عند تقاطع وألبس الجاكيت بتاعي. هيبقى إحساس وحش قوي إني أتبل وآخدلي برد كمان… بالذات لو دي حاجة ممكن أتجنبها بسهولة. فلبست الجاكيت وكملت مشي الساعة ١٢:١٨ بعد الظهر.

عند مسافة ٣،٥ كيلو لقيت قدامي حظيرة حمراء كبيرة قدامها كزة حزمة قش ملفوفة ببلاستيك أبيض. عجبني على طول ثقة المُلّاك في الدنيا وإنهم سايبين باب الحظيرة مفتوح على الشارع كده. الباب بجد ضخم — ييجي أربع متر مثلاً. جوه الحظيرة فيه قش أكثر وأدوات مختلفة متوزعة على المكان جوه. أدخل أتفرج طيب؟ حسيتهم بيقولولي اتفضلي…

بصيت في الإتجاه التاني ولمحت جنينة صغيرة مفتوحة ومعتنى بيها كويس ومفيش حوليها سور. في نصها شجرة جميلة وحبة حجر متوزع تحها في دايرة… فقررت آخد استراحة محترمة هنا وأعيد التفكير في خطتي. قعدت على حجرة منهم وأخدت نفس عميق من الهواء المنعش قبل ما أفتح موبايلي وأتسحل في أفكاري.

بما إني اتفقت مع صاحبة المكان الجي إني أقابلها عند ريناس الساعة ٠٣:٠٠ بعد الظهر جمعت إني غالباً مش هلحق أوصل. لسه فاضل لي ٩ كيلو أمشيهم في ساعتين ونص بس. وأنا للأسف أبطأ مما توقعت…

افتكرت إنها اقترحت علي تجبني من عند المطار المركزي وأخدت بالي إن ده هيوفر تقريباً ٤ كيلو… مش سيئ. بس طبعاً حسيت اني بتدلع فقررت أراقب سرعتي شوية كمان وأقرر عند الإستراحة الجية لو أكتبلها.

بعد ربع ساعة من الإستراحة قمت وكملت مشي على الطريق المخصص للمشاه. لقيت نفسي بعدي جانب حقول تانية وبعدين بدخل غابة صغيرة الطريق فيها مليان شجيرات. مفيش بني آدم واحد قابلته في طريقي… فقط بسمع أصوات عربيات عن بعد وأصوات غريبة الشجر بيعملها. كل شوية أسمع صوت يفكرني إن فيه عربية بتقرب وهتعدي جانبي فآجي أوسعلها بس أول ما ألف ملقيش حاجة… يطلع كل مرة صوت الهواء بيلعب مع الشجر. كل مرة أقع في الفخ ده.

بعد مشي كيلومترين تانيين لقيت نفسي محتاجة إستراحة تانية. جسمي وجعني ومحتاج حنية وصبر كتير. فدورت على مكان هادي جانب الممشى باصص على حقل وخليت نفسي أترمي على الأرض… فيه نسمة خفيفة في الجو لكن مش برد أوي. 

بعد ما أكلت سناكس وأخدت لي سلفي أو اتنين حاولت أقوم وأكمل مشي… حاولت بالمعنى. لقيت إني بعافر جداً في القومان. حاولت أزق نفسي لفوق بإيدي لكن ركبي مش راضية تستجيب. مع كل محاولة أقع لوراء تاني… يووه! 

أخدت بالي اني لازم أخد بالي من الوضعية اللي هقعد بيها المرة الجية، بحيث انها تكون وضعية أقدر أقوم منها بسهولة. طبعاً ده بس اليومين دول وأنا مرهقة كده… على ما أرجع لطبيعتي. ومع شوية تركيز عرفت أقوم وأكمل طريقي وضحكت وأنا بفكر إن الرحلة دي مش هتصغرني في السن.  

بعد كام خطوة زيادة لقيت منظر الأرياف الأنا حافظاه بيصالحني على التعب الأنا فيه… قدامي خيل بياكل حشيش بإستمتاع ولا مبالاه، بقر بيتفرج علي بفضول وبراح حولي في كل إتجاه. 

بعد شوية لقيت نفسي بعدي فوق طريق زلطي تاني بيعدي من وسط حقلين… طبعاً مع منظر القش المألوف وحظيرة تانية لونها أحمر. لاحظت إن كل الحظائر العديت جانبها لونها أحمر. قلت لنفسي أحاول أفهم ليه بعدين.

دورت على السبب وأقدر اقولكم الآتي: الحظائر السويدية بتتدهن تقليدياً باللون الأحمر البيسموه “falu” وهو صبغة مشتقة من منتجات ثانوية لمنجم النحاس الاسمو “falun”. المنجم ده كان بينتج تقريباً تلتين من إحتياج أوروبا للنحاس وفضل شغال تقريباً ميت سنة لحد ١٩٩٢… وبعدها أصبح أحد مواقع التراث العالمي لليونسكو. اللون الأحمر ده بقى مليان حديد وبيحمي المباني الخشبية من التعفن والطقس القاسي في الشمال، وكمان بيشبه واجهات الطوب الأحمر الأوروبية الراقية لأن اللون ده بيستخدم في الأصل في القصور وما يشبهم… وأصبح بقى متاح للسويديين البسطاء في القرن التاسع عشر. وده خلاه يبقى ركن أساسي للهوية الثقافية السويدية. 

كملت طريقي ونفس المنظر الريفي متابعني في كل مكان… لحد ما وصلت لطريق طويل بيعدي مابين حقلين. في اللحظة دي حسيت إن معنوياتي ضعيفة جداً. كل مرة كوموت يقوللي “كملي مشي في الطريق ده كمان كيلومتر” أحس بدفعة إحباط، بيزيد كمان مع إدراكي إن سرعتي بطيقة جداً.  

أخدت بالي اني مشية بسرعة ٢٬٥ كيلومتر في الساعة… ده كمان أبطق من سرعتي امبارح وأنا عند كيلو ٢٧. وقفت في نص الطريق، أخدت نفس وسألت نفسي: هو ليه الموضوع صعب كدة؟ أنا بعمل إيه غلط؟
قررت إني لازم أعمل كل الأقدر عليه علشان أريح كويس لما أوصل وأقدر أخفف الطريق على نفسي بكرة والأيام الجية.

٢:٣٠ بعد الظهر.
 أخدت استراحتي الأخيرة فوق قطعة حشيش على طرف الحقل. نزلت شنطتي وخليت نفسي أقع فقيها وعيني عائمة في السماء المغيمة. إحساسي بيتمرجح ما بين اليأس والرغبة في الإستسلام. بس الإستسلام مش إختيار بالنسبة لي. فقفلت عيني شوية وسبت أفكاري تتفسح. 

بما إن الوقت بيجري والضغط بيزيد عشان معاد مقابلتي مع صاحبة المكان قرب، قررت أوفق على اقتراحها وأسألها لو ممكن تاخدني من عند المطار المركزي. المطار تقريباً على بعد ١٬٥ كيلو من هنا وأنا خلاص قبلت الموقف وعرفت اني مش هلحق أوصل ريناس الساعة ٣:٠٠… 

لفرحتي لقيتها بترد علي بسرعة وبتقولي إن مفيش مشكلة خالص وإنها ممكن تقابلني هناك في ربع ساعة. تمام جداً! ده بالظبط الدافع الأنا محتجاه دلوقتي عشان أقوم وأكمل مشي. 

🍃 الجزء السادس – من شبورة عقلية لشبورة مطرية

لبست الشنطة ومسكت العصيان وكملت مشي بسرعة ثابتة قد ما أقدر. لقيت مجموعة رجال راكبة عجل معدية جانبي، كلهم ماشيين في خط وراء بعض. أول واحد في الطبور رحب بي بلطف وآخر واحد فيهم شاورلي. اللحظة البسيطة دي الطولها ميجبش حتى خمس ثواني رفعت من معنوياتي جداً. 

وبعدين على مرة واحدة بدأت تندع. محبتش أقف عشان ألبس الجاكيت وأعطل نفسي فكملت مشي. لكن في خلال ثلاثين ثانية الدنيا بدأت تمطر أجمد. عرفت إني ضروري أقف تحت أول شجرة ألاقيها وألبس الجاكيت لأن أكيد هتمطر أكتر كمان. وفعلاً هما عشر ثواني ولاقتها طخ! مطرة في كل مكان… ومن كتر ما المطرة جامدة هي تشبه شبورة مش باين منها حاجة. سرعت مشيتي تجاه شجرة عن بعد ٥٠ متر أقدر أحتمي بيها وأول ما وصلت فكيت الجاكيت من حولين وسطي ولبسته مرة ثانية.  

بدأت أحس بشوية ضغط وأنا بفكر إن أكيد الست مستنياني دلوقتي وأنا محتاسة في المطرة دي. فسرعت قد ما أقدر. وعلى مرة واحدة وكإن مفيش أي حاجة حصلت لقيت شحنة طاقة غريبة جداً بتزقني لقدام — لقيت سرعتي عند ٥ كم/س – يا للمعجزة! فمشيت ومشيت والدنيا حولي شلال مطر.

وأخيراً لقيت تقاطع صغير كنت مستنية أشوفه… الشارع الأنا ماشية فيه بيخش في شارع أكبر منه وحواليهم حقول من كل ناحية. كملت مشي في إتجاه التقاطع ولقطت بيوت صفراء كانت الست قالتلي عليهم وكنت فاقدة الأمل إني عمري هلاقيهم خلاص — بس هايل! يا دوبك خمس دقايق مشي كمان وهوصل هناك.

سرعت مشيتي وعيني ماشية مع كل عربية بتعدي قدامي في تفس الوقت، بحاول أشوف لو تكون واحدة فيهم عربيتها. أكيد هي هتشفني بمنظري الكوميدي ده بس برضه يا ريتني كنت سألتها هتكون سايقة عربية إيه… بس خلاص بقى أهو ده الموقف دلوقتي.  

وأنا داخلة على التقاطع لقيت عربية كانت راكنة بره الشارع على بعد ٢٠٠ متر بدأت تتحرك ومتجهة ناحيتي. ممكن تكون هي؟ 

أول ما لقيتها بتدي إشارة يمين وبتهدي جمعت إنه أكيد هي — ياه للراحة الحسيت بيها! كملت مشي في اتجاهها بسرعة وأنا منظري أكيد كوميدي وإبتسامة كبيرة على وشي. 

لقيتها بتفتح الباب وبتنزل من العربية ومحسستنيش في أي لحظة إنها متضايقة من المطرة. سلمت علي وحضنتني وهي عمالة تضحك على المطرة معايا… عجبتني جداً اللحظة دي. هي واقفة بتضحك والقميص بتاعها عمال يتبل أكتر وأكتر منغير ما يبان أي إنزعاج على وشها. 

فضلت أضحك وهي بتضحك وبدأت أتأسف على إني هَبِل العربية بتاعتها. أكدتلي إن مفيش أي مشكلة — دي عربية صاحبتها أصلاً. تمام!
“يبقى أنا آسفة إني هبل عربية صاحبتك” — ضحكتها الجملة كتير. 

🍃 الجزء السابع – ولا يهمك، هنسميها سي ڤيو

أول ما طلعنا على الطريق قعدت اشكرها ألف مرة على مساعدتها ولقيت نفسي مش عارفة أوقف كلام عن مغامرتي بتاعة امبارح. فضلت تضحك معايا وسألتني أنا ليه بعمل الرحلة دي لوحدي. سؤال وجيه، متعودة أسمعه ولكن كل مرة بحس بصعوبة في الرد عليه. حاولت أرد كالآتي: لما بمشي لوحدي بيبقى عندي مساحة لأفكاري، وبعرف أمشي بالسرعة التناسبني فببقى براحتي وكل مرة بتبقى مغامرة جديدة وبآخد خبرة وبتعلم حاجات جديدة. 

سألتني لو خفت إمبارح لما الدنيا ضلمت… قد ما كان صعب علي الإعترف بالإجابة الصريحة قلتلها الحقيقة: أيوة خفت.
بس أنا كلمت حد وده ساعدني كتير. وكمان في الأخر قدرت أوصل ودي كانت بنسبالي خبرة حبيت أكسبها. 

حكيتلها إن دي أول مرة ليا في السويد ولقيتها استغربت جداً. “إيه؟ أول مرة ليكي بجد؟! أهلاً وسهلاً في السويد!” وقعدت تهزر وتقول إن ده الصيف السويدي. ضحكتني كتير وقلتلها إني استحق الحصل ده شوية لأني جيت في وقت سيئ. 

كملنا طريقنا للبيت، وحسيت بالراحة حولين روحها المرحة. حكتلي إنها بتشتغل مع كبار السن، وعلشان كده لازم تمشي الساعة ٣:٣٠ بعد الظهر. حكت كمان إنها بتشتغل في طب الأقدام. لقيت نفسي على مرة واحدة بقول “أيوا، بودولوجي!” بالألماني، مندهشة من معرفتي بهذه الكلمة. أكدتلي الإجابة بهزة من راسها. قلتلها إني بحب الهي بتعمله جداً وإني بحترم الناس البتشتغل مع كبار السن قوي. ابتسمت وسألتني عن بقية مساري، وفين مضيت الليلة إمبارح، وهتجه على فين بعد كده. حاولت نطق إسم الطريق الكنت ماشية عليه — “سورملاندسليدن” — وأنا مش واثقة من نفسي قوي ولاقيتها فهمتني عند تاني محاولة. لقيتها بدأت تفكر بصوت عالي لو ممكن توصلني جزء من الطريق بكرة بس إفتكرت بعدها إنها هتروح في الاتجاه المعاكس لتمارين السباحة بتاعتها. فلتلها مفيش مشكلة على الإطلاق — الخطة الاساسية هي ما زالت إن أنا أمشي بالرغم من كل الحصل

دخلنا في شارع صغير مرصوف بيوصل للبيت، ودخلنا ملف وسط الشجيرات لغاية ما وصلنا في جنينة كبيرة مستخبية وراء البيت. من هناك، مشيت معايا فوق مساحة واسعة مليانة حشيش أخضر كثيف لحد ما وصلنا الكوخ اللي همضي فيه الليلة. فتحت الباب وأنا داخلة وراها بحذر… نزلت عصيان المشي المليانة طينة بجانب الباب وقلعت جزمتي. على طول، حسيت بالراحة في الكوخ الدافئ البيدعو للأنتخة.

كملتلي التور وأنا منبهرة بالمكان الهمضي فيه بقيت اليوم ومش قادرة أستنى لحد ما أبقى لوحدي فيه. قالتلي إني ممكن أنام فوق أو تحت (فيه سلم بيوصل لدور صغير قوي فوقاني كدة) وأنا طبعاً عرفت على طول إني هنام على الكنبة الشكلها مريح جداً وقدامي المطبخ. ده غير إن أنا مستحيل أطلع أو أنزل سلم تاني النهاردة. 

بعد كدة لقيتها بتفتح باب تاني بيودي لظهر الكوخ. وفرحت على طول بالمنظر — حقل واسع كبير والسماء ممتدة فوقه وأحلى حاجة: خيل ماشي في الحقل. يا سلام! 

لقيتها بتشاورلي على المنظر ودراعها مفتوح كإنها بتقدم عرض وبتقول بمنتهى الحماس: “أهو السي فيو” 

ضحكت جداً من جوايا وأنا ببص على شريط من البحيرة، بعيد جداً، يا دوبك باين، لكن عملت نفسي منبهرة زيها عشان مديقهاش. ومالو؟ نسميه سي فيو. كله جميل… ومفيش أي حاجة مضايقني دلوقتي.

أول ما مشيت، طبعاً إترميت على الكنبة وفردت رجلي. أخيراً. راحة. 

الساعة كانت لسة ٣:١٥ الظهرية فكان عندي وقت كتير قوي أعمل فيه الأنا عايزاه. بدايته كانت إني طبعاً لازم أستغل المنظر ده! فعملت حاجة آكلها وخرجت برا وقعدت على كنبة أتفرج على المنظر… الخضرة الجميلة، الحصان البيتمشى مع نفسه في الحقل. السماء المغيمة جداً بس مش مضايقاني خالص. شميت ريحة الجو وحسيت إني خلاص بدأت أرتاح من اليوم بجد. 

أخدت بالي إن الجو مش برد قوي… وإفتكرت إن الشمس كدة كدة هتطلع بكرة… ده شيء هايل! بالذات إني أخدت بالي إن هنا برضه فيه دش بالخارج — مسخرة! بكرة ليه زيارة أكيد… 

وبقية اليوم كان مليان سعادة فقط — أكل، راحة، نوم، دفء، أنتخة. صحيت فقط على وقت الغروب وأخدت صورة وكملت أنتخة على الكنبة.  

ومع هذا المود خليت اليوم يكمل معايا وأحاول قد ما أقدر مخليش حاجة تضايقني أو تقلقني. وأحلى حاجة بالنسبة لي كانت طبعاً (أي حد عرفني هيرد علي السؤال ده أسرع مني)… الهدوء. مفيش غير صوت العصافير كل فين وفين ولما الدنيا ضلمت مفضلش غير صوت الهواء وهو بيلعب مع الشجر… وده كان يشبه صوت موج البحر ساعات، لدرجة إنه خلاني أحلم بالبحر لما نمت. 

فمفضلش غير صوت نفسي وصوت البحر…
ومع ده هقول تصبحوا على خير! 

〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️

نظرة سريعة على إحصائيات الرحلة:

المسافة المقطوعة: ٩٫٦١ كم
مدة الحركة: ٢ ساعات و ٩ دقيايق
سرعتي المتوسطة: ٤.٥ كم/ساعة
الارتفاع المقطوع: ١١٠ م

🏅 المسافة المقطوعة من أول الرحلة: ٣٧.٥١ كم

إحصائيات أكثر تفصيلاً على كوموت (إضغط/ي على الصورة للانتقال إلى المسار):

〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️

البوست القادم هيكون جاهز كمان ٢ – ٣ أسابيع– خليكم معايا على الخط!

ولو عجبتك الصور ونفسك في واحدة مطبوعة أو عايز/ة تستخدم/ي أي صورة كـخلفية للموبايل أو اللابتوب، ابعت/ي/لي رسالة!

〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️

“And Then Sweden Happened” – 8 Days of Dreaming, Walking & Wandering in Sweden (Day 2)

^ 🎧 Now also available as audio! For the audio version, play the track above.

🙋🏻‍♀️ Hi everyone and welcome to a new post about my Sweden hike in September 2025!

Today’s post is about day two of my hike — a day with its fair share of challenges and a couple of mental thunderstorms. ⛈️ It’s not the brightest chapter of the hike, but it was part of the journey, and it deserves to be shared honestly.

So sit back, enjoy, relax and feel free to laugh at my chaos. 😁

Would you prefer to read this post in Egyptian Arabic? Then click here.

(Estimated read time: 35 minutes)


September 20, 2025 – Day 2
(Hike from Järna to Gnesta)

🍃 Part I – Greeted By Morning Dew, Warmed Up By A Golden Fog

05:30 AM. A gentle “By The Seaside” ringtone tries to nudge me awake – to no avail. Unless there’s an actual sea right outside my window, it won’t do the trick. Snooze.

05:39 AM. Second try. With one eye open, I look around me. It’s still dark, and it’s cold. I can’t imagine getting out from under these incredibly cozy blankets. Snooze.

This battle goes on for roughly another twenty minutes, until at 06:00 AM, luckily, I once again summon the question that hits the right nerve at the right time: Do you really want to hike 25 kilometers today without a proper breakfast and morning stretch? And do you want to miss your train? Clock’s ticking… Okay, okay! I’m up.

I push myself upright and sleepily walk to the window, curious to catch a glimpse of what I assume must be a beautiful dawn scene. But as soon as I open the blinds, I see nothing but an incredibly dew-filled window pane showing a blurry, dark terrace beyond it. I can also vaguely spot a couple of really big spiders floating in the corners. Mmm… let’s just keep the blinds closed for now, shall we?

A hot cup of coffee and warm porridge set the tone right for my usual morning stretches. I don’t have much time, so I multitask my way through getting dressed, stretching some more, tidying up, and packing everything as neatly and efficiently as my 6:00 AM brain can manage – preparing for the train ride and the long hike ahead.

Once finished, I calmly go over today’s plan in my mind: in a few minutes, I’ll walk to Trelleborg Central Station to take the first train to Malmö, then the second train to Södertälje, and finally a third one to Järna. From Järna, I’ll start a 25 kilometer hike all the way to a forest cabin in Gnesta. Intense, I know. But I sure am thrilled about the adventure awaiting me!

I open the blinds again – now revealing a lighter, though still incredibly blurry scene. I then swing my backpack onto my shoulders, slip into my shoes and say goodbye to my little sanctuary for this short night.

06:35 AM. I hear my hosts’ dog faintly bark as I leave the apartment. So friendly…

But as soon as I step onto the street, the place already feels miles away. It’s incredibly quiet, filled with that magical morning freshness, just as the light-blue sky begins to playfully turn pinkish. I take a deep breath, inhaling the cool, humid air, feeling relieved and happy to be here.

The streets give off a bit of an American Beauty vibe – you know, the movie. Cute houses, each with its own well-kept garden. Long street. Quiet, peaceful. Trees lining up along the pavement.

07:13 AM. A few unplanned detours and small panic moments later, I finally reach the station. Google Maps had guided me through streets that are actually closed off for construction, forcing me to jog my way through longer routes just to make it on time. But once there, I realize I still have seven full minutes to spare. Win!

I get enough time to make a photo showing a beautiful sunrise scene playfully reflecting off the trains.

Quick pre-boarding platform snapshot
(my train’s on the right)

07:20 AM. The train leaves right on time, with me sitting in a comfy corner seat. Relief washes over me as I realize I’ve made it. I enjoy the emptiness and calm around me – it’s just me and a couple of other passengers.

I lean back and watch scenes of vast, golden fields slide by, embraced by morning fog and glorious sunshine, offering me a quiet kind of comfort.

I keep going over today’s plan in my head, while double-checking the train tickets on my phone. The conductor appears within the first few minutes, requesting to see the first one of them. I’m comforted by his smile and polite tack (“thank you” in Swedish) – a small confirmation that I’ve got the correct ticket. Now I can relax a little.

🍃 Part II – In Transit, In Thought

07:52 AM. Thirty-two minutes later, we reach Malmö, and I find myself in a station that immediately confirms I’ve entered a big city. I follow a few passengers up the escalator, before stepping into a current of hundreds of people through the upstairs halls.

Knowing I won’t have much time to stop at a supermarket for water later on in Järna, I head into the first service store I spot and impulsively buy three bottles of water and a banana. You can’t have too much water!

Five minutes later, I’m inside the train to Södertälje, happily finding my reserved seat right away. I get cozy, greet the Swedish ad that will stare me into the face for the next five hours, and watch the platform drift away, as we begin our journey on time at 08:07 AM.

My seat for the next five hours

The mood on the train is quiet and at ease – everyone’s either sleeping or reading. As I’m now fully awake, I take a moment to become mindful of my surroundings: a young man in the four-seater next to me is immersed in a book, shoes off, legs stretched comfortably across from him. In front of me, a sweet-looking couple leans their heads together; a few minutes later, the woman spots the empty seats and moves to lie down there, continuing her nap. Sweet.

The sun pours gently through the window, soft and golden, adding to the warmth of it all. I stretch my own legs across the seat beside me (no seat neighbor, yay!) and put on my beloved audiobook The Disappearance of the Universe by Gary Renard, filling the air with its mind-opening spiritual-philosophical musings. With amusement about the time and place I find myself in right now, I immerse myself in thoughts about the universe, hugged by this quiet morning between strangers. I sink into a kind of meditative stillness, recharging my energies – at least until a hundred new passengers board the train a few stations later.

11:15 AM. The steady motion of the train begins to make me feel a little dizzy, so I decide to get up and walk to the bistro in search of grounding – and coffee. A few wagons, some hallway balancing acts, and a queue of ten customers squeezed into a one-meter-wide corridor later, I return with a hummus wrap and a steaming cup of coffee, both of which I enjoy gratefully back at my seat. Outside, the sun has disappeared and the sky has turned hazy, which is a bit of a bummer for my hike… but I stay optimistic. The forecast promised clearer skies later. Little do I know that will be the least of my worries in just a few hours.

12:12 PM. An announcement mumbles something in Swedish, and it’s by pure luck that I catch the word Södertälje. How is it possible that I almost missed my stop? Oh, dear…

Hastily, I pack everything up in the remaining three minutes — headphones, hummus wrap, the three impulsively bought water bottles, banana — and put on my jackets in the planned order. I can do this!

At 12:15 PM, I’m standing on the platform in Södertälje, relieved. I take a deep breath, before walking off to find the next train.

Arriving in Södertälje Syd

🍃 Part III – The Big Slow Beginning

The station is small, with just a few people scattered around – and a somewhat sleepy vibe to it. Finding the next platform turns out to be trickier than expected. The signs don’t help, and the app doesn’t show which platform my train to Järna departs from. None of the screens display the train number I’m seeing on the app either. Hmm. Am I at the wrong station?

I look around, my eyes scanning my surroundings for someone I can ask, but there’s no one particularly approachable – and no information desk, just another service store. Two men glance at me with a smirk, which I take as my cue to just go anywhere else but stay here.

Finally, with great relief, I spot a small hidden sign at the far end of the station that says Pendeltåg (commuter train) – exactly what I’ve been looking for! I follow it down a long hallway, then an even longer escalator that carries me to a hidden open-air platform. This must be it. And the train won’t arrive for another twenty-eight minutes. Cool.

Platform in Södertälje

For a moment I consider walking instead – it is just one stop after all. But a quick look at Komoot confirms it’s a definite NOPE. It’s a four kilometer walk. An hour on foot. Not worth it. At least not prior to the 25 kilometers awaiting me… And so I stay and practice patience.

Once seated, I let the pre-hike calmness settle over me, taking in the small sounds that greet me – the rustling of leaves in the wind, the occasional announcement echoing through the platform, the voice of the only other passenger murmuring on the phone. I mentally revise today’s route, sending a quiet wish that it won’t be as difficult a route as I fear it will be.

But a demanding one it shall be — 25 kilometers with around 400 meters of elevation — and what I hadn’t realized before booking all my accommodations and trains: the sun now sets at 7:00 PM. Back in Germany, hiking in early September, I’d had a full extra hour of light. That difference might seem small, but today, it could make things… well, adventurous. Let’s just call it that.

My view while I mentally revise today’s route

01:01 PM. The announcement voice repeats for the fourth time that the train is about to arrive — it’s been saying so every minute for the past four minutes. At 01:02, it finally does.

I step in and notice with happiness that the wagon is empty, with plenty of space. Even though it’s just a seven-minute ride, I will take any rest I can get before the hike. I’ve managed to attach my backpack in juuust the most comfortable way I could figure out, but it’s still heavy. I find a seat near the door and let the bag rest on the seat beside me.

Luckily the train’s empty

01:09 PM. Järna. Finally! How long did it take me to get here again? A day and a half, if I count yesterday’s journey. And now I’m here. I take a deep breath in, as I take the first steps onto the platform, looking for the stairs. My navigation app points to an exit on the right, up a steep set of stairs. Ugh! Stairs already? I spot a ramp on the opposite side and decide to walk toward it, hoping it’ll lead me around somehow — but no.

I find myself under a heavy grey sky, next to a street, a bus stop, a few small houses, and immediately realize that I’ll have to walk back. The ramp leads nowhere useful; the only way to the other side — the one the stairs would’ve taken me to — is up a busy, elevated road, and then across, costing me a good 500 meters of effort. No way around going back and taking the stairs. Still, I can’t help but wonder what people in wheelchairs do here. That’s a cruel detour to have to take.

I spot a pair of teenage girls watch me curiously, while I think. It must be my hiking poles… or my braids… or my backpack… or just EVERYTHING mixed with my clueless face, I think to myself with an inner laugh. What’s up with this cluelessness anyway? I ask myself. I do have a plan after all, but a small part of me feels reluctant to begin — that familiar pre-hike unease.

I realize I need some grounding before I start. I walk toward a nearby bench, drop my backpack, unclip the poles, take a sip of water, and peel off my fleece jacket — the humidity is rising, and I’ll be sweating soon enough. I put my phone on silent, so as not to be disturbed.

A few deep breaths in and out, and it’s definitely time to move. It’s already 1:15 PM. I pull myself together, swing my backpack onto my shoulders again, and head toward the stairs I’d been trying to avoid.

My pre-hike grounding spot

🍃 Part IV – Finding Rhythm Amongst Mental Battles

As soon as I take my first steps, the outskirts-industrial vibe clings to me: wide streets, spacious grey pavements, and monotonous bland commercial buildings with bad typography. I decide this is the perfect chance to practice using my hiking poles — my very first attempt. Clumsily, I try to balance being overly self-conscious and out-of-place with finding a rhythm that works… but I fail spectacularly.

I try to find inspiration and support in the sight of a little senior woman walking towards me, with poles in her hand. She moves effortlessly, yet she holds the tips at ear level, which makes… no sense to me at all. I notice I’ve got no “theoretical” clue on how to approach this, should’ve watched a YouTube video, and decide to just stash the poles away for now and try again later. I can’t afford to let anything slow me down now, and it’s hard enough with the constant stream of cars rushing by.

Around a kilometer and a half later, Komoot guides me to a hidden left entry – and just like that, I finally step onto the Sörmlandsleden. I can now say my hike has officially started!

Entry into Sörmlandsleden

The Sörmlandsleden spans rougly 1,000 kilometers of hiking trails across Södermanland, south of Stockholm, weaving through nature reserves, cultural sites, and historical monuments. The section I’m on leads mainly through untouched greenery.

Soon enough, I find myself gliding over long, lush-green grass, surrounded by thousands of trees. The air smells fresh and humid. And funnily enough… like mushrooms. Intensely so. Curiously, I take a deep breath in, smiling at the novelty of this experience. And as the elevation rises, I find my hands intuitively reach for the poles. Indeed, in this entirely different setting, I can figure out how to use them. While naturally leaning forward on the incline, they offer support just when I need it, and to my big relief, I notice it’s actually helping a lot!

A few steps later, I encounter a group of four young men lounging on the grass at the edge of the path, one of them half-leaning into it. Awkward… I prepare a friendly hi, but they don’t give me any attention and remain immersed in their conversation. Oh well, probably for the best.

I walk further, noticing the trail is changing: stoney ground, much of which is covered in thick moss, surrounded by hundreds of trees. And the mushroom smell gets even more intense. The air feels more humid now, reminding me to thank my past self for following my intuition and taking off my jacket. I take a moment to pause and let my eyes wander over the fresh green.

One of many gigantic mushrooms I’ve spotted

Moments later, as I shortly stop over a bridge, I hear human voices. I look back and spot the same group of young men catch up to me. Am I that slow?! I try to quicken my pace, but they are still much faster. As I’ll just be in their way, I just let them pass me, flashing them with as confident a smile as I can muster. They thank me briefly and move on. Damn, they really are fast! And they’re not even using hiking poles… impressive, but also slightly intimidating.

The bridge
View from the bridge

My worry grows, as I check Komoot after what feels like an hour of walking. Expecting five kilometers, I see I’m only at 3.25. With still over twenty kilometers remaining! The reality, that this will be much more difficult than I expected, hits. Elevated ground slows progress much more than I’m used to.

However, I remind myself to stay focused and disciplined: take fewer photos, shorter breaks, regulate your pace and most importantly – don’t doubt too much.

The route awaiting me after the bridge

However, the “don’t doubt too much” part proves to be the most challenging. My mind takes this as an invitation to launch a relentless assault of doubt, spamming me with thoughts like:
“This will never work. What were you thinking?”
“This is so exhausting. You’re not well-rested and your backpack is so heavy. Poor planning!”
“Wasn’this supposed to be this fun, amazing experience you’ve been planning for months? Doesn’t look fun to me…”
And the worst one of all: “What if you don’t make it? What if you have to spend the night in the forest?”

Whenever I notice that pattern of useless thoughts, I take a moment to stop and take in my surroundings, letting the silence comfort me. Sometimes it works well, sometimes not so much.

2:40 PM. At 4.5 kilometers, I take a 15-minute break to give myself some damage-control self-talk. I’m familiar with such moods, but aware that the difficult terrain makes this one extra tricky. I remind myself: nobody forced me to go on this hike — this was my decision. Even if it turns out to only be an unpleasant experience, it’s still an experience I chose. I remind myself it’s okay if this day turns out badly, and that every challenge is valuable. And there’s still time. I close my eyes and take in the perfect silence. There is no sound but my breath.

A few shoulder stretches and a couple of energizing snacks later, I feel a little steadier. But I know the challenge won’t vanish; keeping this mindset will require work for the hours ahead.

🍃 Part V – Jazz And A High Chance of Cloudy Thoughts

3:00 PM. Today is clearly not a day to embrace silence – a realization that hits me while my thoughts continue to provide a rough symphony to my steps. I seek comfort in my Spotify daylist, which decides it’s time to bless me with some jazz. SURE! I’ll take anything.

Panoramic view of my terrain

With music coming out the pocket of my trouser, I continue navigating the Sörmlandsleden, following the faint voice of Komoot that only works sporadically. The trail winds through trees, orange markings guiding me, moss-covered stones underfoot, challenging every step.

The route is marked by orange circles around tree bark

Using the hiking poles has become intuitive and automatic by now. I find comfort in the support they provide and silently thank my past self for buying the poles at the last minute, one day before leaving. While reviewing everything, I realized with a face-palm that I forgot to buy hiking poles. In the comfort of my home, exhausted from the workweek, that little voice in my head almost won: “Ah, let’s just risk it.” Luckily, I didn’t take that risk. I still shudder at the idea that I’d be climbing up this rocky terrain without the poles. My knees would’ve rebelled immediately.

Get what I mean by rocky terrain?

Every 300 meters or so, I take a short five-minute break to lay down the backpack, rest my shoulders, eat some nuts. I put on a timer, so as not to lose track of my strict schedule. I feel tired, and the situation is frustrating. The time pressure prevents me from slowing down and enjoying my surroundings or enjoying a proper meal. But the most frustrating thing: I’m still too slow for my actual plan. The humid, slightly windy air strains my breathing, but there’s no choice but to continue onward. And so I do, trying to find solace in the beautiful surrounding.

Surrounded by thousands of trees
Yes, I did walk in the wrong direction at first…

Every once in a while, I find a pair of wooden boards laid over puddles (or sometimes “mini-swamp” is more like it). A small aid to help hikers cross over without getting wet. The boards, however, eaten by water and humidity, are soft and unstable, usually only one at a time sturdy enough to cross. I balance carefully, knees shaking under the weight of my backpack, but making it through. Thank you, yoga mornings – at least a small win. But adrenaline spikes anyway.

One example of wooden boards spanned over the water
Water to cross over
This chunk of soil, attached to a fallen tree,
tricked me into believing it’s a bear from the distance at least five times

3:54 PM. Extremely freaking exhausted, I claim a longer break atop another stoney hill. With a big sigh, I collapse onto my backpack, allowing my body to rest fully. With a metal fence on my left, and endless trees, moss and stone on my right, I stare into the sky. Breathe. Slow, heavy breaths. Yes, I’m slower than expected, but I’ll somehow make it.

My break spot
View through the fence

To my surprise, the clouds part and the sun emerges gently. Even now, in such a moment of exhaustion, this simple sight comforts me and gives me a small boost of energy. I look forward to capturing the trees bathed in light, though all my body can think of right now is: WARM BED. MASSAGE. NEVER DO THIS TO ME AGAIN.

Reluctantly, I strap the backpack back on, push myself upright, and step forward. Knees in pain, lungs heavy, I continue the hike, looking past the protest of my body toward the trail ahead.

🍃 Part VI – That Forest Might Be Comfortable For The Night, No?

05:00 PM. The sun lights up the forest in golden hues, comforting me slightly, reminding me to look ahead and keep believing I’ll make it. Despite the exhaustion through my legs and the slow crawl of a bad mood, I still find myself stopping every so often to take in the beautiful scenery around me – a few short breaths of calm between all that effort. In the end, why am I doing this if I don’t give myself this chance? I ask myself, standing in the middle of a heathland beneath a giant transmission tower that hums quietly above me.

A few steps later, a wide puddle of water interrupts the path. Damn. No wooden boards to cross it, no way around. I decide to balance my way along the stones at the edge of it. It looks doable. I tell myself: you can do this, as long as there’s something solid to step on. Carefully, I start inching forward, holding onto the stones, pretending to be some spontaneous climber version of myself. It works — until it doesn’t. The walkable stones suddenly disappear, and I spot a small mound of soil in the puddle that looks firm enough. I take the leap, swing my left foot onto it, and immediately realize: that was a mistake. The ground sinks beneath me. My foot plunges into the muddy softness. Oh no.

Post-accident documentation of the accident :D

Luckily, my shoes are water-resistant enough that my socks stay mostly dry. Still, the incident gives a heavy blow to my mood. I try to clean off the shoe with a tissue, but my patience is wearing thin. Eleven kilometers down, fifteen still ahead. Sigh.

Once the worst of the mud is removed, I move on. The forest thickens around me again and moss covers every stone. Golden-greenish colors surround me, as the sun shines through the trees. Then, in the distance — I suddenly spot movement. A different color. People! With a closer look, I realize it’s the same group of guys I saw earlier. Oh, what a relief! It’s one of those moments I know well from other hikes — when the simple sight of other humans feels like the universe is handing you a bit of courage. You’re not alone. Someone else is walking this same path. And even better – I’m not much slower than them.

I try to keep them in sight, but they vanish behind the trees after a few minutes. Ten more minutes pass without a trace. How could this be? I start wondering if I hallucinated them out of sheer willpower — a small mirage to keep myself going. Who knows at this point…

05:32 PM. I reach a wooden shelter overlooking a small lake. The sun filters through the trees, giving the water that late-summer glow that always looks otherworldly. I walk towards it and just stand there. I come to terms with the realization that the sun will set long before I’ve reached my destination. There’s no way of denying this anymore. The only control I have is how quickly I can keep moving. I really don’t want to be inside the forest when night comes — I’m not experienced with this, and I can already feel myself shudder at the idea of walking through spiderwebs that shall be manifesting in the coming two hours.

The shelter I seriously considered spending the night in

For a brief moment, I wonder if spending the night here could be an option. The place looks calm, safe even. I don’t have a tent, but I have my emergency blanket, something that could pass as a pillow, food, water-cleansing tablets, and a lake shimmering right there. It’s tempting — until I picture how dark it will get. How alone it will feel. How I’d have to walk again tomorrow with no nearby bus, no road, no taxi to call. And my phone’s already attached to the portable charger and won’t make it through another hike tomorrow without a charge. I do have physical maps, but no… it’s just too risky. There’s really no way but forward.

I sit down for ten minutes, eat a few snacks, and remind myself of something that’s saved me many times before: It’s a matter of willpower. Pain is just pain. I can make it despite the pain. I can feel pain, but still keep going.

At 05:45 PM, I do a quick stretch and continue.

🍃 Part VII – The Trees That Finally Broke My Cool

05:55 PM. My energy is surprisingly steady, as I keep going. I’m at 13.5 kilometers now, walking at a decent pace. The forest still holds enough light to comfort me, and I try to focus on the music playing softly from my packet. Spotify has decided that hip-hop is what I need for the evening. Sure. Why not.

Then, I reach a crossroads — the Sörmlandsleden, my official route, continues to the left, while another trail, the Blå leden, veers off to the right. Both seem about the same distance, but the Sörmlandsleden leads downhill and along the water, so I decide to stay loyal to the plan.

A few steps later, something shifts. The forest thickens around me, the air growing heavy and dark. My eyes start to strain against the dim light and humidity, but I try to stay calm, one step at a time. Then I see it: three fallen trees lying across the path. Fuck.

I still remembered to take a photo for this blog…
*pats herself on the shoulders*

I climb over them slowly, every movement feeling like it costs ten steps’ worth of energy. Then another tree appears, surrounded by a chaos of dead branches. And further ahead — more. The path is littered with fallen trunks.

There aren’t really words for that moment. A deep wave of hopelessness just rolls through me. I stop, press my hands over my eyes, and let out a few small tears — half anger, half surrender. What the fuck do I do now?

Continuing feels impossible. I’m at 14 kilometers, with another eleven to go. If the rest of the trail looks like this, I won’t make it. And the thought of walking back uphill to the Blå leden makes me want to collapse right here among the branches.

I stand there for a while, quietly furious. I had checked the official Sörmlandsleden website before coming here — no mention of fallen trees, no sign of this mess. This isn’t some recent storm damage. How irresponsible is this?

Eventually, I take a moment to accept what I’ve been avoiding: This sucks. And I can’t do this alone anymore. My thoughts are too heavy, looping in anger and doubt, and I need an anchor. So, with reluctance and relief in equal parts, I call someone I trust. It feels like a small defeat — this is supposed to be my solo hike — but also like an act of sanity.

As soon as I hear a familiar friendly voice, I start talking fast, ranting, letting it all out. “I still have fourteen kilometers to walk, and I’m tired, I hate this, and none of this is worth it. Everyone told me I have to go to Sweden, I have to go to Sweden, but it’s not even that different from Germany! I fucking hate this.”

And within seconds, the pressure eases. I did the right thing. The weight in my chest begins to dissolve. I’m not alone anymore — at least not in the ways that matter. The thoughts that have been pacing in circles finally quiet down. My body still feels resistant to continue with every step, but I have no choice but to go on.

So, with a supportive voice on the line, I start walking back up the hill. Every step is a prayer — that the next path, the other path, will be kinder.

🍃 Part VIII – A Night Walk Nobody Asked For

06:30 PM. It’s getting darker, fast. Luckily, the Blå leden turns out to be much friendlier — familiar mossy stones, soft forest ground, a rhythm my body remembers. The sound of someone else’s voice in my ear helps work wonders, tugging me gently away from my spiral of bad thoughts. And slowly, my energy starts returning, and I find my arms swinging the poles with something close to enthusiasm again.

The last bit of sun

I stop to check my map, searching for an alternative route — something more open, less forested, even if it adds distance. I’d rather walk an extra hour than stumble through the dark forest, waving a flashlight at spiderwebs and fallen trees. Nope to that.

06:50 PM. Relief washes over me as I reach a gravel path. It adds another kilometer, but I’ll gladly pay that price. There’s still a faint shimmer of light left — maybe twenty percent — and around nine kilometers to go. Although with every step doubt lingers like a shadow at my heels, I hold tightly onto the belief that I can make it.

07:30 PM. Relief hits me again as the gravel turns to asphalt. An actual road. Who would’ve thought I’d ever be so happy to see cars? It’s another detour, another two kilometers added, but it beats walking through the forest in the dark. The sky has faded to its last thread of blue, maybe five percent light left. Cars pass occasionally, their headlights feeling surreal, like brief, alien visits.

I realize I’ve never done this before — walking alone in the dark. I’ve always wanted to try it, but definitely not like this. I tell myself it’s an experience, at least — a story in the making — but the thought lands flat. Everything hurts. My body feels like it’s running on reserve battery mode.

I decide that if a car stops and offers help, I’ll say yes. But none do. Not one slows down. Do I look like I know what I’m doing? I wonder. Probably. And truthfully, the thought of stopping someone makes me uncomfortable. Unless I collapse right here and my legs refuse to get up again, I won’t ask. I chose this path; I chose the risk. Being tired, angry, and sore is part of the deal. And even through all that, I still believe I’ll make it — angry, sad, exhausted, yes — but I’ll make it.

08:00 PM. Seven kilometers to go. I try to comfort myself: this is just like walking across Berlin. Easy. I’ve done that before. Just not with twenty-one kilometers already behind me, and a mountain for a backpack. Still, doable. This is just a walk across Berlin – I try to make it my mantra.

By now, the sky is ninety-nine percent dark, the last one percent borrowed from the stars. There are no streetlights here. I turn on my phone’s flashlight — both to see the ground and to signal to occasionally passing cars that I exist. My clothes have nothing reflective, so this tiny rectangle of light becomes my lifeline.

The trees look utterly different in the light of a flashlight. There’s nothing serene about them now — no dreamy moss, no magical sunlight glow. They’re skeletal, distorted, shifting shapes in the beam. There’s nothing poetic about them in this light. It feels like a horror film I accidentally wandered into. I try to focus on the road, but every few meters a road sign catches the light and flashes back at me — and for a second I think it’s a person. My heart jolts. Breathe, I tell myself. Breathe.

09:00 PM. Three kilometers left. It’s hard to describe the exhaustion coursing through me — it’s not just physical anymore. It’s something deeper, a full-body protest. Somewhere, far in the rational part of my mind, I know this will turn into a story I’ll value later, when it’s just a memory. But right now, it’s pure torment, a slow-motion test of will. I’ve been walking for two and a half hours straight, trapped in the loop of just keep going. I know if I stop, my legs will refuse to lift again.

Every little sound sharpens my nerves. A sudden rustle, a shape in the dark — everything sends a jolt of adrenaline through me. My energy is strained to the maximum, all of it channeled into movement and fear management. And my mind, being unhelpfully creative, starts digging up every horror movie I’ve ever seen, filling the night with imaginary monsters.

Still, I walk.

🍃 Part IX – The Longest Kilometer Of My Life

09:30 PM. One kilometer to go. The darkness of the trees has vanished, and I find myself beneath a vast, star-filled sky. It’s calm. I take a moment to stop, to grasp that I’m here, still standing upright, and to feel the awe of what’s above me. The pain in my joints is unbearable, but for a fleeting instant, I feel hugged by the serenity that surrounds me. It’s just me. The silence. The night. Thousands of stars shimmering, unaffected by my complaining self. A sight I’d neither see in Berlin nor in Cairo. And even though I’m in pain, there’s a flicker of gratitude.

09:45 PM. 600 meters left. With tears held back, I walk. A distance so small, compared to the rest of the trip, yet so cruelly infinite. Each micro-movement screams pain. My body has turned into one long ache, the last 5% of my energy is fully employed in this desperate choreography of walking. Almost there, I tell myself. Just keep going.

09:50 PM. Thousands of trees have swallowed me again. Darkness presses in from all sides. But thankfully, the gravel path is wide and well-maintained. I know the cabin sits by a lake, hiding somewhere in this quiet maze. Then in the distance, I see some faint lights. As I approach, I spot small, round lightbulbs strung along a fence.

My navigation shows I’m fifty meters away, but I don’t see anything. Then I realize I’ve fallen victim to my favorite rookie mistake once again: putting a “vague” pin as a destination, instead of the exact address. With a frustrated sigh, I adjust the destination, and with a very relieved sigh, I realize the cabin is only another 200 meters further…

09:55 PM. I can definitely recognize I’m at the campsite now, but I don’t spot a single person. Limping between wooden structures and vans, I notice how every bit of patience is long gone. I’m dying to lay down. As even the motion of reaching for my phone hurts, I try to find the cabin based on my vague memory of the Airbnb photos. I spot a small cabin that looks somewhat familiar — wooden, with stairs, maybe it’s this one. I climb up, whispering apologies to my knees with every step. But at the door: no lockbox. I shine my flashlight through the window, peering in like a desperate person. Definitely the wrong one. And luckily empty.

And then — something brushes hard against my leg. I jump back, heart in my throat, only to find… a friendly orange cat. Just seeking some attention.
“Oh, hello there…” I manage, half chuckling, half in shock. It rubs against my shin again, purring like it knows I needed this tiny distraction. I bow down for a second to pet it and let myself be comforted by its fluffiness, before apologetically dragging myself down the stairs once more.

10:00 PM. And there it is. The right cabin.
A Swedish flag hanging proudly from its balcony. My final landmark.

I climb up again — slowly, apologizing aloud to my joints. I punch in the code, open the lockbox, and when the key falls into my hand, I nearly cry. The door opens on the first try. And there, standing in the warm light of the cabin, I hang up the phone with a grateful heart, throw my backpack to the ground, let myself fall on the couch, and just lay there for what feels like eternity.

“I’ve made it.”

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🍃 If you’ve read this far, thank you — truly. I know this day was heavier and darker than most of my hikes, maybe even difficult to read at times. But growth and self-discovery are a big part of why I walk and put myself in challenging conditions, and that means learning to accept that not every trail is made of sunlight. And since honesty is the ground I try to write from, softening this story or polishing it into something neater would have felt wrong. But looking back, these experiences are always the ones that leave the deepest trace, the life learnings, the ones that quietly shift something inside me — so it’s with gratitude that I’ve written this chapter.

I promise the next ones will come with calmer skies and even some sunshine. 🌞

Thank you for walking with me — I’d love to hear what you think. 🙌

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Quick view of hike stats:

🥾 Distance hiked: 27.9 km
⏱️ Time in motion: 7h 12 min
🏃🏻‍♀️ Average speed: 3.9 km/h
⛰️ Elevation hiked: 370 m

More detailed stats on Komoot (click on the photo to go to route):

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The next post shall be up in 2-3 weeks – stay tuned!

🖼️ If you liked the photos and would like a print or to use any of them as a wallpaper, please feel free to reach out to me! 🫶

💛 If you enjoyed reading my daydreams and would like to support me or express a small thank you, maybe you’d like to buy me a coffee? ☕ I LOVE coffee, and be assured it’s a guaranteed way to give me a BIG moment of happiness. ☺️ 💁🏻‍♀️

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«وبعدين… لقيت نفسي في السويد»

٨ أيام من المشي والأحلام والتوهان في السويد (اليوم الثاني)

أهلاً بيكم يا جماعة في بوست جديد عن رحلة المشي اللي عملتها في السويد في سبتمبر ٢٠٢٥!

بوست النهارده بيحكي عن اليوم التاني من الرحلة — يوم كان مليان تحديات، ومعاه كمان كام عاصفة نفسية كده على الهادي. يمكن ماكانش أزهى فصل في المشوار، بس كان جزء من الرحلة، وكان يستاهل إنّي أحكيه بصراحة زي ما حصل.
فارتاحوا، وخدوا نفس، واستمتعوا… وإضحكوا براحتكم على الفوضى اللي كنت عايشة فيها. 😁

(مدة القراءة تقريباً: ٣٥ دقيقة)


٢٠ سبتمبر ٢٠٢٥ – اليوم الثاني
(رحلة المشي من يارنا لغنيستا)

🍃 الجزء الأول – معركة السنووز الشهيرة

الساعة ٥:٣٠ الصبح. نغمة موبايل اسمها “By The Seaside” بتحاول تصحيني بحنية — بس مفيش فايدة. طول ما مافيش بحر حقيقي قدام الشباك، مش هتنجح. سنووز.

٥:٣٩. تاني محاولة. بدأت أبص حولي بعين واحدة مفتوحة… الدنيا لسه ضلمة وسقعة جداً. فكرة إني أطلع من تحت البطانية الدافية دي شبه مستحيلة. سنووز تاني.

المعركة دي كملت حوالي عشرين دقيقة كمان، لحد ما الساعة جت ٦:٠٠ وأنا أخيرًا بطرح على نفسي السؤال اللي على حظي دايمًا بسأله في الوقت الصح:
هو انتي فعلاً عايزة تمشي ٢٥ كيلومتر النهارده من غير فطار كويس وتمارين الصبح؟ وعايزة كمان يفوتك القطر؟
الوقت بيجري…
حاضر حاضر! قمت أهو خلاص.

قعدت على طرف السرير وأنا بحاول أجمع أفكاري، بعدين قمت ومشيت ناحية الشباك عشان أشوف منظر الفجر بره اللي متأكدة إنه هيبقى تحفة. بس أول ما حركت الستارة… ولا تحفة ولا حاجة. الإزاز كله مليان ندى مش باين من وراه حاجة غير تراس مضلم جداً. وبطرف عيني شايفة كام عنكبوت عايم في طرف الشباك.… لأ خلاص، نخلي الستارة مقفولة أحسن.

كوباية قهوة سخنة وشوية شوفان دافيين ظبطوا المود. الوقت بيجري، فبدأت أعمل كل حاجة في نفس الوقت: شوية ألبس، شوية أعمل تمارين، شوية أرتب الحاجة وأحاول أظبط شنطتي بأكتر شكل منظم ممكن عقلي اللي نصه نايم في الساعة دي يتخيله. كله استعداد لرحلة القطر والمشي الطويل اللي مستنييني.

وأنا خلاص بخلص، أخدت نفس وراجعت الخطة في دماغي: كمان شوية همشي لمحطة تريلبورغ المركزية، آخد أول قطر لمالمو، بعدين قطر تاني لسودرتاليا، وبعدين قطر ثالث ليارنا. ومن هناك هبدأ المشي ٢٥ كيلومتر لحد كوخ في الغابة في منطقة اسمها غنيستا. مجهود؟ أكيد… بس متحمسة جدًا للمغامرة اللي قدامي!

رجعت أفتح الستارة تاني — المشهد بقى أفتح شوية، بس لسه مغيم ومش واضح. شلت الشنطة على ضهري، لبست الجزمة، وودعت المكان اللي احتواني في هذه الليلة القصيرة.

الساعة ٦:٣٥. وأنا خارجة، سمعت كلب أصحاب المكان بيهوهو علي وهو بيعافر… تمام، لطيف قوي.

بس أول ما رجلي لمست الشارع، حسيت إن المكان خلاص بقى ورايا بأميال. الدنيا ساكتة بطريقة هدتني جداً، والهوا فيه ريحة الصباح الباردة المنعشة، والسما بدأت تاخد لون وردي خفيف. أخدت نفس عميق، وحسيت براحة وسعادة بسيطة إني هنا.

منظر الشارع الصبح

الشوارع عاملة زي مشهد من فيلم American Beauty — عارف/ة الفيلم؟ بيوت صغيرة ظريفة، كل بيت عنده جنينة متزينة بعناية. شارع طويل، فيه شجر مرصوص على الجنبين، هادي، فيه سلام.

٧:١٣. بعد كام لفة غير مُخططة وكام لحظة قلق صغيرة، وصلت أخيرًا للمحطة. Google Maps قررت توديني في شوارع مقفولة للتصليح، فاضطريت أجري شوية عشان ألحق أوصل. لكن أول ما وصلت اكتشفت إن عندي سبع دقايق كاملين فاضيين. كسبت التحدي!

وطبعاً اتبسط إني لقيت وقت كافي أصور لقطة شروق الشمس وهي بتترسم على عربيات القطر.

الساعة ٧:٢٠. قعدت في ركن مريح والقطر اتحرك في ميعاده بالظبط. القطر شبه فاضي، مفيش غيري أنا واتنين ركاب تانيين.

قعدت أتفرج على الحقول وهي لونها بيقلب دهبي وهي بتعدي من قدامي، ملفوفة بضباب الصباح ونور الشمس الدافي. منظر هادي ومريح.

فضلت أراجع خطة اليوم تاني وتالت في دماغي أتأكد إن تذاكر القطر المعايا مظبوطة. مشرف القطر عدى بعد كام دقيقة وطلب يشوف أول تذكرة. ابتسم وقال “tack” — يعني شكراً بالسويدي — مع ابتسامة صغيرة كده، بس كفاية عشان تطمني إن التذكرة صح. دلوقتي ممكن أستريح شوية.

🍃 الجزء التاني – في الطريق وفي أفكاري

٧:٥٢ الصبح. بعد اتنين وتلاتين دقيقة، وصلنا مالمو، ولقيت نفسي في محطة أول ما شفتها عرفت فورًا إني دخلت مدينة كبيرة. مشيت ورا شوية ركاب على السلم الكهربائي، ولما طلعت فوق، دخلت فجأة في موجة من مئات الناس ماشين في كل اتجاه.

كنت عارفة إني مش هيبقى عندي وقت أقف أشتري مياه بعدين في يارنا، فدخلت أول محل خدمات شُفته في طريقي، وبطريقة عشوائية اشتريت تلات زجاجات مياه وموزة. قلت لنفسي عمري ما هيبقى معايا مياه بالزيادة.

بعد خمس دقايق، دخلت القطر ولقيت الكرسي اللي حاجزاه بسهولة. حشرت الشنطة قدامي وسلّمت على إعلان سويدي هيقعد يبحلق في وشي الخمس ساعات الجايين، واتفرجت على الرصيف وهو بيبعد وإحنا بادئين الرحلة بالضبط الساعة ٨:٠٧.

قعدتي للخمس ساعات الجيين

جو القطر كان هادي ومريح – كل الناس يا نايمة يا بتقرا. وأنا بقى صحصحت خلاص، فقررت آخد لحظة أتأمل في كل اللي حوليّ: شاب قاعد في الكراسي اللي جنبي الناحية التانية، مسحول في كتاب، حافي ورافع رجله على الكرسي القصاده. قدامي زوجين لطاف قاعدين ساندين راسهم على بعض. بعد شوية، البنت شافت الكراسي اللي الشاب فارد رجله عليها فاضية وقامت تمدد هناك وكملت نومها.

الشمس داخلة من الشباك بنور دافي دهبي مهدئ للأعصاب كده… وأنا كمان مدّيت رجلي على الكرسي اللي جنبي (مافيش حد قاعد، يا سلام!) وشغلت كتابي المسموع اللي بحب كلامه: The Disappearance of the Universe للكاتب Gary Renard. صوته ومواضيعه الفلسفية عن الوعي والكون ملوا الجو بسكون جميل. كنت بضحك في سري على التوقيت والمكان الغريب اللي لاقيت نفسي فيه – بفكر في الكون وأنا محاطة بناس ماعرفهاش، وكل حاجة ساكتة ومسالمة. دخلت في حالة تأمل كده، كإني بشحن نفسي تاني… لحد ما بعد كذا محطة، دخل ميت راكب/ة مرة واحدة وراح الهدوء خلاص!

١١:١٥. حركة القطر بدأت تخليني أحس بدوخة بسيطة، فقررت أقوم أتمشى لحد الكافيه أدوّر على حاجة تصحيني — كوباية قهوة طبعًا. بعد كام عربية ومجهود في حفظ التوازن في الممر، وطابور عشر أشخاص محشورين في ممر عرضه متر، رجعت ماسكة كنز: رول حمص وكوباية قهوة سخنة. كلت وشربت بشكر وامتنان أول ما رجعت مكاني.

بصيت برة ولقيت الشمس اختفت والسما غيمت… حاجة خيبت أملي شوية بالنسبه للمشي اللي مستنيني، بس فضلت متفائلة. الأرصاد الجوية قالت الجو هيتحسن بعدين. اللي ما كنتش عارفاه إن دي كانت أهون مشكلة مستنياني في الساعات القادمة.

١٢:١٢ الظهر. على حظي سمعت صوت الإعلان في القطر بيقول حاجة بالسويدي، وأنا بالصدفة لمحت كلمة سودرتاليا. إزاي كنت هفوت المحطة؟! يا عالهبل …

في التلات دقايق اللي فاضلين، لمّيت كل حاجة بسرعة — السماعات، رول الحمص، التلات زجاجات المية اللي اشتريتهم تلقائياً، والموزة — ولبست الجاكيتات بالترتيب اللي كنت مخططاه.

الساعة ١٢:١٥ بقيت واقفة على رصيف محطة سودرتاليا — أخيراً وصلت! ودلوقتي لازم أدور على القطر البعده…

المنظر عند وصولي سودرتاليا

🍃 الجزء التالت – بداية بطيئة كبيرة

المحطة كانت صغيرة، فيها كام شخص كده متوزع في كل مكان والجو كله نَعسان شوية. اكتشفت إني عشان ألاقي القطر اللي بعده الموضوع أصعب من ما توقعت. اللافتات مش مساعداني، والأبليكيشن مش موريني القطر هيقوم من أنهي رصيف. حتى الشاشات ما كانش عليها رقم القطر اللي مكتوب عندي… هل أنا في المحطة الغلط؟

بصيت حوليَّ وبحاول أدور على حد أسأله، بس ماكانش فيه حد شكله ودود كفاية — ولا فيه مكتب استعلامات. فقط محل خدمات تاني… يووه!
وكمان أخدت بالي من اتنين رجالة مبحلقين في بنظرة نصها سخرية، فأخدت الإشارة إنّي أروح أي مكان تاني… بس مفضلش واقفة هنا.

وأخيرًا، لمحت يفطة صغيرة مستخبية آخر المحطة مكتوب عليها Pendeltåg (قطر رحلات مستمرة). بالظبط اللي كنت بدوّر عليه! مشيت ورا اليفطة في ممر طويل، وبعده سلم كهربائي أطول بكتير، نزلني على رصيف مفتوح مستخبي تحت.
أكيد هو ده… أيوا هو! ،القطر لسة مش هيوصل قبل تمانية وعشرين دقيقة… تمام!

المسار في سودرتاليا

لحظة خطر في بالي إني أروح مشي — هي محطة واحدة بس. بس نظرة سريعة على كوموت (الأبليكيشن البستخدمه لتحديد اتجاهي) قالتلي: لأ، يا فندم. خلينا نستنى لو سمحتي…
دول أربعة كيلومتر. ساعة كاملة مشي. مش مستاهلة. مش مستاهلة خاااالص قبل الخمسة وعشرين كيلومتر اللي مستنّيينّي.
فقررت أقعد وأتدرّب على الصبر.

قعدت وسبت هدوء ما قبل المشي يغمرني. فضلت أسمع الأصوات الصغيرة اللي حولي — ورق الشجر وهو بيتهز مع الهوا، إعلان صوتي كل شوية يتردد مع وصول كل قطر، وصوت الراكبة الوحيدة المستنية غيري وهي بتكلم حد في التليفون. راجعت خط سيري النهارده في دماغي، وقلت أمنية كده في صمت إن الطريق مايبقاش صعب زي ما أنا متوقعة.

بس هو بالفعل هيكون صعب، أو عالأقل أصعب من أي طريق مشيته قبل كده — ٢٥ كيلومتر ومعاهم ٤٠٠ متر ارتفاع. واللي ما كنتش واخدة بالي منه وأنا بحجز: الشمس دلوقتي بتغرب الساعة ٧:٠٠ بالليل.
في ألمانيا، لما كنت بطلع على رحلات مشي زي دي في أول سبتمبر، كان عندي ساعة كاملة زيادة من النور. الفرق ده يمكن يبان بسيط… بس النهاردة؟ لأ، ده ممكن يخلّي اليوم… مغامرة.
خلّينا نقول مغامرة.

المنظر قدامي وأنا مستنية القطر وبراجع خطة اليوم

الساعة ١:٠١ الظهر. صوت الإعلان في المحطة كرر للمرة الرابعة إن القطر على وشك الوصول. قال الجملة دي كل دقيقة خلال الأربع دقايق اللي فاتوا. وعند الساعة ١:٠٢… وصل فعلاً.

ركبت، ولاحظت بسعادة إن القطر فاضي وفيه مساحة كبيرة للقعاد. مع إن الرحلة سبع دقايق بس، بس كنت محتاجة أي راحة قبل ما أبدأ المشي. كنت ظبط الشنطة على ضهري بأكتر وضع مريح قدرت ألاقيه… بس طبعاً هي برضه تقيلة. فأول ما لقيت كرسي جنب الباب قعدت، وسِبتها تريح على الكرسي اللي جنبي من غير ما أفكها.

القطر فاضي

الساعة ٠١:٠٩ الظهر. وصلنا يارنا – أخيراً!
هو أنا أخدت قد إيه على ما وصلت هنا؟ يوم ونص تقريبًا لو هاحسب رحلة امبارح.
بس خلاص، أنا هنا دلوقتي.
أخدت نفس عميق وأنا بنزل على الرصيف وبدأت أدوّر على السلم.

الأبليكيشن أشار للناحية اليمين — سلم عالي شكله متعب. ليه سلالم كده من أولها؟ لمحت مطلع على الناحية التانية ومشيت له على أمل إنه يلف بيا ويوصلني على الناحية الالسلم كان هيطلعني عليها… بس لأ.

لقيت نفسي واقفة تحت سما لونها رمادي تقيل، جنب شارع ومحطة أوتوبيس وكام بيت صغير، وفهمت فورًا إنّي لازم أرجع تاني.
لإن المطلع طلع ما بيودّيش لأي حاجة مفيدة؛ والطريق الوحيد للناحية التانية — اللي السلالم كانت هتطلعني ليها — هو إني أطلع على طريق عالي وزحمة وأعدّي عليه. ده لوحده مجهود ٥٠٠ متر.
مفيش مهرب من السلالم.
وبرغم كده، ماقدرتش أمنع نفسي من التفكير:
طب والناس اللي على كراسي متحركة بتعمل إيه؟ بيلفّوا اللفة القاسية دي إزاي؟

وقفت أفكر، ولقيت بنتين بيبصولي باستغراب.
يمكن مستغربين من عصيان المشي المتعلقين في الشنطة… أو من الضفاير… أو من الشنطة نفسها… أو من كل ده مع بعضه مع وشي اللي شكله تايه.
ضحكت بيني وبين نفسي.
إيه موضوع التوهان ده أصلًا؟
ما أنا معايا خطة… بس جزء صغير جوايا كان متردد يبدأ.

فهمت إني محتاجة أجهز نفسياً شوية قبل ما أبدأ.
قربت من دكة قريبة، نَزِلت الشنطة، شربت شوية مية، وقلعت جاكيت الصوف اللي لابساه — الرطوبة كانت عالية، وكنت أكيد هسخن بسرعة.
خليت الموبايل على الصامت. مش عايزة أي إزعاج.
أخدت كام نفس عميق وقعدت أحمس نفسي.
الوقت جِه، الساعة بقت ١:١٥.
لمّيت حاجتي تاني وشلت الشنطة على كتافي، ومشيت في اتجاه السلالم اللي كنت بحاول أهرب منها.

المكان الكنت بجهز فيه نفسياً

🍃 الجزء الرابع – البحث عن الإيقاع المناسب

أول ما دخلت على طريق المشي حسيت بجو المدن الصناعية المعتاد: شوارع واسعة، أرصفة فاضية، مباني تجارية مكررة عليها اعلانات ويافطات بخط شكله وحش. قلت لنفسي إن دي فرصة ممتازة أتدرّب فيها على استخدام عصيان المشي — أول محاولة ليا في حياتي. وبشوية كسوف كده، حاولت ألاقي إيقاع بين إني أبان واثقة من الأنا بعمله وبين إنّي أفهم أنا بعمل إيه… وفشلت فشل كبير.

حاولت أستمد إلهامي من ست كبيرة في السن ماشية ناحيتي، ماسكة عصيان المشي وبتتحرك بسهولة غريبة. بس كانت رافعة أطراف العصيان عند مستوى ودنها… وده ماكانش داخل دماغي خالص. اكتشفت في اللحظة دي إني ماعنديش أي فكرة نظرية عن طريقة الاستخدام أصلاً. كان لازم أشوف فيديو على يوتيوب أو حاجة قبل ما أبتدي… فقررت أشيل العصيان وأرجع لها وقت تاني — مش ناقصة حاجة تعطلني دلوقتي، وكفاية دوشة العربيات اللي ماشية على طول جانبي الملخبطاني.

بعد حوالي كيلومتر ونص، كوموت (الأبليكيشن للتوجيه) وجّهني لمدخل شمال مستخبي وسط زرع كتير. وفجأة… لقيت نفسي على طريق سورملاندسليدن. وكدة أقدر أقول رسمياً إني بدأت المشوار!

المدخل لطريق السورملاندسليدن

مسار سورملاندسليدن دة مسارمخصوص للمشي مسافات طويلة ممتد تقريبًا ألف كيلومتر في منطقة سورملاند جنوب ستوكهولم، ماشي بين محميات طبيعية ومواقع ثقافية. الجزء اللي كنت ماشية عليه كان معظمه ماشي في قلب محميات طبيعية.

وبعد فترة قصيرة، لقيت نفسي بمشي فوق حشيش طويل لونه أخضر فاتح وسط آلاف الشجر. الريحة؟ منعشة، رطبة… وبشكل مضحك — ريحة فطر. قوية جدًا كمان! أخدت نفس عميق بفضول، وضحكت على غرابة اللحظة. ولما الطريق بدأ يطلع لفوق، لقيت إيدي بتمدّ تلقائيًا للعصيان.
وفعلاً، في الجو ده، فهمت إزاي أستخدمهم. وأنا بميل لقدّام وأنا بطلع، كانوا بيسندوني في اللحظات اللي محتاجاهم فيها. وفعلاً اكتشفت إنهم بيساعدوني جامد!

بعد كام خطوة تانية، قابلت مجموعة أربع شباب قاعدين على الحشيش على طرف الطريق، وواحد منهم نصه ممدد على الطريق. لحظة محرجة صغيرة… جهّزت تحية صغيرة، بس ولا حد فيهم بص لي. كانوا مندمجين قوي في كلامهم.
تمام، يمكن أحسن.

كملت وبصيت لقيت الطريق بيتغير: أرض حجرية، أغلبها متغطي بطبقة طحالب تقيلة، وسط مئات الشجر.
وريحة الفطر؟ أقوى وأقوى.
الهوا بقى أرطب، وحمدت نفسي القديمة إنها قالتلي أقلع الجاكيت. وقفت للحظة أسيب عيني تتجوّل في الأخضر الحولي.

واحد من كتير من الفطر العملاق اللي شفته

بعد شوية، وأنا واقفة على كوبري صغير سمعت أصوات. بصّيت ورايا… لقيت نفس الشباب الأربعة جايين ورايا.
هو أنا بطيئة للدرجة دي؟
حاولت أسرّع… بس هما كانوا أسرع بكتير. ولأني هابقى في طريقهم، سبتهم يعدّوا… شكروني بسرعة وكملوا.
ياااه… دول فعلاً سراع! ولا حتى معاهم عصيان.
شيء مبهِر… ومقلق شوية.

الكوبري
المنظر من الكوبري

القلق زاد لما فتحت كومّوت بعد ما حسّيت إني ماشية بقالّي ساعة وكنت متوقعة أشوف إني مشيت مثلاً خمسة كيلومتر…
بس لقيت إني مشيت بس ٣٫٢٥.
ولسة قدامي أكتر من عشرين كيلومتر.

ساعتها كان لازم أعترف لنفسي ان الطريق أصعب من اللي توقعته بكتييير…
الأرض اللي فيها ارتفاعات مبَطَأة خطواتي بشكل عمري ما جربته قبل كده.

ففكّرت نفسي: ركّزي.
صوري أقل.
اعملي استراحات أقصر.
خليكي على سرعة مستمرة.
وأهم حاجة — بلاش تِشُكي في نفسك طول الوقت.

الطريق المستنيني بعد الكوبري

بس جزء “بلاش تشكي في نفسك طول الوقت” كان أصعب حاجة.
دماغي أخدت الجملة دي وكأنها دعوة مفتوحة للهري:

“اليوم ده مش هينجح. كنتي فاكرة إيه؟”
“إنتي مرهقة والشنطة تقيلة. تخطيط فاشل.”
“مش دي الرحلة اللي كنتي مستنياها بقالِك شهور؟ فين المتعة؟”
وأسوأ واحدة:
“ولو ماوصلتيش؟ هتباتي في الغابة؟”

كل ما ألاحظ الموجة دي، كنت أقف ثواني، أبص حوليّ وأسيب هدوء الطبيعة يلمّني.
أوقات بينفع… وأوقات لأ.

٢:٤٠ العصر. عند ٤٫٥ كيلومتر خدت بريك ١٥ دقيقة، أحاول أجمع قوتي وأهدي نفسي تاني.
أنا عارفة النوع ده من الأيام، بس عارفة برضه إن الطريق الصعب مخلي الموضوغ أكبر من العادي.
فكّرت نفسي بهدوء:
محدّش غصبك. الرحلة كانت اختيارك. ولو طلعت تجربة مزعجة؟ برضه تجربة. وكل تحدّي له قيمة. وكدة كدة لسه في وقت

قفلت عينيّ… وسمعت الصمت.
ماكانش فيه أي صوت… غير الصوت اللي في مخي.

بعد شوية تمارين إطالة للكتفين وأكلة خفيفة، حسّيت إني واقفة على رجليا أحسن.
بس كنت عارفة التحدّي مش هيختفي —
وإن الحفاظ على العقلانية دي… هيشغلني الساعات الجاية.

🍃 الجزء الخامس – حبة موسيقى چاز مع أفكار مغيمة

٣:٠٠ مساءً. واضح جدًا إن ده مش اليوم المناسب للسكوت — اكتشفت ده وأنا ماشيّة وأفكاري عاملة أوركسترا من معركتي الداخلية. فبدأت أدور على أي حاجة تسلّيني وتسَكِت مخي شوية، وسبوتيفاي (أبليكيشن الموسيقى) — كتر خيره — قرر إنه يهديني بشوية موسيقى چاز. ماشي! أي حاجة أحسن من الهدوء ده.

صورة بانوراما من الطريق

والصوت طالع من جيب البنطلون، كملت استكشافي للسورملاندسليدن، متّبعة صوت كوموت الخافت اللي بيشتغل عشوائي… الطريق بيلف ويدور بين الشجر، وعلامات برتقالية حولين الشجر بترشدني، وحجر متغطي بالطحالب تحت رجليّ — كل خطوة فيها تحدّي صغير.

وبقى على الأقل استخدام العصيان حاجة تلقائية خلاص. قعدت أشكر النسخة السابقة من نفسي اللي قررت تشتريهم قبل السفر بيوم. وأنا براجع حاجتي قبل الرحلة من يومين، افتكرت فجأة إني نسيت أشتري عصيان. وكنت خلاص هاسيبهم وأقول: “مش مشكلة خلاص، هنجرب حظنا.” يا ساتر… الحمدلله إني ما عملتش كده. إني أتخيل بس إني أطلع الصخور دي من غير عصيان… ركبتي كانت أعلنت الإضراب رسميًا.

شايفين الطريق مليان حجر إزاي؟

كل ٣٠٠ متر كده، بقيت آخد بريك صغير: أنزل الشنطة، أريح كتافي، آكل شوية مكسرات وأنا ظابطة منبه ٣ دقايق عشان مافقدش السيطرة على الجدول اللي ماشية بيه. للأسف كنت حاسة بتعب شديد. والضغط الزمني مانعني أبطّأ، أو أتفرج حواليّ كويس، أو حتى آكل أكلة محترمة. والأسوأ؟ إني لسه أبطأ من الخطة الأصلية. الهوا الرطب مضايق نفسي، بس مافيش اختيار. لازم أكمل وأكمل. وأحاول أستمتع بمناظر الطبيعة وأنا بحارب الوقت.

محاطة من ألوفات الشجر
أيوا، مشيت في الإتجاه الغلط في الأول…

كل شوية ألاقي لوحين خشب محطوطين فوق بِركة مية، عشان المتجولين يعدّوا من غير ما يتغرقوا. بس اللوحين أصبحوا طريين جداً بسبب الرطوبة والمطر وبيميلوا كده على بعض وأنا بمشي عليهم… واحد ثابت والتاني لأ. بس قدرت كل مرة أعبر وأنا مركزة… شكرًا يا تمارين اليوغا الصباحية يا اللي دايماً بتساعديني في المواقف دي.

مثال للوحين الخشب البحكي عنهم
مياه عديت من فوقها
منظر تاني للوحين الخشب

٣:٥٤ مساء. كنت تعبانة بشكل سخيف، فقررت آخد بريك أطول فوق تل حجري تاني. رميت نفسي على الشنطة ومديت جسمي كله كأن الأرض هتبلعني. على شمالي سور معدني، ويميني غابة لا تنتهي من شجر وطحالب وحجر. بصيت للسماء. أخدت نفس بعمق. ببطء. آه، أنا أبطأ من اللي توقعته… بس واثقة إني هأوصل. بطريقة ما.

مكان الراحة بتاعي
المنظر من وسط السور

وبعدين — مفاجأة — السحاب بدأ يختفي وآشعة شمس دافية بدأت تطلّ عليّ. حتى وأنا في الحالة دي، المنظر قدر يطبطب عليّ ويديني زقّة طاقة صغيرة. بدأت أتخيل الصور اللي ممكن آخدها والنور لامس الشجر… بس جسمي كله بيصرخ: سرير دافي. مساج. ومن فضلك متعمليش في كده تاني…

بإرهاق شديد… لبست الشنطة تاني. ووقفت نفسي بالعافية وكملت مشي. ركبي بتوجعني ونفسي تقيل، وجسمي معترض… بس عيني على الطريق اللي قدّامي.

🍃 الجزء السادس – طب ما يمكن الغابة تبقى لطيفة للبيات… ولا إيه؟

٥:٠٠ مساء. الشمس ملوّنة الغابة بدرجات دهبي دافئة، بتحاول تطبطب عليّ شوية وتفكرّني أبص قدّامي وأصدّق إني لسه ممكن أوصل. رغم الإرهاق اللي ماسك في رجليّ والمود اللي بيهبّط على مهله، برضه لقيت نفسي كل شوية واقفة بأبص حواليا… آخد نفسين قصيرين وسط كل المجهود ده وأنا بسأل نفسي: طب ما أنا ليه بعمل كل ده لو مش هدّي لنفسي فرصة أتفرج على المنظر الحولي؟ .

بعد كام خطوة تانية، لقيت بِركة مية عريضة قاطعة الطريق. ياه للسخافة… مفيش ألواح خشب، مفيش طريق أقدر أمشي عليه. قررت أمشي على الحجارة اللي على الأطراف. شكلها ممكن تنفع. قلت لنفسي: هتقدري… طول ما في حاجة ثابتة تحطي عليها رجلك.

بدأت أتقدّم بحذر، ماسكة في الحجارة كأني متسلّقة واثقة من نفسها — وفعلاً الموضوغ مشي… لحد ما ممشيش. فجأة الحجارة القابلة للمشي اختفت، وشفت كُومة أرض كدة صغيرة طالعة من نص البِركة شكلها ثابت. فأخدت نطة صغيرة، ودبيت رجلي الشمال فيها… وللأسف: غلطة كبيرة. الأرض غاصت برجلي ولقيتها غرقانة بطين. يا خبر!

صورة للبركة ولرجلي بعد الحادثة

الحمدلله الجزمة متصممة ضدّ المية فشرابي ما اتبلش غير شوية بسيطة. بس الموقف… خبّط في مودي أكتر. حاولت أنضّف الطينة بمناديل، بس صبري ومعنوياتي خلاص بيودعوني. مشيت ١١ كيلومتر… ولسه فاضل ١٥ قدّامي. يا رب.

أول ما شلت معظم الطينة، كمّلت مشي. الغابة رجعت تكثّف نفسها حواليّا، وكل الحجرما زال متغطّى بطحالب، ولون أخضر دهبي منتشر في كل اتجاه. وفجأة — شفت حركة. حاجة لونها مختلف.إيه ده، دول بني آدمين! مشيت أسرع عشان أقرب واكتشفت إنهم نفس الشباب اللي شفتهم قبل كده. يا سلام! اللحظة دي أعرفها كويس من رحلات قبل كده — لما مجرد رؤية بشر تانيين تحسّسني إني مش لوحدي والطريق مكمل تمام. وكمان إتطمنت لما شفت اني مش أبطأ منهم أوي…

حاولت أفضل شايفاهم… بس اختفوا وسط الشجر بعد دقيقتين. وحتى بعد عشر دقايق ما عدوا ملقتلهمش أثر. إزاي؟ بدأت أتساءل… هل كنت مثلاً بتخيّلهم؟ من كتر ما نفسيتي محتاجاهم؟ بهلوس يعني؟ مقدرش أستبعد…

٥:٣٢ مساء. وصلت لملجأ خشب صغير بيبص على بُحيرة. الشمس طالعة بين الشجر ومِدِية للمية اللمعة اللي شكلها دايمًا كأنها من عالم تاني. قربت ووقفت على طرف الشط. واستوعبت الحقيقة اللي حاولت أهرب منها طول الوقت: الشمس هتغرب قبل ما أوصل. بكتييير. خلاص. مافيش إنكار. الحاجة الوحيدة اللي أقدر أتحكم فيها هي سرعتي. إن أنا أحاول ألاقي طريق برة الغابة أمشي فيه لما الليل ينزل. ماعنديش خبرة كفاية أمشي في الغابة بالليل… وكمان جسمي بيرتعش من فكرة شبك العنكبوت اللي هيتكوّن خلال الساعتين الجايين.

ملجأ الخشب الفكرت أبيت فيه

وللحظة صغيرة… سألت نفسي: طب ما ممكن أبيت هنا؟ المكان هادي. آمن. معنديش خيمة، بس عندي بطانية طوارئ، حاجة تمشي كمخدة، أكل، أقراص تنقية مياه، وبحيرة قدامي. الفكرة مغرية… لحد ما تخيلت الدنيا بجد هتكون ضلمة إزاي. والهدوء. وإني بكرة هاضطر أكمل مشي تاني… مفيش أوتوبيس قريب ولا طريق ولا تاكسي. وتليفوني أصلاً راكب على الشاحن المحمول دلوقتي ومش هيكمل يوم تاني. معايا خرائط ورقية آه… بس لأ. مخاطرة كبيرة. مفيش حل غير… إني أكمل.

قعدت عشر دقايق، آكل سناكس، وأفكّر نفسي بحاجة أنقذتني كتير قبل كده:
الموضوع إرادة. الألم… ألم. بس مش نهاية. أقدر أكمل وأنا موجوعة. أقدر أحس بالألم وأكمل مشي.

٥:٤٥ مساء. مديت ضهري بسرعة، أخدت نفس… وكملت.

🍃 الجزء السابع – الشجر اللي قدر يكسر هدوئي

٥:٥٥ مساء. طاقتي كانت ثابتة بشكل غير متوقع وأنا مكملة في المشي. كنت وصلت لحوالي ١٣،٥ كيلومتر. سرعتي معقولة. الغابة كان فيها نور كفاية يطمني، وكنت بحاول أركز في المزيكا اللي لسة سمعاها بصوت واطي من جيبي. سبوتيفاي قرر إن الهيب هوب (hip hop) هو اللي محتاجاه دلوقتي. ماشي… ليه لأ.

لحد ما وصلت لمكان الطريق بيتفرق فيه — طريق سورملاندسليدن، اللي هو طريقي الرسمي، كان مكمل ناحية الشمال، وفي طريق تاني اسمه بلا ليدن مايل ناحية اليمين. المسافتين كانوا تقريباً قد بعض، بس سورملاندسلين كان نازل لتحت وبيمشي جنب المية، فقررت أكمّل في الخطة الأصلية وآخده.

بعد كام خطوة، حسّيت إن في حاجة اتغيّرت. الغابة بقت أكثف، والهوا بقى رطب أكتر والدنيا ظلمت. عيني بدأت تتعب من قلة النور والرطوبة، بس فضلت مركزة على خطواتي… واحدة واحدة.
لحد ما لاقيت قدّامي تلات شجرات واقعين على الطريق.

شفتوا بقى… بالرغم من المصيبة الأنا كنت فيها
افتكرت برضه آخد صورة للبلوج

طلعت فوقهم بالعافية، وكل حركة كانت بتحسّسني إني بصرف طاقة تساوي عشر خطوات. وبعديهم ظهر جذع شجرة تاني، حوالينه فروع مكسّرة وملخبطة. بصيت قدامي… ولقيت الطريق قدامي مليان شجر واقع …

ماكانش فيه كلام يوصف اللحظة دي. موجة يأس عميقة عدّت جوايا. وقفت، وحطّيت إيديا على عيني، وسيبت كام دمعة تنزل — نص غضب، نص استسلام. طب أعمل إيه دلوقتي؟

إني أكمّل كان شبه مستحيل. كنت وصلت لحوالي ١٤ كيلومتر، ولسه قدّامي حوالي ١١ كيلومتر كمان. ولو باقي الطريق شكله كده، عمري ما هعرف أوصل. وفكرة إني أرجع تاني لفوق لحد بلا ليدن (الطريق التاني الكنت ممكن آخده) لوحدها كانت كفاية تخلّيني أقع من التعب هنا وسط الشجر ده كله.

وقفت شوية ساكتة بس غضبانة. غضبانة لإني بصيت على موقع سورملاندسليدن قبل ما آجي — ومكنش فيه أي ذكر للشجر اللي واقع، ولا لأي خراب من النوع ده. وده مش شكل عاصفة حصلت امبارح. ده إهمال… وبصراحة يضايق.

وفي الآخر، استسلمت لفكرة كنت مش عايزة أعترف بيها لنفسي: الوضع فعلاً وحِش… ومش قادرة أكمله لوحدي. دماغي كانت تقيلة ومليانة غضب وقلق، وكنت محتاجة صوت يهدّيني. فبمزيج من التردد والراحة، قررت أكلم حد أثق فيه. حسّيت إنها هزيمة صغيرة — الرحلة دي المفروض تبقى رحلتي أنا — بس برضه كانت خطوة سليمة.

أول ما سمعت صوت يطمني، كل الكلام الكنت كتماه خرج زي السيل. فضفضة، شتايم، كل حاجة.
“لسه قدّامي ١٤ كيلومتر، وأنا تعبانة، والطريق بجد بشع، ومفيش حاجة مستاهلة. كل الناس قالتلي: لازم السويد، لازم السويد… وهي مش مختلفة أصلاً عن ألمانيا! أنا بجد مش قادرة.”

وفي ثواني، الضغط بدأ يخف. أخدت بالي إني عملت الصح. الحمل اللي كنت شايلاه على صدري لوحدي ابتدا يتفك. مبقتش لوحدي. الأفكار اللي كانت بتمشي في دوايرفي مخي سكتت أخيراً. جسمي كان لسه رافض يكمل، بس ماكانش فيه قدامي غير إني أمشي.

فمع صوت حد بيسنّدني في السماعة، بدأت معنوياتي تترفع تاني.
وكل خطوة كانت شبه دعوة… إن الطريق التاني — الطريق البديل — يكون أرحم.

🍃 الجزء الثامن – تمشية بالليل محدش طلبها

آخر حبة شمس

٩:٣٠ مساء. الدنيا كانت بتضلم بسرعة، لكن الحمد لله إن بلا ليدن (الطريق التاني) طلع أرحم بكتير — الأرض كلها حجر متغطي بطحالب زي ما أعرفه، ومعاه أرض غابة طرية – كل ده إيقاع جسمي كان فاكره. وإن يكون فيه حد صوته مسموع في وداني غير صوتي أنا العمال شغال نون-ستوب في مخي كان عامل مفعول كبير، بيشدّني من دوامة التفكير السيئة اللي كنت فيها. وشوية شوية طاقتي بدأت ترجع، وبدأت أحرك عصايا المشي تاني بإحساس شبه ممكن يتقال عليه حماس.

بعد شوية وقفت أبص على الخريطة على كوموت بحاول ألاقي طريق بديل — طريق مفتوح أكتر وغابة أقل، حتى لو هيزوّد وقت المشي. كنت أفضل أمشي ساعة زيادة على إني أكمّل وسط الضلمة في نص الغابة أنا بنور بالكشاف على شبك العناكب والشجر اللي واقع على الأرض. مستحيل.

٦:٥٠ مساء. لقيت طريق هيزوّد حوالي كيلومتر، بس مشيته وأنا مرتاحة — هدفع التمن ده وأنا مبسوطة. كان فاضل حبة نور بسيط… يمكن عشرين في المية… ولسه حوالي تسعة كيلومتر. ومع كل خطوة كان الشك ماشي ورايا زي ظلّي، بس كنت متمسكة بإيماني إني هكمّل.

٧:٣٠ مساء. ارتحت تاني لما الطريق قلب أسفلت ولقيت نفسي بجانب شارع. مين كان يصدّق إنّي هفرح أشوف عربيات؟ الطريق كان هيزود كمان حوالي كيلومترين، بس أحسن ألف مرة من الغابة في الضلمة. السما كانت لسه مديّة خيط أزرق رفيع… يمكن خمسة في المية نور. العربيات كانت بتعدّي كل فترة، وأنوارها كنت حاسّة كأنها مخلوقات فضائية بتزورني ثواني وتمشي.

وقتها أدركت إني عمري ما عملت كده — إني أتمشى لوحدي بالليل في مكان بعيد كده ومعرفوش. كنت دايماً عايزة أجرب، بس أكيد مش بالشكل ده. بس قلت لنفسي أهي على الأقل دي تجربة… قصة هتبقى حلوة بعدين… بس الفكرة جت وراحت في ثانية… لإن كل تفكيري كان في إن كل حاجة كانت بتوجع. جسمي كله كان شغال على “بطارية احتياطية” زي ما بيقولوا عن اللابتوب لما خلاص هيكون هيقفل.

قررت إنه لو عربية وقفت وعرضت مساعدة، هقول آه. بس ولا عربية وقفت. ولا واحدة حتى قلّلت سرعتها.
طب أنا شكلي واثقة من نفسي للدرجة دي؟ يمكن. وبصراحة، فكرة إني أوقف حد كانت صعبة علي. وطالما ماوقعتش على الأرض ورجلي قالتلي “كفاية” ومقامتش تاني، مش هقدر أطلب مساعدة. أنا اخترت الطريق ده، واخترت المخاطرة. التعب والغضب والألم جزء من الاتفاق. وبرغم كل ده، كنت لسه مصدّقة إني هوصل — زعلانة، منهكة، آه… بس هوصل.

٨:٠٠ مساء. فاضل سبعة كيلومترات. حاولت أطمن نفسي: “هي بس زي ما أكون ماشية من شرق برلين لغربها” عادي. عملتها قبل كده.
بس… مش بعد واحد وعشرين كيلومتر، ولا وأنا شايلة جبل على ضهري.
ومع ذلك… قابلة للتحمّل. “ده مجرد مشوار في برلين” — حاولت أخليه شعاري الجديد.

السما كانت حوالي تسعة وتسعين في المية ضلمة. الواحد في المية الباقيين كانوا بسبب النجوم. مافيش أعمدة نور هنا. أخدت بالي إني مش باينة وولّعت كشاف الموبايل — عشان أشوف الأرض، وعشان العربيات تشوفني. هدومي ماكانش فيها أي حاجة عاكسة للإضاءة، فالبقعة الصغيرة دي من النور بقت منقذة حياتي.

الشجر كان شكله مختلف تماماً تحت نور الكشاف. مافيش أي سحر، مافيش أي رومانسية. كان زي هياكل، مشوّهة، متغيّرة مع الشعاع. مبقاش فيهم حاجة حلوة. حسّيت نفسي ماشيّة في فيلم رعب أنا مش مفروض أبقى فيه. حاولت أركز في الطريق، بس كل شوية تفاجئني لافتة بتعكس الضوء — وأفتكرها شخص واقف وقلبي ينط.
اتنفّسي… اتنفّسي.

٩:٠٠ مساء. فاضل تلاتة كيلومتر.
التعب ماكانش بس في جسمي — كان وصل لحاجة أعمق، كإنه احتجاج كامل من كل خلية في كياني. بس عقلي كان فيه جزء صغير منه مستخبي كان عارف إن اليوم دة هيبقى ذكرى غالية بعدين.
بس دلوقتي؟ كان عذاب بصراحة. اختبار إرادة بطيء ومنهك.
ماشيّة بقالى ساعتين ونص من غير ما أقف، ومحبوسة في دوّامة: “كمّلي بس… كمّلي.”

كل تفصيل صغير كان بيخلّيني أتوتر. أي فرع بيتحرّك، أي شكل في الضلمة — كله بيبعت شرارة أدرينالين في جسمي. طاقتي كانت مشدودة على آخرها، الحبة الفاضلة متوزعة على خطواتي ومواجهة الخوف.
وعقلي، كالعادة، اشتغل بالطريقة المش لذيذة — فكرني بكل أفلام الرعب اللي عمري ما كان لازم أشوفها واللي صورها حبكت تطلعلي في مخي دلوقتي.

وبرغم كل ده… كملت.

🍃 الجزء التاسع – أطول كيلومتر في حياتي

٩:٣٠ مساء. فاضل كيلومتر واحد.
ظلمة الشجر اختفت، ولقيت نفسي تحت سما واسعة كلها نجوم.
كان هدوء غريب… هدوء حولي في كل مكان.
وقفت لحظة أستوعب إني هنا — إني لسة واقفة على بعضي — وإن حولي منظر بهذا الجمال.
بالرغم من الألم حسيت إن اللحظة دي زي حضن.
أنا… والليل… وصمت مفروش فوقه آلاف النجوم اللي مش فارقة معاها شكاويي.
منظر لا بشوفه بالشكل ده في برلين ولا في القاهرة.
وبرغم الوجع… حسّيت بشعور امتنان صغير في صدري.

٩:٤٥ مساء. فاضل ٦٠٠ متر. فضلت ماشية وأنا ماسكة دموعي بالعافية
فاضللي مسافة صغيرة جداً مقارنة بالباقي… لكني كنت حاسة إنها مبتنتهيش.
كل خطوة كانت صرخة صغيرة وجسمي كله بقى عبارة عن كتلة وجع واحدة.

آخر خمسة في المية طاقة عندي كانت شغّالة في رقصة يائسة اسمها: “كمّلي، قربتي، هانت خلاص…”
بس كمّلي… كمّلي.

٩:٥٠ مساء. لقيت نفسي اتبلعت وسط ألوفات الأشجار تاني ومحاطة من الضلمة في كل ناحية. بس الحمد لله إن الطريق كان واسع ومترتّب.
كنت عارفة إن الكابينة جنب بحيرة، مستخبية وسط المتاهة دي. ولما لمحت نور ضعيف عن بعد، حسّيت بنبضة أمل. قربت… ولقيت لمبات صغيرة مدوّرة متعلّقة على سور.

الخريطة بتقول إني خمسين متر بعيدة من المكان — بس مش شايفة حاجة.
ساعتها اكتشفت إني وقعت في غلطتي المفضّلة تاني: حطيت الدبوس في الخريطة على مكان بالتقريب، مش على العنوان بالظبط.
تنهدت بغيظ… وعدّلت العنوان… وعلى حظي إكتشفت إن الكابينة كانت قدامي ب٢٠٠ متر بس.

٩:٥٥ مساء.
وصلت للمخيّم، بس مكنتش شايفة ولا بني آدم… أحسن برضه علشان منظري المحرج ده. ماشيّة بعرج بين الكبائن المختلفة، وحسّة إن آخر نقطة صبر عندي راحت.
كنت هموت وأمدد على الكنبة وأنام. حتى مدّ إيدي للموبايل كان بيوجعني.
فبدأت أدور على الكابينة من ذاكرتي لصور Airbnb.
ولقيت واحدة شكلها مألوف — خشب، وسلم… يمكن هي دي.
طلعت السلم، بعتذر لرجلي حرفياً، ولما وصلت للباب… ملقتش بوكس المفاتيح… يوووه
نوّرت بالكشاف من بره الإزاز… وجمعت إن دي الكابينة الغلط. والحمد لله فاضية.

فجأة — حاجة خبّطت جامد في رجلي ونطّيت لورا وقلبي نط نطة كبيرة..
ولقيت… بس قطة برتقالية لطيفة عايزة شوية اهتمام.
“أهلاً… يا حلوة…” قلتها بنص ضحكة ونص صدمة.
قعدت تدعك في رجلي تاني وكأنها عارفة إني محتاجة اللحظة دي… فنزلت على ركبتي وطبطبت عليها، وسمحت لنفسي بدقيقة الراحة الصغيرة دي… وبعدين نزلت السلم تاني.

١٠:٠٠ بالليل.
وهنا… لقيت الكابينة الصح. عرفتها من علم سويدي ضخم متعلق من البلكونة.
طلعت السلم تاني — بالراحة، وتاني باعتذر لركبي.
كتبت الكود… فتح البوكس… وقع المفتاح في إيدي. كنت هعيّط من الفرحة. الباب فتح من أول مرة.
وفي نور الكابينة الدافي… قفلت المكالمة بامتنان… رميت الشنطة… ووقعت على الكنبة. ومددت… لحد مالوقت وقف.

“وصلت.”

〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️

🍃 لو قريت/ي لحد هنا، شكرًا بجد.
كنت عارفة إن اليوم ده كان أتقل وأسخف من أغلب المشاوير اللي كتبت عنها قبل كده، ويمكن حتى كان صعب شوية في القراءة. بس النمو واكتشاف النفس عن طريق تحديات جديدة علي دايمًا جزء كبير من سبب إنّي بمشي لمسافات طويلة وبحُطّ نفسي في ظروف مش سهلة… وده معناه إنّي أتعلم أتقبل إن مش كل رحلة بتكون حلوة ومليانة شمس.
ولأن برضه الصدق هو قيمة بحب أستعين بيها في كتابتي، كنت حاسّة إن تحلية الحكاية دي أو تلميعها كان هيبقى غلط ومش حقيقي. بس لما رجعت أبُص على اللي حصل، فهمت إن التجارب دي هي اللي بتسيب أعمق الأثر، ودروس حياة مهمة… علشان كده كتبت الفصل ده بامتنان ومن غير أي ندم على اللي حصل.

بوعدك/ي إن الأيام الجية أحلى أو على الأقل مش هتكون أفكاري مغيمة كده. 🌞

شكرًا إنّك مشيت/ي معايا… ونفسي أسمع رأيك. 🙌

〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️

نظرة سريعة على إحصائيات الرحلة:

🥾 المسافة المقطوعة: 27.9 كم
⏱️ وقت الحركة: 7 ساعات و 12 دقيقة
🏃🏻‍♀️ السرعة المتوسطة: 3.9 كم/ساعة
⛰️ الارتفاع المقطوع: 370 م

إحصائيات أكثر تفصيلاً على كوموت (إضغط/ي على الصورة للانتقال إلى المسار):

〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️


البوست الجاي هيكون جاهز كمان٢-٣ أسابيع — خليك/ي على إتصال !

🖼️ ولو عجبتك الصور ونفسك في واحدة مطبوعة أو عايز/ة تستخدم/ي أي صورة كـخلفية للموبايل أو اللابتوب، ابعت/ي/لي رسالة! 🫶

〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️

“And Then Sweden Happened” – 8 Days of Dreaming, Walking & Wandering in Sweden (Day 1)

🙋🏻‍♀️ Hello everyone and welcome to a new series of my long-distance hiking adventures! 🥾

This time not in Germany – but in Sweden for a change! I’d been craving a hike that felt a little out of my comfort zone, something that would give me the jolt of newness I’d been missing. It could just as well have been Poland, Spain, or even France, but in the end, Sweden – or shall I say “Sverige” (pronounced as “Sver-yeh”) – won the casting call. And out of my comfort zone it ABSOLUTELY has been.

👋 Now, a small disclaimer before we set off: the first ‘day’, which is being described in this post, is actually my observant and dreamy travel day from Germany to Sweden. There’s no hiking in it. But since for me the buildup is part of the adventure, and this was my very first time heading to Sweden, it felt important to include a post about it. However, if you’d rather skip straight to the walking part, no hard feelings — you’ll find the real hike starting with Day 2, which is in the process of being written. 😌

🎉 For everyone else, buckle up for a ride full of dreaminess, some chaotic moments, excitement, mixed with a hint of clumsiness that is me. Let’s start!

(Estimated read time: 26 minutes)

🇪🇬 Do you prefer to read this post in Egyptian Arabic? Click here.


September 19, 2025 – Day 1
(Train & Ferry Trip from Germany to Sweden)

Part I – Morning Weightlifting

I wake up around 6:00 AM, after repeatedly snoozing for a full half hour. Luckily the question of “whether I really want to risk snoozing one more time and ruining my full hike before even starting it” hits the right nerve, and pushes me to get out of bed.

Putting on the lights (yes, it’s still dark) and preparing the right cup of morning coffee starts giving this day the feeling that it’s here, and my hike is actually happening. Sweden, I’m less than 24 hours away!

I revisit today’s plan in my head, while I sip my coffee and do some routine morning stretches to wake up my sleepy body. Today’s plan goes as follows: I’ll be taking the train from Berlin all the way to Rostock (a German city by the Baltic Sea), and after a short transit stop, I will be taking the ferry (with huge excitement) to a coastal city called Trelleborg in Sweden, where I’ll be spending the first night. The next day, I’ll take a train to Järna (a Swedish city south-west of Stockholm), and from there I will be starting my official hike.

I pack up the last remaining things, expressing a big thank you to my past self for doing such a good job packing 90% of the things yesterday, so I wouldn’t have to worry about this now. I get dressed, excited to try on my upgraded hiking outfit, and I do my best to ignore the little shock I get while swinging the backpack over my shoulders and realizing how heavy it is. I comfort myself with the idea that it will get lighter with every passing day. Off we go!

Part II – Cheered On By Marathoners

07:45 AM. By the time I’m on my way to the train station, the sky is light and the day has started. The air feels a little chilly and damp in a refreshing way. Berlin’s streets aren’t crowded yet, but dozens of runners jog past me, training for the marathon that shall take place this weekend. I can’t help but smile — their determined steps feel like a kind of encouragement, reminding me that I’m not alone in this challenge I’m about to begin.

I notice my motivation’s still low, my legs feel a bit stiff, and I’m annoyed at failing to find a comfortable way of holding my not-so-light camera. But I remind myself that I’m familiar with this discomfort always being part of the “warmup” to the hike, and I’ll figure out a better way along the way, just like I always do.

At the train station, I jump onto an S-Bahn (urban rapid railway) that takes me to the central station. Happily, I realize I have a full half hour before the train to Rostock departs — a little luxury I take advantage of to get some snacks for the trip.

Halfway down the escalator to the right platform I clumsily try to take a few photos to document the start of this day, but it’s too busy and I’m too overwhelmed, so I give up after a couple of attempts.

My clumsy overwhelmed potato quality shot…

The platform is really crowded with what I assume to be at least 200 people. And not long after arriving, the first bad news announcement is heard: ten minute delay. Then, a couple minutes after: twenty minute delay. Really annoying, but… it wouldn’t be the German railway without a delay after all.

I remind myself to stay calm and use the time to people-watch instead. There’s a wide range to be entertained by — solo travelers in all styles and ages, with and without dogs, couples hugging each other, older people with neat little suitcases, big groups of students on their senior trips, reminding me of my older school days. It’s a miniature world to observe and daydream about, and somehow that lightens the feeling of waiting.

Look again! That’s a reflection, not a real person. ;)

When the train finally arrives (unsurprisingly at a different platform), the whole crowd surges into motion to board. Luckily, the platform is just opposite of the one originally planned, so there’s no need for me to heave my backpack up the stairs in a wild sprint… along with a hundred other people. A small victory — but one I’ll take!

Part III – The Seat Challenge

09:10 AM. Boarding the train is its own small storm. Although I’m right near the front and have the luxury of choosing between several empty seats, my brain glitches and somehow decides to walk past them all, convinced there must be something better just ahead. Of course, by the time I realize there isn’t, the wave of people behind me has already occupied all the free seats. Why, dear brain, why?

With some luck, I spot a three-seater where only one older woman is sitting, her bag carefully guarding the seat in front of her. I ask, as politely as possible, if the spot is free. She hesitates, then admits only one is available, not both. “That’s perfect,” I reply with excitement, relieved to have somewhere to settle — and even some space beside me for my bulky backpack.

View from my seat

“It’s really full today, isn’t it?” she says to me, with surprised eyes and a dissatisfied expression.
“Yes, very much so,” I answer, offering her a sympathetic smile.

I watch her in amusement, as she repeatedly shoos away other desperate passengers from the seat she’s saving. The poor woman looks tense, and I can’t help but remember the last time I tried to guard a seat for a friend who was late and how stressful it was to turn people away while the train filled up so fast. Today, I’m glad it’s not my responsibility.

Around four stations later, the friend my seat-neighbour has been guarding the place for finally arrives. The two women look so alike in aura and manner that I assume they must have known each other for years. We exchange polite smiles, then return to our own worlds. Mine, for now, consists of daydreaming out the window, immersing myself in music, wandering between meditative questions about the universe and nervous excitement about my trip ahead, while Berlin slides by in its usual grey palette, softened only by trees and the occasional balcony overflowing with lush green plants.

The weather is cloudy, uninspiring, but then again — I won the snooze challenge, made it out of my bed and onto the train on time, and that in itself is enough to spark some motivation. The journey has begun!

Part IV – You’ve Got This

Around 11:30 AM, the train pulls into Rostock. The next step is to take another S-Bahn to a station called Lütten-Klein, where I’ll switch to a bus that goes directly to the ferry terminal. As I know the station from past trips to the sea, so navigating through the crowds doesn’t throw me off, and I find the S-Bahn easily.

At first, I’m lucky enough to enjoy the comfort of a four-seater to myself for a few stations. But soon, two women join — one of them has sharply tattooed eyebrows and throws me a smile. I smile back, wondering how I must look with hiking poles sticking out of my backpack like antennae.

At another stop, a group of eight middle-aged men pile in, luggage in tow, spilling across the remaining seats and blocking half the hallway. I already start planning how I’ll maneuver past them with my backpack without looking entirely ridiculous.

To add to my anxiety, the announcements on the train aren’t working, and strangely, the station names aren’t even visible on the platforms, no matter how hard I look.

“Well, you know what to do!”, I tell myself. I’ve been in this situation before and know a trick. I keep Google Maps open, tracking the little dot that is me, as I float through the map, while the train moves, all the way to my destination. All it needs is some focus and trust that I’ve got this.

One station before Lütten-Klein, I awkwardly heave the backpack on while still seated, trying to give the impression that I know what I’m doing – both to myself and everyone around me. One of the men catches my eye and gives me a warm, reassuring smile. It helps. I balance my way past their luggage (thank you, daily Yoga exercises!), squeeze through to the door, and step into the outside air with a deep sigh of relief. Mission accomplished!

12:00 PM. The walk to the bus stop is straightforward, though I groan when I realize the next bus isn’t due for another 20 minutes. Hmm. Continue standing in this bland greyness or go explore and see if I can grab a coffee somewhere? Easy choice!

I wander back to the station and spot a small service store. The cashier, a black-haired woman with strikingly blue eyes, greets me, and I ask — with all the charm I can muster — if there’s a toilet. She smiles, hands me a key, and I find myself in a basic little room, happy just to freshen up and check if my braids still look halfway presentable.

Afterwards, I return to the counter to give back the key and to buy a coffee. A self-serve filter coffee, nothing fancy, but the simple act of pouring it myself feels grounding. With the warm cup in hand, I head back to the bus stop. Ten minutes left. The platform slowly fills with people, who, by their quiet expectancy, are clearly waiting for the same bus.

Waiting for the bus, this time with coffee!

Then I see it: the bus has been sitting just across the street the entire time, only five steps away. But when departure time comes, the driver pulls out of his spot, out of the station, onto the main street, circles the block in a U-turn, and comes back around to park neatly in front of us. I can’t help but chuckle in disbelief.
Tell me you’re in Germany without telling me you’re in Germany...

The bus was just five steps away

Part V – Egypt Pays An Anecdotal Visit

12:20 PM. We board the bus and I settle near the back, surrounded by men in worker uniforms chatting amongst themselves. One of them has such a heavy dialect I barely catch half of what he’s saying, but it doesn’t matter — their banter is oddly comforting.

I stay alert for the stop announcements, since here you have to press the red “STOP” button or the bus won’t stop at your station, unless someone else is waiting for the bus there. The name “Seehafen Fähre” (lake harbor ferry) finally comes, and I press it in time, though the bus still takes a full ten minutes to arrive there.

Somewhere along the way, one of the men suddenly launches into a story about driving in Egypt and how cheap it is to get a license there. He swears you can do it in two weeks for 160 euros, though you can’t use it abroad. I laugh quietly to myself at the randomness of this conversation, as if Egypt has just stepped into the bus with us. He goes on about taxes and car prices in a way that makes little sense to me, but his confidence is entertaining enough.

12:35 PM. At last, the bus pulls into a wide industrial-looking area filled with trucks and scattered cars under a hazy sky. No sign of the sea yet. Everyone gets off, and I follow the men toward a reddish building that looks promising.

Inside, it’s quiet — just a few travelers, some self-check-in counters, and no visible staff. I look for “StenaLine,” the company I booked with, only to later discover today’s sailing is run by “TT-Line.” A hastily taped paper sign and a not-so-enthusiastic clerk behind a counter, send me back through another set of doors until I finally find the right counter.

There, an older woman with short white hair greets me with genuine warmth and enthusiasm. After the indifference of the first clerk, her friendliness catches me off guard. She excitedly checks my ticket with a big smile and wide open attentive eyes, confirms my cabin, does not bother checking my ID, and hands me a small boarding pass that also serves as my cabin key. Relief washes over me. My online reservation worked!

“One of those red shuttle buses will take you to the ferry,” she explains, while pointing to some neatly parked red buses outside. “They’ll come about half an hour before departure time.”

Since it’s still 12:45 PM and the bus should come at 1:30 PM, that leaves me with almost an hour to wait — enough time for a snack, a deep breath, and to notice that the sun, at last, is beginning to shyly show itself through the hazy sky. A small gift, right here at the edge of the sea, which to this moment I cannot yet see. Still, it’s a gift I’ll happily take!

Unfortunately, I took this photo before the sun came out

Part VI – Rejected Together

The time passes quietly, in that way waiting hours sometimes do, carried forward by little fragments of observation that turn into their own kind of meditation. At first it’s just me and another woman, but slowly the wind-shielded room fills with other travelers, each one adding their own small presence to the scene. Across from me an older couple occupies a bench; the woman is loudly narrating her discovery of how her phone works, as if each small revelation requires to be shared with such excitement, and I can’t help but smile. Right behind them another couple sits in perfect contrast — silent, companionable, nibbling on snacks with deep serenity.

Then a young man with blond hair rolls in with his bicycle and cycling gear. Without hesitation, he looks at the group and asks in the sweetest, most excited way if someone could watch his bike while he buys a ticket. “But of course!” I reply immediately, touched by the trust in his voice, that simple assumption of goodwill between strangers.

The waiting room continues to populate in this gradual, almost choreographed fashion. A trio of backpackers — two young women and a curly-haired man, who catches my attention with his colorful clothes and red-patterned keffiyeh — spreads itself across a corner. A young couple stands by the glass wall, locked in a loop of hugs, clearly preparing for a farewell. Three more female solo travelers appear, one with a dog and a backpack so large, I’m humbled by her capability to carry it, in comparison to mine.

1:20 PM. By the time a red shuttle bus finally pulls up, we’ve formed a short line, united by nothing more than our collective wish to finally be taken to the ferry. Everyone takes their turn, only for the driver to shake his head at each presented ticket with the same firm, but comically pronounced words: “Nein, auch nicht!” (Meaning: No, also not.) One after the other is turned away, and when my turn comes and I reluctantly show my boarding pass, I too earn my own “Nein, auch nicht!” — the sixth in a row — which sets the group giggling, myself included. There’s something oddly bonding in being rejected together.

We linger on the pavement as one bus after the other passes us by. Ten minutes stretch into twenty, and I watch a driver at another red bus wrestle with its door, prying it open with annoyed confusion. “Is that our bus?” I wonder, half amused, half worried, but of course, only time will tell. My gaze drifts unwillingly toward a group of four police officers nearby, busy stopping vans and cars that had just deboarded a ferry for spot checks. It feels uncomfortable to watch, but like everyone else I catch myself glancing over again and again, the collective curiosity too strong to resist.

And then, at last, our bus arrives — with a delay, but whole and functioning. We climb aboard in a flurry of relief, and just like that we’re finally on our way to the ferry.

Part VII – The Labyrinth Of The Ferry

1:45 PM. The bus drops us in front of a gigantic ferry, probably the largest I’ve ever seen. Boarding, however, turns out to be far less straightforward than I’d imagined…

I step down, camera in hand, torn between wanting to grab a few photos and the rising urgency of simply not losing my fellow travelers, as there isn’t a single person around to ask for directions, if I get lost. I fall in step behind three fellow travelers who seem, at least in that moment, to know what they’re doing. They stride confidently up the ramp that has been lowered for cars and trucks, and I, with no better plan, follow them straight into the cave-like garage — a space large enough to hold at least thirty trucks and hundreds of cars.

It’s there, wedged between this monstruously long line of vehicles, that one of the other women suddenly interrupts the silence: “Do you all actually know where we’re going, or are you just following?”

I admit that I was just trailing along, reassured by the bus driver’s lack of objection when he saw us on the ramp. To be safe, I call out to the trio ahead, asking as sweetly as I can: “Are you sure you know where you’re going?” One of them turns around, nods, says a quick yes, and keeps walking. But only a few steps later we’re caught in a dead end, pinned between trucks, with no sign of an exit.

The nervous traveler seizes the chance to give us an impromptu lecture on ferry safety — apparently we were supposed to board from the outside, through a ladder. With some awkwardness, we walk all the way back, only to find that no such ladder exists. Where to go? The woman starts nervously approaching a security cabin, seeking anyone to ask for directions, only to find it empty. We spot a couple of men wearing vests and guiding trucks into position in the distance, but they seem way too busy to interrupt. None of us have the nerve to walk across to them.

The woman who had first guided the way into the garage uses the chance to insist that this was the right way, and that’s the way she’s always done it. So, obediently, we head back into the garage. This time I notice, from a distance, a row of doors leading to stairways and elevators. I point them out, and our spirits lift as we head toward them, laughing at the absurdity of our situation.

At the door, the curly-haired man in the keffiyeh presses a large black button that looks more like a knob than anything else, and a sliding door opens. We stand at crossroads again – where to now? And is this even the right door? There are three other ones down the hallway…

As every person tries to make sense of the situation, I notice the giant letter signs above each door, matching the letters printed on our boarding passes. I try to draw attention to this logic, but I fail to get through to anyone, so I wave awkwardly and head toward the door marked with an “A” on my own, which is where my cabin is supposed to be.

Two weary-looking men in worker clothes glance at me as I wait for the elevator. Their mood doesn’t invite conversation and I don’t feel very welcome, so I choose to take the stairs instead. It isn’t until I’m halfway up that I notice I’ll have to climb all the way to level nine. I give the elevator another chance, only to find it slow and, when it finally arrives, already full. Fine. I’ll walk.

Step after step, past orange-painted walls, two men fixing lights in the ceiling, a couple of doors that lead nowhere, I at last emerge into a bright, super calm corridor. To my surprise the ferry feels less like a ship and more like a freshly polished, modern hotel — patterned walls, soft LED strips, soft rugged carpet underfoot. It’s incredibly quiet. I encounter just one couple wandering in search of their own room.

And then, in the middle of one insignificant hallway, the magic number appears: 9519. My cabin! I slip the boarding pass into the slot, wait for the green light, and feel a giant wave of relief when the door clicks open.

Part VIII – Blissfully Afloat

2:00 PM. I’m pleasantly surprised at how nice the cabin is. Clean, spacious, a lovely sea view — AND a bathroom with a shower! I’d expected a tiny crammed box where I could barely lay down my bags, so this exceeds all expectations and gives the vibe of a small sanctuary on this gigantic ship.

After taking the first set of photos and videos, I settle onto the bed and gaze out the window. We’ve started moving. The harbor glides past in slow motion, white-foamed waves forming around the ship, and I’m amazed by the height I’m looking down at the sea from.

There’s a constant white noise and light pressure in the air, which oddly soothes me. Along with the magnificent sea view, settling in proves to be incredibly calming, and I thank myself for spending a few extra bucks to book this cabin with a view.

2:40 PM. After some time stretching my legs and letting them relax after the stiff train ride, my explorer mode kicks in. Shoes on, grateful for some time away from the backpack, I take a discovery stroll around the ferry, a labyrinth in itself. Signs lead everywhere and nowhere — a sauna here (oh, how I wish I’d known beforehand!), three restaurants pointing in opposite directions, a shop somewhere — so I follow the subtle sounds of laughter and music coming from the distance instead.

The sounds lead me up some stairs, and then some more, until I I find around five different seating areas; one of them comes with a lounge-y vibe, the other feels more casual, the rest provides a mix of cantine-feeling and stylish bookstore. I really like the variety! And then, a few twists and turns later, I stumble onto a sun deck.

Stepping outside feels almost like a trance. Hazy sunlight filters through a soft, sleepy atmosphere. Two groups of men in work clothes enjoy large glasses of beer near the entrance; lounge chairs stretch out under the sun, mostly occupied with people lazily spread all over them, each in their own space. Wooden steps in the middle hold a few scattered seniors along with two young men, who are stretching in the sun. I walk slowly, taking it all in — the calmness, the warm light, the gentle movements around me.

I head back inside briefly for a hot chocolate. With the drink in hand, I return to the wooden steps, settle down, lean back, and close my eyes. The mix of euphoria, serenity, gentle observation, and warmth of the chocolate feels like the perfect pause in the middle of the journey.

Part IX – Dinner And Golden Light

3:30 PM. Eventually, reality calls me back and I decide to head back inside to eat. Vegetarian options are limited, but a vegan sausage with fries will do. I pick a corner seat in the cantine-style area, which gives me a bit of privacy, a glowing sea view, and a sweeping perspective over the rest of the space.

I savor each bite, fully aware that this will be my last restaurant meal for a few days. The first hikes will be solitary, remote, with no shops or restaurants and no capacity to cook sophisticated warm meals. Knowing this makes every fry, every bite of sausage, more precious.

4:00 PM. With about three hours left before docking, I wander back to my cabin for a rest and a short meditation. By the time I reach my room, the sunlight streams through the window, and I feel grateful for the peaceful space, letting the sunshine wash over me with warmth. I change into comfortable clothes, sit on the bed, and close my eyes. Ambient music fills the background as I imagine the sunlight as flowing love, filling me from head to toe. Slowly, I lay back, surrendering to one of the most serene sleeps I’ve had in a long while.

Sunset view from my cabin

Part X – Patience, Patience And Some More Patience

6:30 PM. The alarm nudges me awake, gently, as the ferry’s arrival looms. I linger in the semi-dream, trying to get a few extra minutes of sleep, until the crew’s loud announcement brings me fully back to the reality that I have to leave this cabin within thirty minutes, as we’re approaching the shore soon. Oh no!

Sunset spreads across the water, a quiet reward for being dragged out of that perfect sleep. I stretch, pack my things, and take one last look at the cabin in gratitude for this experience. I then make my way to the restaurant area, finding space by three massive windows overlooking the sea, settling in with my camera to capture the changing light.

7:00 PM. An announcement notifies us “travelers without a vehicle” that we need to wait by the restaurant area to be guided on from there. I stand up and head there. After a few more minutes, other travelers arrive — the curly-haired man and his companions, the dog-owning solo traveler, the blond woman who’d been hugging her partner all the time. And now we wait. 10, 15, and then 20 minutes pass… No updates, nothing. We’ve docked, but as pedestrians we’re not allowed to leave the ferry on our own.

7:20 PM. Countering the lingering boredom, the blond woman strikes up a conversation in German, curious about where I’m headed. I tell her it’s my first time in Sweden, and I’ll be hiking on my own, starting from Järna all the way to Eskilstuna (more on that in the next posts!). She mentions she lives in Sweden but still has a train ride ahead of her, and warmly expresses support for my solo hike. She also jokes about how slowly everything moves here, referring to the slowness of getting us off this ship. But can anything possibly be slower than Germany? I silently doubt it.

“This is a real patience test,” I say, as we hit the thirty-minute mark waiting, and a ripple of laughter passes through the group. Our eyes keep glancing at the staff — one of which is holding a walkie-talkie, clearly communicating with someone. The cashier glances at us with an almost apologetic look for the wait, continuing to clean and dry equipment. Then, suddenly, a man in a yellow vest appears out of nowhere, and everyone stares, wide-eyed and excited, only for him to vanish just as quickly behind a door. Sigh.

7:40 PM. Finally, a full forty minutes after docking, another young man with dark hair, a solid build, and a vest approaches, announcing that we’re ready to go. Sweetly, he asks if anyone needs help carrying anything. We all freeze, surprised by the offer, thinking we misheard. He spots the girl with the dog and her enormous backpack, asking if he should carry hers. With wide open eyes expressing her surprise, she excitedly takes the offer and hands the bag over. Seconds later, the whole group erupts in laughter as the man struggles under the weight, exclaiming in shock about how heavy it really is.

We follow him through hallways, across the sun deck that is now cast with a navy-blue evening sky, down a flight of stairs, and into an elevator. The girl owning the heavy backpack gets assigned to the second elevator group, so as soon as the doors close upon us in the elevator, the man again leads the group to a moment of laughter, as he again complains about the weight: “I don’t know what’s in that bag, but it’s heavy!” Once downstairs in the gigantic garage, we wait by the door, and I watch trucks rumble past, some of them loaded with brand-new cars. I again feel amazed at the sheer capacity of the ship.

He guides us to the shuttle bus and says a sweet goodbye, before the bus takes us to the port gate. Darkness has settled, but a gentle warm breeze keeps the air pleasant and my excitement for this adventure fresh.

As I rush through a door held open by a harbor worker, after getting off the bus, I get so absorbed in finding the right path that when I turn to wave goodbye, I notice the rest of the group has already moved on toward the train station. A feeling of sadness hits me, as I hope I haven’t given the impression of indifference — but now that the moment’s gone, I say my farewell on a heart level and choose to shift my focus on the quiet relief of having arrived.

8:00 PM. The city is quiet and its streets empty. A bus glides by, and a pair of teenage girls chatter loudly, each with a phone in one hand and balancing an e-scooter with the second. Darkness, calmness, and stillness wrap around me, and between rushed steps to the apartment I’ve booked for the night, I start feeling like I’ve arrived.

I am pleasantly greeted with candy that carries my name… well, almost!

8:20 PM. A couple of kilometers later, I reach the apartment and check in without much difficulty. As soon as I’m inside, I let my backpack fall to the floor with a sigh of relief. A warm shower follows, then a simple dinner, before I finally close the blinds, letting the day gently settle behind me. Grateful for a smooth start, I feel my curiosity stirring for what tomorrow might hold…

…and oh, it promises some surprises.

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If you’ve read this far, I’d like to express a deep, heartfelt THANK YOU. ❤️ It means so much to me that you’ve taken the time to accompany me from the first chapter of my journey, and I can’t wait to share the rest with you. The next post shall be up in 1-2 weeks – stay tuned!

💛 If you enjoyed reading my daydreams and would like to support me or express a small thank you, maybe you’d like to buy me a coffee? ☕ I LOVE coffee, and be assured it’s a guaranteed way to give me a BIG moment of happiness. ☺️ 💁🏻‍♀️

🖼️ If you liked the photos and would like a print or to use any of them as a wallpaper, please feel free to reach out to me! 🫶

〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️

«وبعدين… لقيت نفسي في السويد»

٨ أيام من المشي والأحلام والتوهان في السويد (اليوم الأول)

🙋🏻‍♀️ أهلاً وسهلاً بيكم يا جماعة في حلقة جديدة من مغامراتي مع المشي لمسافات طوييييلة في أماكن عشوائية.

المرة دي مش في ألمانيا، لأ… في السويد!
كنت محتاجة مشية تخرجني شوية من مجال الراحة بتاعي، حاجة تديني الإحساس بتجربة جديدة. كانت على وشك انها تبقى بولندا، أو إسبانيا، أو حتى فرنسا، بس في الآخر رسيت على السويد – أو زي ما بيقولوها هناك «سڤيريّه» (وانطقوها كده: «سڤآر- يِه») – هي اللي خدت الدور. وأقدر أقول بمنتهى الثقة: فعلاً كانت برا منطقة الراحة بتاعتي… بالزيادة.

قبل ما نبتدي أحب أوضح حاجة: اليوم الأول من السلسلة دي مش فعلاً يوم “مشي”، هو يوم السفر نفسه من ألمانيا للسويد – يوم كله ملاحظات وأحلامي اليومية (الإنتم خلاص المفروض تكونوا اتعودتوا عليها 😁). بس بالنسبة لي، التحضير والسفر جزء من المغامرة، خصوصاً إنها أول مرة في حياتي أروح السويد، فكان لازم اليوم ده يتكتب في مذكراتي برضه… بس لو إنتوا مستعجلين على الجزء اللي فيه المشي فعلاً، مافيش مشكلة خالص 😌، تقدروا تبدأوا من يوم ٢… الهو لسة بيتكتب وهيتنشر قريب..

🎉 أما اللي هيكمل معايا من أولها، يجهّز نفسه لرحلة فيها شوية أحلام، شوية فوضى، شوية حماس، ومعاهم طبعاً اللخبطة اللي دايماً بتكون أنا.
يلا بينا!

(مدة القراءة تقريباً: ٢٦ دقيقة)


١٩ سبتمبر ٢٠٢٥ – اليوم الأول
(رحلة القطر والعبّارة من ألمانيا للسويد)

الجزء الأول – تمارين الصباح بالشنطة

صحيت حوالي الساعة ٦ الصبح بعد نص ساعة كاملة من معركة “السنوز” مع الموبايل. كل شوية أقول لنفسي: “طب آخر مرة وبعدين أقوم”، لحد ما جِه السؤال اللي لمس العصب الصح: “هو أنا فعلاً عايزة أخاطر أضغط سنوز مرة كمان وأبوّظ الرحلة كلها قبل ما تبتدي أصلا؟
السؤال دة لوحده كان كفاية يخليني أقوم من السرير… الحمد لله اني لحقت أسأله قبل ما ألاقي نفسي نمت تاني.

ولّعت النور (أيوه لسه الدنيا ضلمة) وبدأت أجهّز كوباية القهوة اللي بتظبط المود كده في أول اليوم. مع أول بق حسّيت إن اليوم بدأ فعلاً، وإن الرحلة مش حلم خلاص. يا سويد… فاضلي أقل من ٢٤ ساعة وأكون عندِك! ☕️🇸🇪

بدأت أراجع خطة اليوم وأنا بشرب القهوة وبعمل شوية “ستريتشس” (بتمطع يعني) عشان أصحّى جسمي النيمان.
الخطة كالآتي: هاخد القطر من برلين لحد مدينة اسمها روستوك على بحر البلطيق، وبعد استراحة صغيرة هناك هاخد العبّارة (الهي أنا بجد متحمسة عليها جدا!) لمدينة ساحلية اسمها تريلليبورغ في السويد، وهناك همضي أول ليلة.
اليوم البعده هاخد قطر تاني لمدينة صغيرة اسمها يَرنا، ومن هناك هتبدأ رحلة المشي الرسمية بتاعتي.

لمّيت آخر شوية حاجات، وأنا في قلبي بشكر نفسي القديمة اللي كانت شاطرة ووضّبت ٩٠٪ من الشنطة امبارح بالليل برغم التعب .
لبست لبس الرحلة اللي لسة جايباه جديد ومتحمّسة أجربه في هذه الرحلة، ولما شِلت الشنطة على ضهري وخدت صدمة صغيرة من وزنها، ضحكت وقلت لنفسي: “ماتقلقيش يا بنتي، كل يوم هتخف شوية… احنا اتعودنا خلاص.”
ويلا بينا على أول خطوة في المغامرة! 🏃🏻‍♀️🎒✨

✨ الجزء التاني – تشجيع من متسابقين الماراثون

وأنا في طريقي لمحطة القطر السما كانت بدأت تنوّر، و بدأت أحس أكتر ان اليوم ابتدى رسميًا. الهوا كان فيه لسعة برد خفيفة ورطوبة كده منعشة.
شوارع برلين كانت لسه فاضية نسبيًا، بس فجأة كل شوية ألاقي ناس نشيطة كدة زيي بتجري جاية في طريقي – فهمت انهم متسابقين بيتدرّبوا للماراثون آخر الأسبوع.
ما قدرتش أمنع نفسي من الابتسامة، حسّيت إن خطواتهم المليانة إصرار كأنها تشجيع صغير ليا، كأنهم بيقولولي: “إنتِ مش لوحدك في التحدي اللي جاي دهاحنا داخلينه معاكي

بس الصراحة، طاقتي أنا كانت لسة على قدها. عضلات رجلي احساسها ناشف شوية، ومزاجي لسة مش مظبوط، والكاميرا التقيلة في إيدي مش مخلّياني ألاقي وضع مريح أمسكها بيه.
بس على طول افتكرت إن الإحساس ده جزء من الـ”تسخين” بتاع أي رحلة مشي طويلة — المرحلة اللي الجسم والمخ فيها بيحاولوا يفتكروا هما كانوا بيتصرفوا إزاي بالظبط في الرحلات دي. تاني أفكر نفسي ان كله هيتحسن بالوقت والروتين هيظبط نفسه على تاني أو تالت يوم.

وصلت المحطة وركبت القطراللي بياخدني لمحطة برلين المركزية، ولما وصلت هناك اكتشفت إن عندي ساعة كاملة قبل القطر بتاع روستوك ما يمشي – شوية رفاهية نادرة استغليتها فورًا عشان أشتري شوية سناكس لرحلتي لروستوك.

وانا نازلة على السلم الكهربائي للمسار الهيقوم منه القطر، حاولت أصور صورة كده للبداية الرمزية بتاعة اليوم… بس الزحمة كانت مجنونة وكله مستعجل وأنا مش قد ان أنا أوقف الجيش الورايا علشان ألقط صورة… فبعد كام محاولة فاشلة قلت خلاص، محبكتش دلوقتي وقبلت الصورة الرديئة الأخدتها.

صورتي ذي جودة بطاطساية 😁

المسار نفسه ملياااان ناس، على الأقل ٢٠٠ شخص! وبعد كام دقيقة ييجي أول خبر وحش: القطر متأخر عشر دقايق. وبعدها بدقيقتين: القطر متأخر عشرين دقيقة.
تنهدت وقلت في سري: “ماهو لو ما اتأخرش… منبقاش في السكة الحديد الألمانية (لإنه القطر بيتأخرمعظم الوقت… بجد آه) .🙃

قررت أفضل هادية وأفكر نفسي اني لسة عندي وقت كتير ممكن أستغله في اني أتفرّج على الناس اللي حولي وأسمع الموسيقى بتاعتي.
المشهد متنوّع جدًا: مسافرين لوحدهم من كل الأعمار، ناس معاهم كلاب، أزواج بيودّعوا بعض بالأحضان، كبار في السن بشنط شكلها حلو، وجروبات طلبة في رحلات تخرُّج بيضحّكوا وبيفكروني بأيام المدرسة.
المكان بقى شبه دنيا صغيرة… وأنا قاعدة أتفرّج وأسرح، وحسّيت إن الانتظار مبقاش مضايقني.

بصّ/ي تاني! ده انعكاس في شباك القطر، مش حد بجد 😉

وأخيرًا القطر وصل – طبعًا على مسار تاني غير اللي كان المفروض 😅.
بس لحسن الحظ، المسار الجديد كان قصاد القديم، يعني مش مضطرة أطلع السلم وأجري بالشنطة التقيلة مع مئات الناس كإني في فيلم كوميدي.
نصر صغير، بس والله مستاهل الاحتفال! 🏅🎒

✨ الجزء التالت – معركة الكرسي

الركوب في القطر كان عاصفة صغيرة في حد ذاتها.
كنت من أول الناس اللي دخلت القطر، وكان قدامي كذا كرسي فاضي أختار بينهم، بس مخّي قرر في اللحظة دي إنه “يعلّق”، ومشيّت قدّام وأنا متأكدة إني هلاقي حاجة أحسن بعد شوية.
وطبعًا، لما اكتشفت إن مافيش أي حاجة أحسن، كانت الموجة اللي ورايا خلاص احتلت كل الكراسي الفاضية.
ليه كدة يا مخّي؟ ليه؟ 😩

بالحظ، شُفت تلات كراسي اتنين منهم جنب بعض وواحد قصادهم، قاعدة على واحد منهم ست كبيرة لوحدها، وحطة شنطتها على الكرسي اللي قصادها كأنها بتحرسه.
سألتها بأدب لو المكان فاضي، اترددت شوية وقالتلي إن في كرسي واحد بس فاضي، مش الاتنين.
قلتلها وأنا مبتسمة: “تمام، ده كفاية أوي!”
فرحت إن أخيرًا عندي مكان أقعد فيه، وكمان مساحة أحط فيها الشنطة التقيلة اللي شايلاها على ظهري.

المنظر من مكاني

قالتلي وهي بتبُص حوالين القطر بإستغراب:
“النهارده زحمة قوي، مش كده؟”
ردّيت بابتسامة متفهمة:
“أيوا فعلاً زحمة جداً…” وأنا في سري بفكر اني بصراحة عمري ما شفت الخط ده فاضي.

قعدت أتفرّج عليها وهي كل شوية تطرد الركاب اليائسين اللي بيحاولوا يقعدوا على الكرسي اللي هي حارساه. شكلها متوترة جدًا، وافتكرت آخر مرة كنت فيها في موقف شبه كده لما كنت بحاول أحجز كرسي لواحدة صاحبتي اتأخرت… توتر مش طبيعي. النهارده الحمد لله الدور ده مش عليّا.

بعد حوالي أربع محطات، صاحبتها اللي حجزلها الكرسي وصلت أخيرًا.
الاتنين كانوا شبه بعض في لبسهم والتصرفات لدرجة إني افترضت إنهم صحاب عُمرٍ طويل.
ابتسمت للصديقة ابتسامة سريعة، وكل واحدة رجعت لعالمها.
عالمي أنا دلوقتي كان عبارة عن الفرجة برة الشباك والإستماع للموسيقى بتاعتي، شوية تأمل في الكون، شوية قلق مع تحمس على اللي جاي، وأنا بتفرّج على برلين وهي بتعدي في درجات الرمادي المعتادة بتاعتها، متزينة بس بشجر وبلكونات مليانة زرع.

الجو كان مغيم شوية، من النوع البينيم الأنا مش بحبه ده، بس قعدت أفكر نفسي اني كسبت معركة السنوز الصبح ولحقت القطر وان أنا ممكن أنام دلوقتي براحتي خلاص… بس معرفتش أنام من كتر ما أنا متحمسة على اللي جي.

✨ الجزء الرابع – قدّها وقدود

بعد حوالي ساعتين ونص، القطر وصل روستوك.
المرحلة الجاية إني أركب قطر تاني لمحطة اسمها لوتن-كلاين، ومن هناك أوصل للأوتوبيس اللي بياخدني مباشرةً لميناء العبّارة.
ولإني كنت في محطة روستوك دي قبل كده في رحلات لي على البحر، فالمكان مش غريب عليّا، وفعلاً لقيت القطرالتاني بسهولة وجيش الناس الحولي موترنيش زي ما كان هيوترني في العادي. 😮‍💨

في الأول، كان عندي أربع كراسي لوحدي –يا للراحة . 😌
بس بعد كام محطة، ركبت سيدتين، واحدة فيهم حواجبها مرسومة تاتو بطريقة حادة كده وبَصّتلي بابتسامة. ابتسمت لها وأنا بفكر في شكلي أنا، وعصيان المشي اللي طالعين من الشنطة ورايا كأنهم إريَل (بتاع التليفزيون). 🫣

بعدها، في محطة تانية، دخلت مجموعة ثمانية رجالة، وزعوا شنطهم في كل مكان ومغطيين نص الممر.
بدأت أعمل خطة في دماغي إزاي هعدّي من فوق شنطهم من غير ما أتكعبل وأقع وألاقي نفسي اتقلبت ريل على تيكتوك.

ولزيادة التوتر بقى ألاقي ان التنبيهات لأسامي المحطات في القطر مش شغالة، وأسماء المحطات مش باينة على الأرصفة مهما حاولت أركّز!
قلت لنفسي: “ماشي، مش أول مرة تحصل… عندي خطة.”
فتحت جوجل مابس، وبقيت أتفرّج على النقطة الزرقا اللي هي أنا وهي بتتحرك على الخريطة وأركز مع كل اسم محطة النقطة الزرقا تعديه على الخريطة، لحد ما أوصل محطتي. محتاجة شوية تركيز وثقة… بس أنا قدّها. 💪

قبل محطة لوتن-كلاين بواحدة، بدأت أجهّز نفسي للنزول. شِلت الشنطة التقيلة وأنا لسه قاعدة عشان أوهم نفسي واللي حواليا إنّي منظمة وعارفة أنا بعمل إيه . 😅
واحد من الرجالة لمّحني وبَصّلي بابتسامة دافئة كده، حسّيت إنها تشجيع صامت.
عدّيت وسط شنطهم واحدة واحدة من غير ما أتكعبل (شكرًا يا يوجا اليومية!)، وصلت للباب، ونزلت وأنا باخد نفس عميق من الهوا البارد.
مهمة أُنجزت! 🥳

الطريق لموقف الأوتوبيس كان سهل، بس لما بصّيت على الشاشة واكتشفت إن الأوتوبيس الجاي بعد ٢٥ دقيقة قلت: “آه بقى… أفضل واقفة في الرمادي ده ولا أروح أدور على قهوة؟”
طبعًا القهوة كسبت ☕️.

رجعت ناحية مبنى المحطة، ولقيت محل خدمة صغير.
الكاشيرة، ست شعرها أسود وعينيها زرقة كده بشكل بيشد، سلّمت عليّا بلُطف. سألتها بكل ما عندي من لطف لو في حمّام، ابتسمت ومدّتلي المفتاح.
الحمّام بسيط جدًا، بس حسّيت إني رجعت للحياة وأنا بغسل وشي وبطّمن إن الضفاير لسه شكلها معقول .

رجعتلها المفتاح واشتريت قهوة. قهوة فلتر عادية خالص، بس فكرة إنّي أسكبها بإيدي حسّستني بثبات كده وراحة.
طلعت بالكوباية السخنة، ولسه فاضل عشر دقايق على الأتوبيس. الموقف بدأ يتملى بناس شكلهُم واضح إنهم مستنيين نفس الأوتوبيس.

مستنية الأتوبيس… المرة دي بالقهوة! ☕️

وفجأة شُفته: الأوتوبيس قاعد أصلاً على الناحية التانية من الشارع، خمس خطوات مننا.
بس لما الساعة ضربت معاد الرحلة، السواق خرج من مكانه، لفّ بالعربية برّة المحطة، دخل الشارع الرئيسي، عمل يو-تيرن كامل، ورجع تاني علشان يركن قدامنا بكل نظام.
قولّي/لي إنك في ألمانيا من غير ما تقولّي/لي إنك في ألمانيا . 😏🇩🇪

الأتوبيس كان بعيد خمس خطوات بس

✨ الجزء الخامس – زيارة مصر المفاجئة

ركبنا الأوتوبيس، واخترت كرسي ورا وحوليّ شوية رجالة لابسين لبس عمال وبيتكلموا مع بعض. واحد فيهم لهجته تقيلة أوي، نص الكلام بيضيع مني، بس مش مهم — حسيت براحة وأنا جنبهم وبستمع ليهم وأنا عاملة تفسي مش واخدة بالي.

كنت مركزه ع التنبيهات بتاعة المحطات، عشان هنا لازم تضغط/ي على زرار الـ”STOP” الأحمر لو عايز/ة الأوتوبيس يقف، إلا لو في حد تاني مستني في المحطة دي. الاسم “Seehafen Fähre” (ميناء البحيرة/العبّارة) أخيرًا اتقال اسم المحطة، دست بسرعة، بس الأوتوبيس أخد حوالي ١٠ دقايق كمان لحد ما وصل.

وفي نص الطريق، الراجل اللي كان قاعد ورايا فجأة بدأ يحكي عن السواقة في مصر، وقد إيه الرخصة هناك رخيصة وسهلة. بيحلف إنها بتطلع في أسبوعين بـ١٦٠ يورو بس، بس ما تنفعش برّه مصر. ضحكت في سري من الطريق العجيب الالحوار أخده، كأن مصر قررت تركب الأوتوبيس معانا فجأة. كمل كلام عن الضرائب وأسعار العربيات بطريقة مش فهماها قوي ومعتقدش انها كانت صحيحة، بس ثقته في الكلام كانت مسلية كفاية.

وأخيرًا الأوتوبيس دخل على منطقة صناعية واسعة، مليانة شاحنات وعربيات متوزعة في وسع المكان، والسما لسة مغيمة جداً، ولسه مفيش أثر للبحر. الكل نزل، وأنا مشيت ورا الرجالة ناحية مبنى لونه أحمر باين عليه هو المبنى الصح . 🤔

جوه المكان كان هادي جدًا — شوية مسافرين، وماكينات تسجيل ذاتي، ومفيش موظفين باينين. بدأت أدور على شركة “StenaLine” اللي أنا حاجزة معاهم، بس اكتشفت بعد شوية إن الرحلة النهاردة متنظمة من “TT-Line.” ورقة صغيرة ملزوقة بسيلوتيب وموظفة ملهاش نفس تكلمني وجّهوني على مكتب تاني.

هناك استقبلتني ست كبيرة في السن شعرها أبيض قصير وابتسامتها ريحتني كتير. بعد برود الموظفة التانية، ذوقها ولطفها فاجئوني. قعدت تراجع التذكرة معايا وهي واخدة راحتها، وأكدت الكابينة، ما طلبتش حتى البطاقة، وادّتني كارت صغير مكتوب عليه رقم الكابينة، وهو كمان تذكرة الركوب. حسّيت براحة فورية — الحجز اشتغل تمام!

قالتلي بابتسامة وهي بتشاور على أوتوبيسات حمرا واقفة في صف برّة:
“الأوتوبيسات دي هتوصلكوا للعبّارة، هتبدأ تتحرك نص ساعة قبل الميعاد.”

ده معناه إني قدامي تقريباً ساعة فاضية — كفاية عشان آخد نَفَسي، وآكل حاجة خفيفة، وأحلى حاجة إن الشمس أخيرًا بدأت تطلع من ورا السحاب. هدية صغيرة كده بسيطة، على حافة البحر الأنا لحد دلوقتي مش شايفاه… 😁

للأسف خدت الصورة دي قبل الشمس ما تطلع

✨ الجزء السادس – مرفوضين سوا

الساعة عدّت بهدوء، من النوع اللي بيجري وإنت/ي مش واخد/ة بالك، كأن الانتظار نفسه نوع من التأمل. في الأول كنت أنا وست واحدة بس مستنيين، وبعد كده المكان بدأ يمتلئ بالمسافرين، كل واحد/ة داخل/ة بلمسته/ا الصغيرة على المشهد.

قدامي على الكنبة قاعدين زوجين كبارفي السن، الست عمالة تحكي بصوت عالي عن اكتشافها الجديد لحاجات في موبايلها، وكل شوية تصيح بانبهار كأنها أول مرة تمسكه. وراهم على طول في زوجين تانيين عكسهم تمامًا — هدوء وسكينة، بياكلوا سناكس سوا، من غير ولا كلمة.

وبعدين دخل شاب أشقر بالعجلة بتاعته، وقال بحماس رهيب:
“ممكن حد ياخد باله من عجلتي وأنا بشتري التذكرة؟”
قلتله فورًا: “أكيد!”، اتأثرت بطاقته وبثقته فينا.

القاعة قعدت تتملي بالتدريج، كأن المشهد مترتب بإيقاع لذيذ: تلات شباب شيلين شنط كبيرة على ظهرهم، منهم بنتين وولد بشعرأشقر مجعد لابس كوفيّة حمراء، وفيه زوجين صغيرين عمالين يحضنوا بعض قبل الفراق، وثلاث بنات لوحدهم زيي — واحدة منهم معاها كلب وشنطة ضخمة جدًا خلتني أحس إن شنطتي ولا حاجة جنبها. 🫣

وأخيرًا وصل أوتوبيس أحمر. كلنا اتحركنا في طابور منظم، بس السواق بدأ يهز راسه لكل تذكرة تتقدمله بنفس الجملة:
“Nein, auch nicht!”
(يعني: “لأ، برضه لأ!”)
واحد ورا التاني، رفض جماعي. ولما جيه دوري وأنا متوترة ومش فاهمة ايه البيحصل، وريته التذكرة، وراح قالهالي أنا كمان: “لأ، برضه لأ”
الكل ضحك، وأنا كمان. في لحظة صغيرة، بقينا كلنا مرفوضين سوا — وده في حد ذاته حاجة خليتنا نقرب من بعض شوية ولو للحظة فقط.

وقفنا على الرصيف نستنى ونستنى. ١٠ دقايق بقت ٢٠ دقيقة بقت ٣٠ دقيقة، وأنا شايفة سواق أوتوبيس تاني راكن بعيد بيحاول يفتح الباب بعنف ومش عارف وعمال رايح جي عالأتوبيس. قلت لنفسي: “هو ده بتاعنا؟” نص قلقانة، ونص متسلية من الموقف. عيني راحت تلقائيًا ناحية أربع ظباط شرطة بيوقفوا عربيات راجعة من العبّارة وبيفتشوها. المشهد مضايق شوية، بس زي الكل، ما قدرتش أمنع نفسي من البص.

وأخيرًا، أوتوبيسنا الحقيقي وصل — سليم، شغال، من غير دراما، متأخر نص ساعة بالتمام. ركبنا بسرعة واحنا حسين بالراحة الجماعية، وأهو كده رسميًا بقينا في طريقنا للعبّارة. 🎊

✨ الجزء السابع – متاهة العبّارة

الأوتوبيس وصَلّنا قدام عبّارة ضخمة جداً، يمكن أكبر واحدة شفتها في حياتي. بس دخولها طلع أصعب مما توقعت…

نزلت من الأتوبيس وأنا شايلة الكاميرا، وأنا مش عارفة أبدأ أصور ولا أجري ورا الناس عشان ما أتُهش منهم، خصوصًا إن مفيش حد حوالينا ممكن أسأله على الطريق. مشيت ورا ثلاثة مسافرين معايا شكلهم عارفين هما رايحين فين، وداخلنا على الجراج الكبير اللي يشبه كهف، واسع كفاية لحوالي ٣٠ عربية نقل ومئات السيارات .

هنا، واحدة من المسافرات اللي ماشية معانا فجأة كسرت الصمت وقالت:
“انتو فعلاً عارفين انتو رايحين فين، ولا بس ماشيين ورا بعض؟” 😅

اعترفت إني كنت ماشية وراهم لإني مشفتش سلم برة العبارة واني اتطمنت بعدم اعتراض السواق لما شافنا داخلين. عشان أتأكد ناديت على التلاتة القدامي وسألتهم بلطف:
“متأكدين إنكم عارفين الطريق؟”
واحدة منهم لفّت راسها، قالت “آه” سريعة، وكملت مشي. بس بعد شوية خطوات زيادة لقينا نفسنا في طريق مسدود بين الشاحنات، مفيش أي مخرج. 😅

المسافرة الكانت شكة في الخطة استغلت الفرصة وبدأت تدينا محاضرة سريعة عن الأمان بالعبّارة — الظاهر كان المفروض نركب من بره عن طريق سلم والإحنا بنعملوا دة خطر جداً. بمزيج من الحيرة والإحراج رجعنا، بس أول ما وصلنا برة لقينا ان ما فيش سلم أصلاً. البنت بدأت تتوتر وتدور على حد تسأله نعمل ايه لكن مفيش حد خالص… شفنا بس راجلين لابسين جاكيتات لونها نيون أصفر لكن واقفين بعيد ومركزين في ارشاد عربيات النقل ومشغولين أوي. ولا حد فينا اتجرأ يقاطعهم في اللي بيعملوه.

الست اللي دلّت الطريق في الأول انتهزت هي الفرصة دلوقتي وأصرت إن ده الطريق الصح اللي هي دايمًا بتاخده، فمشينا وراها تاني اتجاه الجراج. المرة دي لاحظت من بعيد صف من الأبواب اللي فيها سلالم ومصاعد. أشرت عليهم، وبدأنا نتجه ليهم واحنا بنضحك على الموقف الغريب ده.

عند الباب، الراجل أبو شعر مجعد وكوفيّة داس على زرار أسود ضخم، وبدأ الباب يفتح أوتوماتيك. وقفنا عند مفترق طرق تاني — نروح فين دلوقتي؟ نطلع السلالم ولا ناخد المصعد وهل ده الباب الصح أصلاً؟ كان فيه ٣ أبواب تانية في الممر…

وأنا بحاول أفهم الوضع لاحظت علامات كبيرة فوق كل باب، متطابقة مع الحروف على التذكرة بتاعتي. حاولت ألفت نظر الكل للملاحظة ده، بس محدش كان مركز معايا، فقلت أوكيه، أنا عن نفسي هتحرك… شورتلهم ورحت أنا على الباب المكتوب عليه “A” — الكابينة بتاعتي هناك.

لقيت اتنين عمال واقفين هناك ونظروا ليّ وأنا مستنية المصعد. مزاجهم ما كانش مرحّب، فاخترت أطلع السلالم بدل المصعد. لحد ما وصلت في النص ولقيت خريطة فهمت منها إني لازم أطلع للدور التاسع. فقررت أستنى المصعد لكن لقيته بطئ ومليان ناس… فقلت أوكيه مش من نصيبي هكمل طلوع على رجلي وأهو تمرين للأيام الجية.

خطوة ورا خطوة، بين حيطان برتقالية، بعد ما عديت اتنين بيركبوا نور في السقف وكام باب مش مفهوم بيودي على فين، لقيت نفسي وصلت أخيرًا لممر واسع وهادئ جدًا. العبّارة أصبحت شبه فندق مودرن… — حيطان منقوشة، إضاءات LED ناعمة، سجادة مريحة تحت رجلي… وهدوء رهيب. قابلت بس اتنين تايهين بيدوّروا على الكابينة بتاعتهم.

وفجأة، في نص ممر بعد مشي كتير، ظهر الرقم السحري: ٩٥١٩. كابينتي! دخلت التذكرة في الفتحة، استنيت القفل ينور أخضر، وحسيت بشعور راحة كبيييير مالي قلبي… 😌

الجزء الثامن – عائمة بسعادة 🌊

الكبينة جميلة جدًا. نضيفة، واسعة، وفيها منظر للبحر — وكمان حمام ودش! كنت متخيلة كبينة ضيقة ومقفولة، يا دوبك أقدر أنزل فيها شنطتي على الأرض بس ده أحلى من المتوقع بكتير ومديني إحساس كده بالملاذ الصغير على السفينة الضخمة دي.

بعد ما صورت أول خمسين صورة وفيديو مددت عالسرير وقعدت أتفرج بره الشباك والمينا بيعدي قدامي بالراحة… عيني راحت للموج والرغاوي العمالة تتكون حولين المركب، منظر فيه حاجة مريحة جداً… ومش قادرة أصدق المركب عالية إزاي… كإني في الدور الخامس مثلاً، وكمان لسة فيه أدوار فوقي.

الهدوء هنا غريب، فيه ضوضاء بيضاء مستمرة وضغط بسيط في الهوا محسسني براحة . منظر البحر مع الجو ده مخليني أحس اني وصلت وقادرة أرتاح… وقعدت أشكر نفسي إني صرفت شوية فلوس زيادة عشان أجرب الكبينة دي.

بعد نص ساعة استراحة ومدّ رجلي دخلت مود الاستكشاف 🕵️‍♀️. لبست الجزمة وبدأت أتجول في الفيري — متاهة في حد ذاتها. لوحات بتِرشِد في كل مكان، ساونا هنا (يا ريتني كنت عارفة من قبلها!)، ٣ مطاعم في اتجاهات مختلفة هناك، محل كده في مكان ما — فقررت إني معبرش اللوحات وأمشي ورا أصوات الضحك والمزيكا الجية من بعيد.

لقيت الأصوات شدّاني لدور تاني ثم تالت، ولقيت حوالي خمس مناطق جلوس مختلفة؛ واحدة فيها جو صالون، التانية فيها جو مكتبة، والباقي مزيج بين كافتيريا وقاعدة انتظارأنيقة. التنوع ده عجبني جدًا! وبعد خطوتين تلاتة كمان لقيت سطوح في الهواء الطلق مليان شمس.

الخروج بره كان احساسه فعلاً منعش ومهدئ للأعصاب… آشعة الشمس متسربة من وسط الضباب والجو هادي ومريح جداً…. اتنين رجالة لابسين هدوم شغل بيشربوا كباية بيرة كبيرة، و كراسي الاسترخاء مليانة ناس ممددة ونعسانة وواخدة راحتها خالص… في كبار السن قاعدين علي سلالم خشب بيتكلموا أو بيقروا كتب، وشابين ممددين في الشمس. قعدت أتمشى ببطء وأنا بتأمل في كل حاجة — الهدوء، الضوء الدافي، والحركة الخفيفة حوالي.

رجعت جوه وجبت معايا مشروب شوكولاتة سخنة، وبعدها رجعت للسلالم الخشبية، قعدت وغمضت عينيّ. خليط الفرح والهدوء والمراقبة الحلوة ودفء الشوكولاتة كان أحسن لحظة استراحة وسط الرحلة. ☕💛

الجزء التاسع – العشاء والضوء الذهبي 🌅

في النهاية يستدعيني الواقع وأقرر أدخل جوه وأشوف حاجة تتاكل. الإختيارات النباتية محدودة، بس سوسيس نباتي مع بطاطس هيمَشي الحال. اخترت ركن هادي في الكافتيريا يديني شوية احساس بالخصوصية ومنظر رائع على البحر، ورؤية شاملة لبقية المكان.

كل لقمة كنت باكلها بإستمتاع وأنا مدركة ان الأيام الجاية هتكون رحلات في أماكن منعزلة من غير محلات أو مطاعم، ومن غير إمكانية أطبخ وجبات دافية فاخرة. فكل بطاطساية وكل لقمة سوسيس كانت ذو قيمة عالية جداً. 😌

مع حوالي ٣ ساعات قبل الوصول، رجعت الكبينة أمدد في السرير شوية وأعمل جلسة تأمل قصيرة، وأنا بتفرج على آشعة الشمس الذهبية وهي بتنعكس على المية. لبست هدوم مريحة وقعدت على السرير وغمضت عينيّ، والمزيكا هادية في الخلفية، متخيلة آشعة الشمس زي آشعة حب بتملاني من راسي لرجلي. ببطء، استسلمت لأحلى نومة أخدتها في فترة طويييلة. 😴✨

منظر الغروب من الكبينة بتاعتي

الجزء العاشر – صبر، شوية صبر، وكمان شوية صبر

المنبّه صحّاني بهدوء، كأنّه بيهمسلي، والعبارة على وشك الوصول. فضلت شويّة معلّقة بين الحلم والصحيان، بحاول أسرق كام دقيقة نوم زيادة، لحد ما إعلان من طاقم السفينة رجّعني للواقع: عندنا نص ساعة لازم كلنا نسيب فيها الكابينة. يوووه!

طبعاً نظرتي راحت للشمس البتغرب فوق البحر وكإنها رسمة قدامي، مكافأة صغيرة على إنهم صحّوني من أحلى نومة. مدّيت جسمي، جمّعت حاجتي، وبصّيت نظرة أخيرة للكابينة بشكر على كل لحظة فيها. بعدين رُحت ناحية المطعم، ولقيت مكان قدّام تلات شبابيك كبار بيطلّوا على البحر، وقعدت هناك بكاميرتي أراقب نور الشمس وهو بيتغيّر.

بعد شوية جه إعلان تاني بيقول إن “المسافرين اللي معاهمش عربيات” يستنّوا جنب المطعم عشان يوجّهونا من هناك فقمت ومشيت ناحيته. بعد ييجي عشردقايق بدأوا الناس التانية الكانوا مستنيين معايا في روستوك والكانوا تايهين معايا في الجراج ييجوا – الراجل بشعره الكيرلي والكوفيّة والبنتين صحابه والمسافرة اللي معاها كلب والست اللي كانت طول مرحلة الإنتظار حضنَة حبيبها. واستنّينا… عشر دقايق، خمستاشر، عشرين… ولا كلمة.

الملل بدأ يزحف ما بينا، فالست قررت تكسر الصمت وسألتني بالألماني أنا رايحة فين. قلتلها دي أول مرّة ليا في السويد، وهمشي لوحدي من يارنا لحد إسكيلستونا (هحكي أكتر عن التفاصيل دي في البوستات الجاية!). ابتسمت وقالت إنها عايشة في السويد بس لسه عندها مشوار بالقطر بعد ما ننزل، وشجّعتني بحماسها على الرحلة. بعد دقايق من الإنتظار ضحكت وقالت إن كل حاجة في السويد ماشية ببطء رهيب… بس في سري سألت نفسي: هو في أبطأ من ألمانيا؟ معتقدش…

قلت بهزار: “ده اختبار صبر حقيقي” وإحنا بنعدي الأربعين دقيقة واحنا لسه مستنّيين. لقيت كله بيضحك، وعيوننا بتتابع الموظفين اللي عمالين ينظفوا الكافيتيريا قدامنا ويهزروا مع بعض من غير ما يقولوا حاجة. واحد فيهم ماسك جهاز لاسلكي، والكاشيرة التانية بصّتلنا بنظرة اعتذار خفيفة وهي بتنضّف في أدواتها. وفجأة، راجل لابس جاكيت أصفر ظهر من لا أدرى أين وكلنا مبحلقين فيه بعينين مندهشة… وزي ما جِه لقيناه اختفى ورا باب تاني من غير كلمة. آه يا ربّي…

وأخيرًا لقينا راجل تاني شاب، شعره غامق وبنيته قوية، جلنا مبتسم وقال إننا خلاص نقدر ننزل. بصوت لطيف سأل لو حد محتاج مساعدة يشيل حاجة. كلنا وقفنا متفاجئين، كأننا مش مصدّقين وأكيد سمعنا غلط. بصّ على البنت اللي معاها الكلب وشنطتها العملاقة، سألها لو تحب يشيلها. عينيها فتحت من الدهشة وقالتله آه طبعًا! ومدّتله الشنطة. وبعد ثانيتين، الدنيا كلها انفجرت ضحك لما شُفناه بيتمايل تحت الوزن ويقول مصدوم: “دي تقيلة كده ليه!”

مشينا وراه في ممرات السفينة وعدّينا على السطح اللي السماء فوقه بقت لونها كحلي غامق، ونزلنا سلّم طويل، وبعدين ركبنا الأسانسير. البنت اللي شنطتها تقيلة اتقالها تستنّى مع المجموعة التانية لإن الأسانسير مكنش مكفينا كلنا، فبمجرد ما الباب قفل، الراجل رجع يضحّكنا تاني وهو بيقول: “أنا مش عارف فيها إيه الشنطة دي، بس دي مصيبة!”

لما وصلنا تحت في الجراج الضخم استنينا عند الباب، وقعدت أتفرج على عربيات النقل وهي بتعدّي، بعضها شايل عربيات جديدة لسة خارجة من المصنع. انبهرت تاني بقد إيه المركب دي ضخمة.

الراجل ودّعنا بودّ، وقال باي لطيفة قبل ما نركب الأتوبيس اللي هيودّينا لباب الميناء. الدنيا كانت خلاص مضلمة بس نسمة خفيفة كانت لسه مدفية الهوا، مخلّية الإحساس كله مريح، وروحي مليانة شوق لبداية المغامرة.

وأنا نازلة من الباص، عامل في الميناء مسكلنا الباب عشان نعدّي، فعدّيت بسرعة، مسحولة في أفكاري وأنا بدوّر على الطريق الصح. ولما لفّيت أسلّم على بقية المجموعة، اكتشفت إن الكل اتحرّك خلاص ناحية محطة القطر وإني فَوِتُّهم.انتابني شعور بالحزن خفت يكون بان عليّا لا مبالاة، بس خلاص، اللحظة راحت. سلّمت عليهم في قلبي، وقررت أركّز على الهدوء اللي جوّايا… الهدوء اللي بيقول “وصلتي خلاص”.

المدينة حولي ساكتة وشوارعها فاضية… لقيت أتوبيس واحد بيعدّي، واتنين بنات مراهقات بيتكلموا بصوت عالي، كل واحدة ماسكة موبايل وسكوتر في نفس الوقت. الضلمة، والهدوء، والهوا الساكن، كلهم حضنوني وأنا ماشية بسرعة ناحية الشقة اللي حاجزاها لليلة. حسّيت إنّي فعلاً وصلت.

بعد كيلومترين وصلت الشقة اللي دخولها الحمد لله عدى بسهولة. أول ما دخلت، خليت شنطتي تقع على الأرض بنفس عميييق من الارتياح. بعدها أخدت دوش سخن، وأكلت عشا بسيط، وبعدين قفلت السطارة، وسِبت ذكريات اليوم تزورني مرة أخيرة قبل ما قفلت عيني… وأنا متحمسة على اليوم البعده وبتسآءل ايه يا ترى هتكون مفاجآته …

…ولسه معنديش فكرة فعلاً اليوم البعده إزاي مليان مفاجآت


لو قريت/ي لحد هنا، أحب أقول لك/ي شكرًا من قلبي، بجد. ❤️ وجودك معايا من أول فصل في الرحلة دي معناه كبير جدًا بالنسبة لي، ومش قادرة أستنى أشاركك الباقي. البوست الجاي إن شاء الله هيكون جاهز خلال أسبوع أو اتنين – خليك/ي متابع/ة!

💛 ولو استمتعت/ي بقراءة مذكراتي، وحابب/حابة تدعمني/تدعميني، ممكن تشتري لي فنجان قهوة عن طريق هذا اللينك. ☕ أنا بعشق القهوة، وصدقني/صدقيني دي من أسرع الطرق اللي ممكن تخلّيني مبسوطة أوي. ☺️ 💁🏻‍♀️

🖼️ ولو حبيت/ي الصور وحابب/حابة تطلب/ي منها نسخة مطبوعة أو تستخدم/ي/ها كـخلفية، ابعت/ي لي رسالة عن طريق الcontact! 🫶


Day 4 of “I am doing this again” – Surendorf (Schwedeneck) > Eckernförde

Hello everyone, it’s been a while. 👋 Once again, another unplanned delay in continuing this series, but life is full of unplanned delays, so that’s okay. Over the past few months, it’s been really difficult to even imagine coming back here and continuing to write anything related to my hiking trip, let alone remembering it. The world has been quite dark lately, and it’s been challenging to find a way to accept this darkness and still move forward with my life. However, amidst my various attempts at coping, a sudden desire to return to this blog and resume writing emerged, and I chose to embrace it immediately. As a means to heal, my Soul yearned to recall my little adventures on foot, walking through the most beautiful places, forever captured in my heart, and luckily, also on camera. And the Soul knows best, doesn’t it? So, here I am. Attempting a restart. And I am genuinely excited about sharing more and more with you.

So set yourself up in a comfy setting, make a tea or a coffee, and join me on the 4th day of my hiking adventure. 🌿 🥾

I suggest listening to David Helpling’s album “A Sea Without Memory” (Spotify / YouTube) , while reading. 🌊 Also, make sure to watch the videos in 720p or 1080p.

Part 1 – Shadow Plays and Dry Porridge

09:00 AM. I open my eyes, immediately captivated by a sweet shadow play on the curtains. Plants cast their shadows, as they dance with the wind, and I listen to the sound of little songbirds, greeting the morning sunshine. Oh, what a beautiful day.

Shadows know I love their play

Despite waking up at 9 AM, which is much later than planned, I feel excited about the day. At the same time, I realize I haven’t slept enough; my body craves more rest. Nevertheless, knowing I’ve got a long day ahead of me, I know I must get up. I’m sure that once I’m on my way, I’ll feel better and more energized. So, come on, let’s do this, I tell myself.

I make myself a coffee, enjoying the first few sips, as I gaze outside, my heart welcoming the sunshine I am about to bathe in. It’s so incredibly calm – nothing but the melodic sound of birds and the occasional passing car. In that moment, Berlin and its noise feel so far away.

A serene view from my window

I notice that the sun is shining at quite a high angle already, due to it being almost noon already, which means it will likely be very hot during my hike. I reassure myself that it’s going to work out somehow. Let’s try to wake up early tomorrow then, shall we?

10:00 AM. I start doing my morning stretches, breathing in the calmness before today’s adventure. But while I begin to pack, a wave of stress overcomes me, as I realize that the clothes I had hand-washed last night haven’t dried yet. Dammit! Frustrated, I hang them by the window in a haste, hoping the sunshine will speed up the process. After all, I need to wear several of those pieces today. But knowing I have to head out in half an hour, I realize it won’t make too much difference and that I’ll probably have to put them on in a slightly wet state. Oh well… In the meantime, I continue packing and reluctantly finish eating yet another serving of way too dry porridge. Ugh.

I attempt to calm myself down by recalling that Anne, my host, assured me I could check out whenever I choose to, because she and her husband won’t be around at this time, and there’s no one scheduled to arrive after me. So, chill, okay? Besides, I still have half an hour left anyway, with the usual checkout time set for 11 AM.

10:45 AM. I come to terms with the fact that the clothes aren’t going to dry off in time, so I decide to wear them as they are. After all, it’s a very sunny day, and I’ll be exposed to the sun for extended periods during my hike. They’ll dry off eventually. I use the remaining time to clean up and pack things up neatly. I briefly contemplate whether I should apply the sunscreen, but realizing it’s almost 11 AM, I choose to head out instead.

11:02 AM. Standing outside the door and feeling the warmth of the sun on my skin, I immediately realize that it would be idiotic to start the trip without sunscreen and ending up with a sunburn in the first half hour. Hmm. So I put down my heavy backpack, and begin applying sunscreen. Outside the door of the house, where I could’ve easily spent ten more minutes doing just that… what was I thinking? Why didn’t I just take advantage of the situation that allowed me to flexibly check out and apply sunscreen like a normal person? I mean… there’s no one here, after all. Slightly amused by this anxiety-induced unnecessary action, I take my first steps into this new day. After all, there really is no one around watching me anyway!

Part 2 – The Calmness and the Confusion

Beginning of my route towards the sea

The first part of my hike takes me from Surendorf, the village where I spent the night, towards the North, along a straight road surrounded by some fields, ending up at the Baltic Sea. All the exhaustion and sense of doubt I felt about not making it today vanishes, as I immerse myself in the tranquility around me and feel the warmth of the sun on my skin. There is not a single person around, just a few houses, with no sign of anyone around them.

A calm scene that feels like a dream

Moving forward, I enjoy the wide grassy field-like areas that start to surround me more and more. Up a small hill, I spot a row of houses surrounded by trees, and I pause for a moment to take my first photo of the hike.

A few steps later, the road takes a curve to the left, and I come across some cows calmly grazing on a small field, unaffected by my presence. On my right side, there’s a fenced-off area that gives off an industrial-military vibe somehow. A vibe I don’t perceive as very welcoming, so I try to move away as fast as I can. Still, not a single person is in sight, and all I hear are the trees rustling loudly in the wind, which is blowing quite strongly today.

Cows unaffected by my presence

I continue walking until I reach a confusing, bushy area by the sea. It seems like there are different paths I can take through the bushes, but they all lead to dead ends or the sand. Komoot, my navigation app, keeps telling me to go left, but where?! I see no exit and no clear path. I panic slightly at the thought that there might be no path available and that I might have to walk on the sand, but fortunately, I decide to walk back and take a second look at the original path. Indeed, I spot a very small wooden stairway, barely visible between the bushes, leading to a path through an arch of trees, which cast a deep shadow on it. Oh okay, phew!

Hard to find paths

What is not so reassuring is the realization that I have to walk around half a kilometer, exposed to the sun on my left side, while the bushes, which could provide excellent cover, are on my right. Great. That must be an amazing path in the midst of a sunny winter day, but today it is not. However, I have no other choice, so I hold one of my water bottles in my hand to easily take a small sip every 100 meters and walk ahead.

I know that I can do this, if I stay focused and resist the temptation to stop every few meters to take a photo. So, I maintain my focus, glancing ahead at the upcoming trees where I can find some shelter from the sun for a few minutes.

Soon enough, I reach a tiny, dense forest, providing me with much-needed relief from the heat. Every few steps I take, I pass by spots where one could theoretically go swimming, but they are filled with stones and are quite swampy. And they sure smell swampy. One of them, a particularly tiny spot, is even marked as a dog beach. LOL.

The dog beach

As the sun’s heat has already drained quite a bit of my energy, I linger by the dog beach for a few minutes, savoring the cool, humid air, while just resting. I keep the break short, since I’ve only covered 2 km so far, and it’s already 12:30 PM. It’s not too bad, but this day is going much slower than I anticipated, so I know I can’t afford to take too long of a break. Also, I can foresee that the upcoming path will be a difficult one, as most of it seems to be going along the beach with barely any shade to shield me from the sun.

Fortunately, a few steps later, as I approach Jellenbeck, a small village, I spot a little bench, facing the sea, partially shaded, and decide to sit down for a proper break. I get out a sandwich and some blueberries from my backpack, and start stocking up on some energy. An elderly couple passes by with their dog and greets me shyly. They are probably like the third and fourth person I’ve encountered today.

My break spot

Having stocked up on some energy, I get up, swing my heavy backpack onto my shoulders, and keep going. Just as I’m about to approach Jellenbeck, an older man with a bike stops me and asks me if there is a beach coming up. I, totally caught off guard by the question (and genereally always getting nervous when someone asks me for directions, even if I live in the area), totally blank out. “Umm, I’m not sure, but I just passed by a dog beach… but it’s not really a beach… but if you walk further towards, umm… ummm…”, and I totally blank out on the name of the village I just spent the night in. “Umm, what is it called, I was just there… oh yes! Surendorf. You might find a spot there, but it might just be a dog beach…”, I try to help out desperately, but I can see the man already half-stepping away, thanking me and preparing himself to continue on his way, realizing I’m not the help he expected. How embarrassing.

Oh well, I continue. I walk along a big green, beautiful field, with the beach to my right. Sun still burning my skin on my left side. Ugh, this is going to be a tough one. But at least it’s not raining, and I can appreciate a really glorious view. I enjoy the feeling of the high grass and the little flowers brushing against my legs, as I walk through a narrow path, surrounded by dense bushes.

Soon, I reach a camping site, Campingplatz Grönwohld. Luckily, it’s publicly accessible, and I can just walk on its asphalted road. It’s very quiet, with little activity happening around. I pass dozens of camping vans, many with dogs lazily sun-bathing outside. One dog lazily looks up at me, observes me for a couple of seconds, as I slightly smile, begging it not to bark at me… and it lays its head back down again. Phew.

I encounter maybe three or four people standing outside their vans, who greet me warmly. At least I don’t feel out of place walking through here with my hiking gear. I fit right in. I’m dying to make some photos, but I let it be, so I don’t bother anyone.

I’m amazed at how serene it feels here. I’m usually not fond of camping sites (in Germany you’re not allowed to camp just anywhere; you have to go to specific sites, designated for camping, and they’re often just full of vans closely packed together), as it would contradict the whole idea of seeking peace and solitude. But here, it seems relatively quiet and peaceful. But then again, I’m walking along the edge, close to the water and am not in the center of it…

A satellite view of the camping place Gröhnwald

A few steps later, almost at the exit, I come across a group of guys heading out to the sea with their surfing equipment. I walk a few meters parallel to them until we all reach the sand, and I realize I need to take off my shoes. Nooo. I’m way too tired and again in desperate need of a break. So a few steps later in the sand, I spot a tiny dune with some grassy bushes on it, and I decide to stop there, eat an energy bar, and just rest for a few minutes.

And just as I’m about to take off my sling bag, a small disaster strikes. The bag falls into the sand, and I realize while picking it up that I hadn’t zipped it shut. I see my brandnew camera, my beloved Fuji XT-5, and my wallet in the sand. Fuck. I take the camera off the ground and find it filled with sand, in every slit, in every hole, in every millimeter where sand could possibly fit in. In that moment, I feel like crying.

After letting out a long, frustrated sigh, I pull myself together and accept the situation. I can see that I am not focused today. But it’s the way it is; sometimes it’s just not the right day. I search for that iPhone sim card slot opener that I always carry in my wallet and use it to pick out every grain of sand that I can take out from the camera. Some blowing here, some blowing there, some picking here, some there. After around 20 minutes, I feel like the camera could be somewhat salvaged. Relief washes over me. I gotta be way more careful.

And next, as I’m packing the camera away and searching for that much-craved energy bar, my phone falls into the sand. 😊

Part 3 – Scorching Heat

After calming down and recentering around today’s purpose, I take a look at the upcoming path on Komoot (my navigation app) and mentally prepare. There is a nature reserve area coming up, with a path I can supposedly take. However, I can already foresee that it won’t work out due to my spiderweb phobia… (if you’re visiting me for the first time, some context: Ever since I was a child, I’ve had a deadly fear of spider webs. Not as much of the spider (but who likes spiders anyways?), as of the web. I have not yet found an explanation for it. Here is a very entertaining story of how intense this fear can get and what shape it can take, from my last hike. Scroll all the way to “Stage 5 – Sincerely fucking real terror” 😊)…and knowing these areas are usually very densely grown and spiderwebs will be blocking the paths.

An elderly couple passes through the dune I am sitting in front of, while I pack. A few minutes later, I find myself catching up with them, as I walk through the beautiful dune. The dune is filled with all sorts of grass, some of it blossoming. The dryness, the sand, the sound of cicadas give me a bit of a savannah vibe, which might sound like a strange feeling to have by the sea, but a feeling I very much enjoy due to its familiarity with Egypt, my home country.

I still decide to try out that path that Komoot is showing me and start heading towards it. I walk through more dunes, and I actually spot a couple of men in the nude, sunbathing between the bushes. How? The weather is so hot! But the sight gives me the feeling like I could be looking a painting… beautiful green and bushy dunes, surrounded by the sea on one side, and the forest on the other, and nude, human bodies spread all over them… surely an amusing sight.

As I get closer to the nature reserve, my fears manifest, and I can see that there’s barely a path to walk on. It’s overgrown with wild bushes, and the forest is quite dark due to the dense growth. Instead of wasting time, considering I still have about 15 km to walk, I decide to just take the sunny path along the sand instead. This will be tough, but I have no other choice.

I reapply some sunscreen and set my mind to walking through without a break until I reach the cliffy area in about 2 km, which will be shielding me from the sun. So I gotta stand walking for about 30 minutes in direct sunlight, without a break. Well, this shall be an interesting experience, off we go!

Luckily, the shore makes it easy to walk on. It’s not too soft, and little pebbles make it easy to find a grip. I walk and walk, water bottle in my hand, taking a little sip after every 300 meters (that trick really works super well!). After a couple of minutes, I find another beautiful bushy area, with lots of reed along the sand.

This is reed. And this photo was taken by Tao Yuan on Unsplash.

I see more people nudely sunbathing, some of them standing between the reed and talking, and others lying on the sand, probably coming from another camping site right by the beach. It’s such a peaceful, serene scene, and my whole being longs to just lying on the sand and embracing this quiet as well. But I can’t afford to spend such a long time in the sun at this point in my trip, and so I keep walking. Feeling a bit awkward about the contrast between my abundance of clothing and gear, and the utter lack of it on everyone else, but funnily enough, barely anyone is even looking at me. And even if – so what?, I gotta keep reminding myself.

Part 4 – A Sea That Is My Own

A few minutes later, I finally reach a more cliffy, shady area. With quite some pride about my perseverance and good planning on how to get through the sunny area, I allow myself a short break, while enjoying the sight of the beautiful scenery, hugged by a slight haze, waiting for me to dive into it. And what was filled with dozens of people, is now utterly empty. No soul walking through but mine.

The sea calls for me

After walking in silence for the first few minutes, I choose to now embrace the beautiful energy of my most beloved hiking music companion – the album Treasure by David Helpling – which feels like wordless poetry in my ears, accompanying my spirit as I walk through those heavenly scenes. What was a pure coincidental find 4 years ago has not left my side since then.

And so, I walk, enjoying a slight breeze every once in a while, cooling off my skin, and smelling the scents of the salty seawater and the algae that dance with the waves.

The ground is filled with stones and pebbles, giving my feet a tight grip as I walk, which allows me to move in a sort of trance-like state, one step harmonically following the other, while I listen to the melodies surrounding me. My muscles hurt, but it’s a gentle pain, a pain that feels like a symbol of strength, like an honor to be having and surpassing.

A few minutes later, I encounter a man standing silently at the tip of the sandy ground, looking out into the sea. The sight warms my heart, and I choose to do the same, as soon as he leaves his spot. I put my backpack down for a couple of minutes, look out into the sea, and thank the Universe for sending me that man to inspire me to take a moment of quiet, to express my deep love for it and everything it holds, and to pray for more signs on how to grow and how to achieve union with my Soul. Like I feel I’m doing right now.

And then I continue.

Around 500 meters later, I find a little safe, sandy spot, so inviting to sit in for a few minutes, and so I give in to the craving and let my backpack fall into the sand and myself on top of it. Shoes and socks off, arms spread to the side. Oh, the relief!

As the spot is entirely in the shade, the sand is rather cold and serves as a perfect base to cool me down. Also, a light, chilly breeze relaxes me, and makes me realize what a difference it makes, when there is even the slightest bit of wind. I remember how yesterday I was also surrounded by a cliff, but how stuffy the air was and how it made me feel so suffocated and faint. But now, I get to just relax… with nothing in sight but the sea, and some grass dancing with the wind. A little piece of paradise, just for me.

Part 5 – Of Lost Places and Golden Hour

It takes an immense amount of willpower to get up again and not spend the rest of the day in my little spot. But I have to go. I’m sooooo slow today, my energies feel hard to keep awake. But I still got around 14 km to walk, and part of me is in complete denial about it. I can also see on the map that the upcoming 5 km I will be entirely exposed to the sun again, which worries me a bit. Lucky me with the sun, no?

Of course, there is always a chance to stop at the nearest village, take the bus and end the hike for the day. But where is the fun in that? Even with such difficult conditions like today, I find it hard to make this decision, feeling like I’d be giving up. We can do this, I tell myself and all entities within me that are doubting today’s journey. So after some proper studying of the map, I decide to walk through very focused, to not interrupt the flow of walking by stopping to make any photos at all. I shall only stop to reapply my sunscreen every 2 kilometers, that’s all. And if I find a bush with some shade, I may take a small break. But judging by the looks of it, there will be no chance, so staying focused is key, if I want to make it.

Indeed, I was right. There is not a single shady spot for the next 3 kilometers! Just sand and very few trees, which are too far away from my walking path, so their shade doesn’t reach me. But my plan seems to be working, as I manage to find a flow of walking that makes it bearable. What amuses me and confuses me at the same time is that I again find dozens of people lying in this scorching sun, tanning, while I just wander through feeling like I’m burning, trying to avoid the sun at any costs. I feel a bit awkward, always feeling like someone is judging me for the way I look with all my stuff, probably knowing how to do it better. But I try to focus on the music and reminding myself that I am doing great. I have made it this far after all.

3 kilometers in the sun

After 3 km of walking and convincing myself I am not going to die today, I find a small abandoned, decaying building that is surrounded by lots of trees and bushes, a little off-path. With enormous relief, I find a shady spot in the grass, and I just let myself fall, without even taking off my backpack. Phewwwww!

Of lost places that I’m lucky to find

I cannot even find the words to describe the relief that overtakes me. I basically just spend the first five minutes doing nothing but lying down and resting with no motion at all. Just listening to the cicadas (again: savannah vibes!) and the grass moving with the wind.

I feel my body cooling down and resting with every passing minute, and after a while, I find the strength to start taking pictures again and to get out something to eat.

Proof I’ve made it so far with a smile

I choose to eat some blueberries, which give me the feeling of staying hydrated, so I can lay off the water for a bit. And then I just do the usual – reapplying sunscreen, checking the map, enjoying the surrounding. I get up and look around for a little bit, taking a closer look at this building. It seems like there’s been some activity here, judging by the empty beer bottles lying around, a mattress, and shards of glass everywhere. Needless to say, it is also filled with spiderwebs, so I don’t get too close.

Time to keep going. It’s almost 5 PM, and I still got 2 km to walk in the sun, until I find the next forest to seek shade in. But I’m excited about the upcoming part, because the scenery changes a bit, going along a lagoon and some fields, and I will have some asphalted ground to walk on.

And so, I get ready and head out. I walk towards the lagoon, enjoying the sight of the calm, glistening water. The first 800 meters of the sun-filled path are luckily asphalted and go along the lagoon. The area is a little busier than what I’d been walking through before. A couple of cars pass by, and lots of cyclists pass me. It’s tough to walk with the sun shining directly at me again, and I can feel that I’m still feeling low on energy, but I try to enjoy every moment as best as I can.

A sea of geese

At least the area is mesmerizingly beautiful. After I pass the lagoon, I am greeted by high bushes of grass and reed of all forms and colors. As it’s basically golden hour already, the sun shines through the grass in a beautiful golden hue, giving it such a warm tone, while the cicadas fill the air with their melodies, beautifully accompanying the music of Empty Jar by Phaeleh, another hiking favorite of mine.

Them golden hues!

Suddenly, I see a couple of people stopping with their bikes in front of me, while looking at me. With some confusion, I take off my headphones and realize the woman is the host of my last Airbnb, Anne! She introduces me to her husband and tells me how they were heading for their Feierabend-swim (“Feierabend” is a German term referring to the end of the workday and the start of leisure time, or literally “celebration”). She points out with some curiosity that I didn’t get very far yet, which upsets me a bit, but I just tell her that it’s very hot and it’s been difficult to walk in this sun. Still, I enjoy this unexpected sweet encounter that somehow energizes me a bit, making me notice how unenergized I was the moment before.

Places I could spend lifetimes in

That is one thing that is a challenge about hiking. On the one hand, it’s an incredibly precious setting to have the quiet and this immense space just for yourself, and to walk and do everything in your own pace. On the other hand, if you’re having a bad day, it can turn into a bit of a very draining setting, with your thoughts sucking out all the energy that you are fighting so hard to maintain. In such moments, I do miss the human interaction that can serve as a little refresher in between. But I also consider it a meditative, self-induced endurance test, a chance to see how you really feel and think about yourself and the things you have in your life. And it’s always amazing to see how your thoughts take on a different form after a few days of getting used to the the calmness and the absence of endless impulses usually surrounding you.

After a few more steps, I finally reach the cliffy foresty area. Amazingly, I see lots of people with horses by the water! I’ve never seen this sight before and remember my childhood days, where riding a horse in the forest or by the water would have literally made me the happiest person to have ever lived.

It takes me a while to find the path leading up the cliff, and after some short moments of panic, I am relieved to find myself walking underneath the trees, protecting me with their shadows. Ah, what relief!

It takes a bit of effort to walk through for two reasons; it’s quite hilly, and there’s the usual spiderweb slowing down issue. I notice with every step I take that I am more and more tired and my motivation is at 10%, and I can’t find the strength to talk myself into pushing through the last 10 km, acknowledging that it’s already 6:30 PM. So I sit down to take a last break and decide to make the difficult decision of taking the bus instead. I try to comfort myself by remembering that the 10km I walked in the sun today should be counted as double the amount, considering the amount of energy it cost me. Also, it’s just not my day today, and that’s okay.

So I choose to try and enjoy the break, looking out at the sea, and preparing to walk the last 2 km through the forest, to the bus station. It’s getting dark, and I crave a warm shower and the chance to rest my tired legs.

Starting my route back, I try to find a path that is void of spiderwebs, and am amazed that I find one relatively easy. But after taking a few steps in, I feel like something is off about this part of the forest. I wonder why it’s that empty of any spiderwebs. And why it generally feels so empty and lifeless somehow. I try not to give it too much thought, but then I randomly spot some green spots on the bark of the trees surrounding me, and it dawns on me that this part of the forest must be sick somehow. Wow. Humbled by the moment, I walk through in silence, looking at the sick trees, amazed how very subtle signs and observations awakened my intuition to something being off here, before I could really see anything.

Finally, in utter exhaustion, I reach the exit of the forest, which shall lead to the bus station. Immediately, I feel overwhelmed by the sounds of the cars driving by, feeling so violent, next to the peacefulness of the forest. I spot the lonely yellow pole that is supposed to be the bus station, seeing it devoured by enormous spiderwebs and spiders, trying to read the bus schedule from a slight distance. Oh no. The bus will come in 20 minutes, I read with some disappointment. Totally not a fan of the idea of standing there waiting, being an entertaining sight for car drivers, I decide to walk back into the forest and sit by the side of the path. With quite some anxiety that I might miss the bus, in case it comes too early, I keep my eyes glued to the exit, keen on spotting it and running like my life depends on it, if it comes.

But luckily, there is no need to do that. I walk to the station early enough, the bus comes on time, and a bad-mooded bus driver studies my unfamiliar transportation ticket, before motioning with his hand for me to go in. I sit down, so relieved about my decision. After all, I walked 16,3 km and that’s really not bad.

Reaching Eckernförde, the city I’m staying in, is a very interesting experience. It seems like a quite elegant city, and I feel a little odd with my messy appearance after the hike, as I walk towards the house I’ll be staying in. It seems like a quite fancy neighborhood, with big villas and high fences. I’m amused by the difference in surrounding I suddenly find myself in.

I finally reach the house I’m staying in and am very warmly greeted by Elke, my host, whom I will be sharing her apartment with for the night. It’s a very artistic apartment, put together with a lot of love and eye for detail, and I feel comfortable in it right away. A tidy, sweet little room awaits me, with two big windows, a fridge, a kettle and some cute Christmas lights and candles. I am so tired that I forget to make any photos and instead immediately head to the shower. Hugged by the hot water, muscles relaxing, and the sunscreen and sand all wiped away from my tanned skin, I feel so relieved to have made it, letting the day pass revue with a deep sense of gratitude… and deep excitement about the adventure that awaits me the next day.

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Today’s completed route:

“A” is where I spent the night (Surendorf), and “B” is where I decided to end the hike and take the bus towards “Eckernförde”

Trip stats:
approx. 16,3 km – 4 hrs 05 minutes (in motion) – 4,0 km/h (average speed)

If you’re interested to see the path I walked on komoot, follow this link:

https://www.komoot.de/tour/1294552276

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Day 3 of “I am doing this again” – Altenholz > Schwedeneck

♥︎ Before you read this: This is a long post, a story, and I pour my heart into writing every detail of it. I appreciate it so much, if you read it when you have some calm time and the space to immerse yourself in it, away from the everyday hecticness, to take it all in as best as you can. I suggest you make yourself a warm cup of coffee, or a cup of tea, or a drink that sets you in a relaxed mood, go to a place you love, and immerse yourself in what you are about to read. Thank you, with my whole heart, for taking the time to read my adventure. ♥︎

Also, make sure to watch the videos in 720p or 1080p.

Part 1 – New Day, New Strategy

06:50 AM, I make up with one open eye on my phone screen. 9 more minutes before my alarm goes off… But just as I’m about to doze off again, I realize I feel quite awake already and that it would be a pity to not take advantage of that. And so I decide to get up. I must have had a very deep sleep. It’s the quiet, I realize, a quiet you don’t get on a single night in Berlin.

The morning sun shines softly through the tiny window next to my bed and motivates me to start this day. Today shall be an exciting and beautiful day. Today is the first day I’m hiking outside of the city. The plan is to walk out of Altenholz, the village I spent the night in, then to pass by a village called Schilksee and from there to walk along the coastline, all the way to today’s destination – Surendorf (Schwedeneck).

Curious about what the day holds, I prepare my morning coffee, do my stretches and realize that my body feels much better than I expected it would feel. I went to bed so exhausted yesterday, but it seems the good sleep really had an impact. This calms me, as today’s plan is to walk a full 21 km. At almost 30 degrees, exposed to a full sun in some parts of the route.

But I thought of a new strategy yesterday, regarding hair, feet, skin, water intake, break frequency, and am excited to try it out today:

Instead of walking around with my hair half clipped together, I braid it (pretty duh actually and done this way on my last trek 3 years ago, but somehow totally forgotten this time).

I take off shoes and socks, whenever I take a break and cool off my feet.

I wear sunscreen right from the start, reapply it every couple of hours. A cap stays on at all times.

I take a break every 2-3 km, not every 5 km, and I always carry a water bottle in one hand, while I walk, instead of keeping it in my backpack. This way, there’s less weight on my back and it’s easier to take little sips every few hundred meters, to stay well hydrated in between, instead of taking a long, big sip every couple of kilometers, which makes it harder to ration the amount for the rest of the trip. And it somehow feels more effective and hydrating to take little sips regularly than that one big sip after a much longer time.

However it goes, it’s all gonna work out somehow, I tell myself.

A cozy kitchen with a warm morning sun

I gotta hurry up, I realize, as I see it’s 08:00 AM already, and my check-out time is in an hour. I quickly prepare a porridge that I am not keen on eating at all, but I force myself to, while I pack and start cleaning up the place. I put on some jazz music, which keeps me calm, making my rushed packing feel a bit melodic, at least.

09:05 AM. Oops, five minutes too late. I take one last look at everything, swing the backpack on my back and start walking down the tight stairway of the house. I find my other host, Behnam, whom I’ve had all the messaging contact with, but haven’t met in person yet, standing there, greeting me and asking me if everything was alright. I find him to also be very sweet, just like his wife, Mona. He asks me about my trip, where it started, where it’s heading, and wishes me a nice time. I leave the apartment with a warm feeling around my heart and head out into today’s adventure.

Part 2 – Jazz in the Background

Morning in Altenholz

The sun shines through the houses and the trees from a very low angle, casting a glorious golden hue on everything within my sight. It’s indeed a beautiful day.

I happily take my first few steps, walking towards a very tiny forest area to put on my sunscreen, as I didn’t get a chance to do that in the rush of leaving in time for the check-out, and to eat a boiled egg for some energy.

A bench, still wet with morning dew, greets me, and I try to ignore all the spider webs around it, while I swing my backpack onto it. A few steps away, I spot a hidden pathway, which feels like it leads to a corner from heaven or something. I could spend hours lying there and reading a book, but sadly, I gotta get going…

A secret path

Next stop is the supermarket, an ALDI, where I get myself a pack of cherry tomatoes and a small bottle of water, to have as an extra to the two bottles already in my bag. I am curious to try out the cherry tomatoes as another way to stay hydrated – a tip I read on a hiking blog, in preparation for my trip. I then head out on my official route.

First part of the route runs along (and partly above) very busy streets

First part of the route runs parallel to a very busy street. These are my least favorite parts, as they’re incredibly noisy due to the traffic. But I agreed with myself that it’s okay to just put on my headphones and listen to music in such areas, especially if it’s going to drain me, like it does now. And so, my beloved Jazz in the Background playlist accompanies me for a few more steps, which proves to be a wonderful idea.

The music gives me a fresh boost of energy and I find myself reaching a good, steady pace after just a couple of minutes. Suddenly, the cars become elements that just whoosh past me, like in a dream, with no power over my well-being whatsoever. And I feel like I am in a dream myself.

Luckily, it’s bit hazy, giving everything I lay my eyes on a beautiful softness. Every few steps, I stop and capture a view that grips my Soul.

One of many views that keep making me stop to capture

A field full of horses completely distracts me off my route (I love horses!). I stop every couple of steps to capture the view from another perspective. I am amused by the way the horses seem to evenly distribute themselves over the field. And I love how little they care that I am standing there like a creep watching them.

They don’t seem to mind me watching them creepily

A few minutes later, I force myself to come back to reality – you still got about 19 km to walk, girl – and keep walking. I hear the Komoot (a navigation app) navigation lady complain several times in my ear: “You have left the tour. Take a look at the map”, she begs me, but I am in too much of a blissful mood to care and I keep thinking it’s probably just a delay and the app is not syncing with my current position yet.

And then I do take a look at the map. Ooops. I have indeed left the tour. How could this happen. I was supposed to take a left… just about 50 meters back. Oh, that’s not so dramatic! And so I walk a few steps back, crossing the street, and heading into a very densely overgrown hiking path. Oh no. It’s early in the morning, it’s humid, the bushes are very thick… that means: Spider webs.

(Anyone who knows me well will understand right away what that means. Ever since I was a child, I have had a deadly fear of spider webs. Not as much of the spider (who likes spiders anyway?), as of the web. I have not yet found an explanation for it. Here is a very entertaining story of how intense this fear can get and what shape it can take, from my last hike. Scroll all the way to “Stage 5 – Sincerely fucking real terror” 😊)

Okay. I contemplate. I look at the map for alternatives. There seems to be an alternative closeby. I know it doesn’t make sense to try and still walk through this dense path, as I know how paralyzed I will get every few steps I see a spider web and how much time this will waste. Please, oh please, may this other alternative work, I think to myself, as I start walking back on the path I had just walked to reach the exit I missed.

Horses wherever you look

Hi, horses. It’s me again. For the third time. Just passing through… trying to stay cool about it. Because if the other alternative doesn’t work out, I’ll have to take a third one, which is about 3 km longer, and that would suck endlessly. But it’s the way it is… Let’s just see!

I feel a hint of relief, as I reach the alternative path. It’s a very wide, asphalted path, surrounded by the forest, which should mean… no spider webs. Yes! At least not any spider webs cutting through the path. I take advantage of the shade the high trees cast on the path and allow myself my first break.

The cherry tomatoes really prove to be a good idea. They are a tasty snack and do indeed feel like an alternative to water. At least in this moment, when it hasn’t gotten so warm yet. I walk around my spot, enjoying how light I feel without the backpack, and suddenly, I hear a strange sound, like some sort of vehicle I can’t identify. And indeed, some sort of leaf and dust blowing vehicle pulls up from behind the curve of the path. Shocked, I walk back to my backpack, lift it up and start walking away, while the vehicle approaches. The driver lifts up the part which blows away the leafs, as he passes me, and I thank him awkwardly, while clumsily balancing cherry tomatoes, water bottle, headphones between my hands and chest. A couple of seconds later, I stop to re-adjust everything that I carried hectically in the rush, asking myself, why I didn’t just stay where I am. I could’ve just waited till he passes, but oh, well… my awkward shyness was a bit more dominant this time. That’s okay. I should anyway proceed.

Part 3 – Not a Soul, Not a Sound

The path leads through a beautiful forest, and I don’t see a single soul all the time. The forest gets denser at some parts, and I feel some anxiety creeping up on me. I laugh at myself, after realizing I put the music down, to be able to spot the spider webs better. Like when you put the music down to be able to park better. It’s anyway time to listen to the sounds of the forest now, I think.

Indeed, it is very quiet, and I just hear some birds and the sounds of the leaves rustling.

Fields surround me and invite me to eternalize my memory of them

I also spot some horse poop and chuckle, as I realize this comforts me to see. It means someone passed here with a horse a few minutes ago and broke any spider webs that might have been blocking the path. Amusing thoughts, as I start spotting an end to the path…

The path unexpectedly turns into a bridge

…amazed at where I suddenly end up. I see a bridge, leading through thick reed, over some sort of a very still body of water. I still can’t quite identify what I see, as I make my way towards it, but I can tell it’s picture-worthy and am already pulling out my camera.

On the way there, I spot a girl with a blue hoodie and white shorts, squatting next to her dog and talking to it in a calming voice, between some bushes, on the left side of the path. Wow. I admire her nonchalance about sitting there, knowing how densely populated with insects such bushes are. Also, what about the mosquitos? Those shorts can’t be suitable for that… but she seems to be a local, so I guess she knows what she is doing. And this just gives me more reason to admire her.

I walk further, finally ending up on that bridge. It feels, as if I entered a time that stood still. Nothing is moving. The water is incredibly still, there is not a single breeze. But luckily, it’s less humid than in the forest. And then I spot some ducks in the distance, excitedly munching their way through a very thick layer of yellowish-green algae.

As I walk down that bridge, I keep looking down, fascinated by the algae, actually fascinated by that whole place.

Many worlds intertwine at this place that stands still in time
The algae could be mistaken for a landscape, shot from an airplane or something, don’t you think?

I decide to sit there for a while and to have my next break. I’m at 5km now, so I allow myself to have a longer break now and to have a snack.

My view while taking a break

I notice the girl with the blue hoodie is now also sitting on the other end of the bridge, with her dog. She’s immersed in her phone and I barely hear anything from both of them. And so I am able to stay in my own bubble and enjoy the calmness this moment carries. At least, until I hear what sounds like kids in a school yard, screaming and making some sort of collective drumming noise. I can’t fathom what that could possibly be. But it doesn’t bother me as much as it makes me curious. And where could that school possibly be? This whole place is surrounded by nothing but trees, and it’s so hard to believe there’s an actual village just a few steps away.

Immersed in my fascination, I notice I’ve been sitting here for almost half an hour and that I need to get moving. Especially after my phone almost slips out of my hand, almost falling into the water, giving me a mini shock that surely wakes me up for real now. Okay, off we go.

Part 4 – With Every Sip I Dreamt of the Sea

During my hikes, it again and again amazes me how at one moment you could be walking through the most natural, densely grown forest and feel like you’re in the middle of an abandoned jungle, and then suddenly you reach a perfectly asphalted street, with cars and pretty houses, perfectly distributed along the pavement. This was such a moment. Just like that, I am walking down a clean, asphalted pavement, seeing first characteristics of the village I couldn’t believe exists just a few moments ago. Schilksee, here I am.

The area on the left with those plant symbols and the number 1 is where I was sitting, and the “Schilkseer Straße” is the street that suddenly welcomes me into the village

I notice a bus passing next to me, and as I take a look in its direction, I see a woman rapidly bumping the man next to her with her elbow, pointing towards me, and they both stare at me. Wow, am I that much of a spectacle? How amusing… As agreed with myself before, I stay in observer mode and do not let this unsettle me at all (oh, have we not come a long way, dear Soul?). I keep walking.

The streets are quite empty, most of the people I see are seniors. I see a senior woman, using a rollator, accompanied by a younger man, walking towards me. And as I pass them, I hear the old woman say, literally out of nowhere: “Some just have such nice, smooth legs”, guessing she refers to another woman, who was walking ahead of me and just passed them, with a dress that showed her smooth legs. LOL.

Finally, a sea view

Soon enough, as I walk down a street, I am rewarded with a beautiful view of the Baltic Sea, awaiting me at the end of it. I’m standing on top of a hilly area, so I am reminded a bit of the sea view from Telal, Ain Sokhna, Egypt, which is always such a pleasure to lay eyes on, especially when you are at a much elevated position. In that moment, I miss it.

As it’s quite hazy, the water blends with the sky in a mesmerizing way, entirely blurring the border between the two. It’s very calm, I notice. There are people, but everyone is so quiet. I take a moment to rest on a bench, looking into the distance, re-adjusting my backpack and taking a few closer looks at the route that awaits me. I am surrounded by a few residential houses, some of them have a sea view. Must be lovely to live just a few footsteps away from the sea. A few people walk past me, a jogger, a woman with a big dog, a senior man, a man on a bike. I feel so blissful in the calmness this moment holds.

And then, I get up. There are some stairs leading down to the water every 50 meters or so, as the promenade kind of runs along the top of a small cliff. Some people are sunbathing (without sun), some are swimming, most are just relaxing, immersed in a book or a newspaper. I take in all the impressions with every step I take.

A sunbathing couple

I realize I really need to pee. Luckily, there are bathrooms by the beach every few meters, but horrible signage. I keep walking back and forth, between two signs pointing in the opposite directions, until I realize I must walk down a ramp to get there. And so I do, hoping it will be a functioning and usable bathroom. Sigh, all is fine, I realize, once I get there. It’s a whole container with several stalls and the best thing – it’s for free!

I walk in, curiously observing a man standing outside of the stalls, with the side of my eye. He’s completely in the nude, except for a hat that covers his head, while he’s reading a newspaper, his suitcase open on the ground, with all his stuff exposed (including pans and a pot), as if he’s camping by that place or something. But there is no tent or anything. He stands in a very self-confident pose, and he doesn’t really look up from his newspaper at all. I am amused.

After I finish up, feeling like a relieved newborn, I walk past a little kiosk, about to open for the day, and I hear the two men, who are in the process of opening it, speak Arabic. Oh, the familiarity that keeps visiting me everywhere. I keep contemplating if I should already grab a coffee and snack here or wait till I reach the harbor, which is already within sight, and to check out a café I had marked on my route. I decide to keep going.

View of the harbor from the distance

I am very fascinated by the harbor, the Olympiazentrum Schilksee. It’s not beautiful at all, but it’s like an everything-in-one harbor, which I later find out exists since 1972.

The architecture feels very heavy to me, very grey and a bit aggressive somehow. But I am so curious about it, never having passed such a kind of harbor before. It contains shops, a hotel, underground parking, cafés, restaurants, a bank, and all kinds of services (pharmacy, waste oil disposal, coin laundromat, engine workshop). And of course, every service you could need for your boat.

After making some photos, I decide to finally grab a much craved coffee and cake here. After some confusion on how to get up there (the café is on a higher floor), I find an elevator and decide to just take that. Some music, the kind you’d hear on your local radio or something, starts playing and amuses me. I never experienced that in Berlin. Maybe everyone would be feeling slightly lighter, instead of being yelled at by the elevator lady voice every floor you reach.

The elevator takes me to the floor the café is on

I reach the upper floor. The place is totally empty, except for the terrace of the Café Backbord, which is the one I am looking for. I walk through the occupied tables on the terrace, into the café, which is almost entirely empty, a bit shy at first, as it couldn’t be any more clear that I am not from here, but then immediately feeling at ease, after a very sweet and cheerful waiter greets me in a warm way. I walk to the display and find a wide choice of cakes awaiting me – cheese cakes, chocolate, berries, lemon tart, nuts, and whatnot – which the waiter happily recites for me. Hmmmm. I settle for Kalter Hund/Hedgehog slice, a very chocolatey-biscuity German sweet, that I love. And of course – a black coffee.

I wait, feeling warm and excited about my well-deserved treat, as the waiter prepares the coffee and packs the cake in a bit of a hectic motion, as if he’s constantly confused about something. Suddenly, he turns to me, and asks me if I don’t want at least a bit of milk? No sugar? As usual, I say no, with a sincere smile. He hands me the coffee cup and then lifts his finger remembering something. Do I not want a cover for the cup? Nah, I’ll just drink it right away, I reassure him. With a lot of carefulness, he wraps the cake for me. I pay and head out, thanking him a lot, wishing a nice day, and off I go.

A lovely spot for a break, no?

Back to the elevator, back a few steps into the direction I just came from, I walk back to an area with some possibilities for sitting, with a view on a sandy area of the beach. The sky is still hazy, so the sun is not too rough. I choose to sit on a wooden block, big enough that you could lay down on it, if you like. Backpack aside, I choose to take off my shoes and socks, stretch my legs and to have my cherished coffee break, observing all that is happening around me.

Yum.

I receive a message from my next AirBnb host, confirming that check-in is flexible and I can arrive whenever, which relieves me so much. That means I can take my time with this break and any other breaks awaiting me on this hike. And I guiltlessly do just that.

I enjoy watching the mundane happenings take shape around me in every way. I watch a senior man on an electric wheelchair, taking a break under a tree, looking around. I watch a woman and her daughter (probably between 7 and 9 years old or something), who is incredibly talented aerobically, doing all sorts of moves in the sand and asking her mother to look at her every five seconds. The mother tries to stay engaged, but you can see she really needs some space to read her book.

I watch enormous seagulls carefully looking for crumbs and awaiting that one moment of unattentiveness to steal away someone’s food. I watch a man accompanying his son by a swing. I see two older women sitting on another wooden block, having a lively conversation, and I see a man swimming in the distance… and I enjoy every sip of coffee I take and every bite of the cake, which has become incredibly messy, due to the chocolate melting in the heat.

Another thing that amazes me is the endless quiet, despite so many things happening. Everyone is so calm. Everything so peaceful. Can’t these moments last forever?

Part 5 – Scenes From A Summer Movie

After around half an hour of peace, I get moving, deciding to fasten my pace now, after my long energy recharge. And I do. I walk past all the boats. I see some boats getting prepared, being moved, being cleaned. Boats in different colors, sizes, ages, shapes.

I remember the Yacht Club in Cairo, where I used to have lunch with my parents what felt like every Friday for a while, suddenly feeling a wave of nostalgia wash over me.

After walking one more kilometer, I see more and more people, people who don’t have much to do with boats. People taking walks, joggers, cyclists, and lots of people sunbathing by the water, in every possible spot imaginable. I see a couple sunbathing on gravel ground next to a boat, in a place that looks so uncomfortable and hot. I see people lying down on their towels spread out on rocks, immersed in their books. Some sit between bushes of grass, on dunes. Where there is sand, people sit on the sand. Accompanied by little umbrellas in every possible color. Some don’t have umbrellas. I am amazed at their tolerance for the really strong, burning sun on their skin. But all in all, I’m very warmed up by the mood. With music in my ears, I feel like I’m floating between all that is happening, my body moving in a comfortable rhythm, almost trance-like, pushing the exhaustion way into the background. And it’s all so colorful, like in some summer movie.

Strandkörbe
(check out the link if you’re not familiar with this)
A man is doing moves that I decipher as Qi Gong

I see many older women walk in duos, and I unintentionally pick up on parts of their conversations that usually have to do with food. One woman tells her friend she checks Chefkoch (a very popular German website full of cooking and baking recipes), and another woman talks about the meatballs with Béchamel, which her friend cooks. I am amazed at the energy these women have, several of them accompanying my hike for 2-3km.

I enjoy the asphalted path, which makes walking in a steady pace very easy. Now the sun shines from the South, falling onto my back, which makes it a bit more comfortable to walk. And the blue water to my right is so beautiful, as the sun makes it shimmer.

The water to my side carries endless calm
I reach a spot with some stone sculptures

I reach a spot with little stone “sculptures” and benches facing the vast sea, positioned in the sun. And I need a break. So I choose to sit down on a grass area in the shade, looking at the benches from behind. The grass is so cold compared to everything else and cools me off in an amazing way. It even gets a little chilly. But this cooldown is exactly what I need.

The view from my spot I’m taking a break from on the grass

The path is very busy, with people regularly walking or cycling past me. Two older women sit on one of the two benches, and two other women sit on the remaining bench. All of them immersed in a very lively talk, which I don’t hear anything from. However, suddenly, one of the older women starts laughing uncontrollably, with such intensity. Every time she tries to stop, she bursts out laughing again. And then, after a while, she gets up, and as she and her friend are about to walk away, she turns to me and says, while still laughing: “So, tell me, the Earth is flat, isn’t it? (laughs) And the mountains would fall off, if it wasn’t, right? (laughs)” I awkwardly mumble something I don’t remember, trying to match her energy, as they walk away. So that’s what was so funny! She must not spend much time on social media…

A view to the back, as I walk towards the lighthouse

Another 10km left. Halfway through! I can make it. I keep walking, noticing it is getting a little emptier, as I move away from that village. It is so sunny, which I especially notice, as the route takes on a curve towards the East, making the sun shine on my right side again, instead of on my back. But it’s okay. I keep walking, knowing I am about to reach the lighthouse, at the “tip” of the land.

The “tip” and the lighthouse are where the number 6 is
Lucky me gets the only bench in the shade

And before that, I find a tiny piece of “forest” and a bench protected by the trees, with a wonderful view over the sea. I sit down and take a longer snack break this time, making some notes about all I’ve experienced today, before I forget anything.

A woman takes her time looking at the stones

I watch a woman’s silhouette, while she walks along the beach, carefully looking at the stones on the ground. She never picks anything up, though, so I never get the answer as to what she’s looking for. The whole time I’m sitting there, I see her continue her search. Maybe she’s just admiring the stones.

Time to continue. I walk the few steps left to reach the lighthouse. The area gives you the possibility for a beautiful panorama view. It’s emptier than I expected it to be, and I realize I actually prefer all the other views, which I walked by before, much more. So I shortly capture a couple of photos and continue my way. I can see the cliffs in the distance, very keen on getting there.

View from the lighthouse spot

I walk towards a mesmerizing view, thankful with every step I take, that I get to see this with my own eyes. Amazed at the beauty this Earth holds. Sad that this is not accessible to everyone.

A few steps later, I walk up a cliff, into a thick forest, relieved to be surrounded by trees and some shade. A woman passes me with a scooter. She suddenly stops and looks very attentively behind her. I don’t understand what could be grabbing her attention so much, and I start to think that she’s looking at me, until I see a big black dog sprinting from the distance. It is running in such a straight line, with such a tunnel view, that it only avoids running into me in the last second, because I get out of its way. It runs to her and she drives down the hill, with the dog chasing her. So that’s what she was looking at…

I find shelter and shade in front of a small bush

After I reach the end of the first part of the cliff, around 14km, I realize I am getting tired and walk down to the sand to rest a little. I am now very close to the water. Sheltered by the shade of a small bush with little pink flowers behind me, I lay down a plastic bag to sit on, which I only coincidentally remember I have and take a few deep breaths in. I watch the people walk by the water, try to mentally recharge and get up to continue after a few minutes again.

Shoutout to my fellow Egyptians out there who will smirk seeing that plastic bag – يستخدم خامة صديقة للبيئة 😂

Getting up to walk the second part of the cliff, which I know is entirely exposed to the sun, with no trees, only fields, I spot a sign, which states that access is prohibited. It’s the nesting period of the larks, and they should not be disturbed, it says. Apparently, the official hiking path, the E1, which I am supposed to take, goes along the water, underneath the cliffs, it claims. Ignoring this can end up with a hefty fine of several thousand euros. Signed by the mayor. Okay, that would end up to be a very expensive trip.

It annoys and confuses me so much. I contemplate and contemplate. If I walk underneath the cliff, I know it will be double the energy, because I know walking on sand slows you down incredibly. On the other hand, underneath the cliff there is shade… As I see no one else taking the path over the cliff, I decide to obey to the clearly very hiker-friendly mayor and to walk back. Underneath the cliff it is.

Part 6 – Leave the Horror Here

View from below the cliff

What I didn’t know before and realize after a few steps, is that the air is very, very humid underneath the cliff. And there is not a single breeze to cool me off. The air feels very stuffy. And I am sweating and sweating. But what makes up for it is the amazing view. And that there is almost no one else. Which is always nice, and at the same time a little worrying. What if something goes wrong or the path gets cut off?

I love being close to the water, but the sand is such a pain to walk on

But I decide to focus on the solitude that surrounds me in this moment, and to embrace the challenge. The challenge of navigating through the changing terrain. At the beginning, I find myself walking very close to the water, further away from the cliff itself, basically where the waves touch the sand, because this is the most comfortable area to walk on, and the sand right underneath the cliff is way too soft. Then, the sand by the water gets too soft, and I move a bit further, walking over dry algae instead. Then, the whole beach gets very rocky, and I have to balance myself over rocks of all sorts of shapes and sizes, which requires a very deep focus with every step.

An endless beach, all to myself and my little adventure

However, with some pride and inner strength, I notice that I have indeed grown stronger over the years, my legs and my whole body, and that balancing myself has become something very natural to me.

I especially notice that in a moment when my foot slips off a rock, but my body just counter-acts the slip automatically and I balance within a millisecond, without getting the chance to even feel a shock. Wow. And I acknowledge the investment I made in my hiking shoes back then being so worth it, as they have the best grip ever (except on wet, slippery ground). The first and only hiking shoes I ever bought myself. 70 euros, discounted. Back then, feeling like a fortune to me, which I could barely afford. But gladly realizing the amount of joy the buy brought me, not regretting it for a single day.

I start to feel a little light-headed due to the stuffy air, but I don’t want to take another break yet. Maybe some music will help. I put on Spanish Sahara by Foals, a song that always holds such power over me, especially if I listen to it by the sea. It tells me to leave the horror here, forget the horror here. (The video holds such symbolic meaning to me, especially on this trip.) And with the bliss and power it makes me feel, I walk the steps I need to walk, and push myself through, as required, to make it through this part.

Suddenly, what feels like it’s out of nowhere, I spot a woman walking down some stairs in the distance, towards the water. Never in my life have I experienced the relief of seeing another human being, like when I’m hiking. That means there is an exit here, that means I wouldn’t have to walk all the way back!, I think. Because worst case scenario, if I end up not finding an exit, I’d have to either attempt climbing up a very steep cliff, probably fall and break an arm, or walk all the way back. And we don’t want either of these scenarios to happen.

The woman sits down on some rock, and I greet her while passing her. She seems a bit unhappy that there is someone else here, too, and I totally get that. I keep on walking, keen on getting further as well, but after a few steps, I realize that the stuffiness is getting to me and I’m starting to see stars. Okay. Let’s just sit down, while I’m still feeling fine, shall we?

I don’t know why I thought of making a “selfie” (if that accounts for one) while seeing stars, but I did, so here it is :D

And so I do. On some random rock, I allow myself to lay down, backpack aside, looking towards the sky in relief that I’m taking a break. It’s so quiet. I allow myself several minutes of pure rest, surrounded by the sound of waves, the cold rocks, and the silhouette of the woman in the distance. A military helicopter randomly passes over the water, with a soldier dangling their feet from the door (yes), ruining the quiet, but fortunately, it’s over within a few seconds. I realize with some curiosity, that the rocks are quite cold, and I hold one onto my face to cool it down. Which also works great on my neck, my collarbones, my wrists. Wow, I learned a new hiking skill!

The view to my left
The view to my right
Despite my best efforts not to, I do scare some seagulls

Part 7 – All For The Soul

Luckily, just a few hundred meters later, I reach a very high stairway, leading to the top of the cliff. As I see some people coming down and going up, I figure access is not prohibited anymore. I reach the stairs with what feels like strings pulling against my feet (so tired), and I walk up, feeling like I’m growing a year older with every step I take, sweating insanely. Just keep going.

A beautiful view from the top

And then, I reach the top. And I turn around. And I look at all that beauty. A glimpse of paradise, in all directions I could possibly look. And I let myself fall on a bench, again taking a break, admitting utter exhaustion, while my Soul falls in love with the beauty. It’s all for you, dear Soul.

The continuation of the path that awaits me

After a few minutes, I start walking again. I am completely exposed to the sun, and it’s very hot. I decide to take a break the next chance I get. But till then, I walk through fields and fields of flowers, beauty surrounding every meter I cover. And despite the heat and the exhaustion and the craving to finally arrive, I stop at what feels like every meter to try and capture it, with not a single picture doing it the justice it deserves.

These round things are called balers and they’re usually made of hay

I encounter an old man and what looks like a teenage girl, as I walk. They keep stopping at some bushes and identifying some flowers in a sweet way. I hear her telling him with a sweet laugh: “Schafgarbe, you told me it’s called, not Schafsgarbe, right?” It amuses me that she, as a German person, also makes that mistake. It also took me a while to realize that the name of that specific flower, the Schafgarbe (achillea, in English), she is referring to is pronounced without an s. And I still forget that sometimes.

The old man and the teenage girl talking about achillea

I spot another bench. Yes! Shoes and socks off, I lay myself down, feet spread out on a wooden box… which breaks the very instant my feet touch it. Oops. Luckily no one saw this.

Another beautiful view, some shade, I recharge and try to put myself into the mindset that I’m going to make this somehow. I still have about 5km left…

I take a look at the map and am relieved to know there is the option to take a bus in Dänisch-Nienhof – a village I’m about to reach – if I can’t make it further. I already walked 17,5km after all, I tell myself. And it’s so hot!

But maybe it will get better, once I reach the forest nearby. So I manage to push myself, get up and to keep walking. The path is getting a little busier again now, as there is a street leading to the spot I am in. I walk a bit further, still admiring the landscape, despite my tiredness, keen on reaching those woods I can already see in the distance.

And then I reach the forest, first passing three women, who are walking super slow and talking a lot. I greet them and continue on my way. Once I reach the forest, I immediately feel the relief of being in the shade again. But then… I see spider webs, veeery close to the path. That means no one has walked through this forest in the last couple of hours. Why, oh why?! I am so confused, as it seemed on Komoot like the path is one that is taken a lot.

I still try to walk a few steps further, but then I reach a part, where I can see a spider web kind of hovering over the path. I could just duck down and walk through… But then I realize I would still have another 3km to walk through that forest and I neither have the time nor the energy to do this at every spider web that passes me. Gaaaaaaaaaah, this is so annoying.

Counting in the risk that at some point it could get so dense and bad that I would have to walk all the way back. Nope! Might as well just walk all the way back now.

And so, I walk back, luckily only 300 meters till the next exit, leading away from the shore, into the village Dänisch-Nienhof, which is where I’m taking the bus from. I could walk it from here instead, but I’m already at 18,5km, and it’s getting dark, and I’m tired. So I just calmly walk to the bus station.

Part 8 – A Day Passes Revue

It’s golden hour, and just like in the morning, a glorious golden hue falls on the trees, the grass and the fields. I pass by a horse stable on my way, watching a woman riding, being guided through her training by another woman. On the other side, I admire the beautiful, healthy horses, standing around and eating. The day is ending where it started, I realize.

I make my way to the bus station, realizing it will come in another 20 minutes or so. I sit myself down on the ground, away from the spider web infested seating area, which doesn’t seem to bother a woman who talks very loudly and aggressively on the phone. I can see she’s had a few drinks. Well, I’m just as happy on the grass.

I am in disbelief at where the day started, and where I am now. I let the images flow like snapshots in my head – my host waiting downstairs, while leaving the last apartment, the jazz soundtrack to my first steps, the girl with the blue hoodie, the coffee and cake, the old woman laughing uncontrollably. Wow.

The bus arrives, and I get on it with another girl. It’s only the two of us. I look out the window, at everything passing me in incredible speed, relieved that I didn’t choose to still walk all of this distance. My God, that would’ve been bad.

Five minutes later, I finally get off at Surendorf, the village I’m staying in. It’s 07:15 PM. I realize I’m very close to a supermarket – a Netto – and I decide to just head there to get something to eat, instead of ordering food, which is what my plan would’ve been. I really take my time choosing, so relieved that I have basically arrived.

I pay and stop for a minute outside in the parking lot to put the stuff into my backpack, distracted by the loud laughter of a couple sitting on the pavement, a few meters away from me. I see that they look at me, staring at me provocatively, especially the woman. And just as the wolf inside me is about to attack, the very tired… horse? in me silences it on time. Not today. I am way too tired for a meaningless fight. It’s clear they’re bullies with a lot of time at their hands and I’m not letting them feast on my energy. So I give them a mean look instead and walk away.

Finally, I reach my shelter for the night. The sun has already set and the sky has a very navy tone to it. Anne, my host, greets me with a lot of warmth and an incredible amount of curiosity about my hike. I am very honored and at the same time disappointed that I am unable to match that level of excitement and to share all I would have loved to share about my experiences as a solo hiker, keeping my answers way too vague. But I try my best. She’s amazed that I am doing this on my own and asks me what it’s like. She is seriously contemplating doing that next year, she says. I say that I can definitely recommend it. And I tell her a bit about my first hike, three years ago.

For the second time today, I hear “you are so lucky with this weather”, and I tell her that I thought the same, but that it was actually too hot. But now… I guess, thinking of the amount of pictures I could make and the breaks I could basically have anywhere, at any time, without any worry of getting wet, that in the end, despite the sweat, the pain, the stuffiness, yes, that was indeed a lot of luck. :)

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Today’s completed route:

“B” is where I took the bus from, till “Surendorf”, towards the West

Trip stats:
approx. 20,5 km – 4 hrs 36 minutes (in motion) – 4,5 km/h (average speed)

If you’re interested to see the path I walked on komoot, follow this link:

https://www.komoot.de/tour/1294552276